Ronnie Moore! I miss you. You can’t seem to get shit onto television, with pilot after pilot vomiting up all over itself. Now you’re adapting a TV adaptation of some fucking series of novels I have never came across.

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I didn’t really give a shit about Eastbound & Down‘s third season. This runs contrary to some of the other OL regulars, but what can I say. Imma drop the truth. Powers went full douchebag, and the underlying heart that made him quasi-redeemable wavered in and out. I’m hoping the fourth season can crawl its way back to a happy medium.

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The biggest problem with Dexter the past couple of years has been that nothing has fucking happened. Agreed, the lack of John Lithgow’s glorious bare butthole has also been a drag, but its the lack of progress that has submarined it for me. Perchance, we can worry no longer! The producers of Dexter are totally confirming its totally ending come season 8, and they know where the story is going.

Good.

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All things considered, I’m excited for this seventh season of Dexter. The terrible sixth season ended in a manner that suggested, Jesus Christ wait for it, they may actually be taking the show somewhere. With only what, two? seasons left, hopefully they’ll begin playing for keeps.

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[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task – choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

Most us are nothing more than sacks of flesh feebly held together with some chicken-finger ligaments. We’re weak, cowardly, and directionless. The human condition, if you haven’t noticed, is not generally teeming with dignity. Consequently, we rely on those who manage to combine natural talent with hard work so as transcend the mundane. Whether into the realms of fiction or reality, we all venture forth in hopes of finding a hero.

So there’s really nothing more treacherous than when a hero turns his back on his admirers.

Unfortunately, there’re more than a few examples of our heroes failing us. No, these don’t include instances in which our champions fight on our behalves but fall short. Hell, dying for a cause might be the most heroic act of all. Instead, idols truly disappoint us when they disregard the joy and admiration we’ve afforded them, essentially spitting upon the very people who’ve forged the crowns adorning their heads.

So this begs the question – who is the most traitorous hero of all? Well, we’ve narrowed it down to two contenders: LeBron James and Hollywood Hogan.

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I don’t know much about Barbarella, but I do know that I’m down for whatever Nicolas Winding Refn is working on.

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If you didn’t catch it, don’t worry. I didn’t either. Last season, Game of Thrones stuck George W. Bush’s skull atop a stake, and the creators couldn’t help themselves in revealing the tidbit. Then everyone went and got all incensed. Go figure!

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All hands on deck!

It appears that Spaceship Omega has inadvertently veered off course. Somehow, perhaps because Navigator Burton fell asleep after drinking too many Pepsi-and-gasoline cocktails, we have slipped into a pocket of spacetime usually avoided at all costs. That’s right, folks, batten down the hatches and brace yourselves! We’re headed right for it!

The beginning of the workweek!

As wave after wave of ennui, minutiae, and stress wash over us, we can rest assured. For every passenger of Spaceship Omega has a spot in the refuge known as the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! What is this sanctuary, you ask? Well, this is where I take the time to show you the various bits of entertainment and mind-drivel I’ll be using to survive the onslaught of real-world responsibilities. Then, you hit up the comments section and tell us which floatation device you’ll be clinging to when your ass is tossed into the Ocean of Obligation.

Yes, beneath the half-baked metaphors and bleeding-heart-on-my-sleeve hyperbole, it’s folks tryin’ to point one another in the direction of cool shit.

Oh no! Another wave! Let’s do this!

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Yup.

Budrickton, Slacker in the North, First of His Name.

(some more specific thoughts from this otherwise straightforward-but-incredible spectacle to be rolled into a season-end post this week!  Finalé’s tonight at 9pm on HBO, and it’s clockin’ in at 64 minutes!  Adjust thy PVRs, and enjoy!)