#Television
‘GOTHAM’ TV show to feature BRUCE WAYNE ORIGIN. Villains, too.
Because of course! I imagine that no matter how well written Gotham is, a preponderance of people are going to gravitate towards it for one reason. The tenuous tie to Bruce Wayne/Batman/Bat-Guy/Joke-Face. So it makes complete sense that the show will feature origins out the ass.
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‘GAME OF THRONES’ SEASON 4 TRAILER: The War’s Not Won
Oh Jaime! My bb! What has become of you? Sure you lost your hand, but that was manageable. Now you’ve lost your beard too, and man this hurts to see. Hurts to consume. I will knuckle down and grit my teeth and sally forth. For you.
Hit the jump for the trailer for Thrones‘ fourth season.
‘GAME OF THRONES’ returning in April. Bless the God of Wine…and other things.
Well fuck me sideways! Game of Thrones has a return date. This means I’m going to have to finally conjure the fortitude to watch the last three episodes of season three. I mean — I read the book. But that ain’t having read ain’t the same as having seen The Red. You know?
Wachowski’s Netflix series ‘SENSE8’ gets some deets.
Despite breaking my heart with the Matrix sequels, the Wachowskis are always capable of exciting me. I don’t understand the phenomena, I’m just learning to live with it. So yeah, I’m excited for Sense8.
Stan Lee got himself an ‘AGENTS OF SHIELD’ appearance.
Stanley Lee has been in every single Marvel movie to date. Is that right? *Fact-checkers I’ve imagined nod at me* Okay cool. However all of those appearances are limited pretty much to a cameo. So you’d be comfortable assuming his gig on Agents of SHIELD would be the same sort of flavor. But you’d be wrong, bro! Wrong!
‘HOUSE OF CARDS’ SEASON 2 Trailer: Democracy Is Overrated
Hey man, Frank Underwood’s words, not mine. Here is the “official” (what the fuck was the last one, then?) trailer for season two of House of Cards. Looks fucking killer! Is that a pun? I don’t know. Probably.
Hit the jump for the glory.
Best of 2013–Eduardo Pluto’s Long-Winded and Late Picks
A week ago, I went out to dinner with a group of my friends. It was a memorable time, but it brought my year into focus—or rather, brought out its relative indistinctness. One friend, whom I hadn’t seen for a year, sat next to me during this festive occasion, and of course, having not spoken much to each other in some time, we decided to catch up. The problem was I didn’t have much to offer, so we were close to being caught up from the get-go. (It’s a wonder how I have any friends to begin with.)
The most pertinent conversation went like this:
“Hey, Eduardo! It’s great seeing you! So what have you been up to?”
“Not much.”
“Really?
“Ya, same old, same old, really.”
“I haven’t seen you in a year and nothing new has happened? I find that hard to believe.”
“Well, I’m a year older than I was the last time I saw you, so I guess that’s something.”
Fin.
PEGGY CARTER from ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA’ GETTING HER OWN TV SHOW. Righteous.
I say goddamn yes! Let this be true. Peggy Carter was a gem in Captain America: Pump Him Full of Drugs Then He Can Pump Me. Unfortunately since Steve Rogers decided to go full fucking popsicle, it sort of purged what would be an Old As Fuck Peggy Carter from the MCU. However, there’s a way around that! A way around that!, true believers. A television show set in the past featuring her stellar goddamn adventures. Let this be true.
Best of 2013 – Nico The Intern’s Picks
Let’s get the apology out of the way first. To the crew and passengers aboard the ship, I’m sorry for being so unacceptably neglectful of my duties. However, I’ve been building you all a present. Come down any time you want and visit me just off the engine room in our brand-spanking new Dreamatorium. Not as technologically advanced as a Holodeck, but it works in an overly imaginative pinch.
Monday Morning Commute: Neon Light, Black Coffee, & Red Blood
With a fresh Pepsi in hand, Absalom took a deep breath and began his tale.
“We’d been tryin’ to get home for ages, and we were all in rough shape. Beat-up. Hungover. Outta gas. And hungry, to boot! There wasn’t no way we’d be able to travel through the night. So I had to call in a favor to woman I’d’ve rather not ever seen again.”
“Waitta second,” interjected the Pie-Eyed intern, sole audience member of this performance, “whereyou says you comed from? Why’s you away inna furs-place?”
“Ah, yes. It’s a long story. But in short, this guy I knew – friend-of-a-friend sort of thing – was all sorts of salty `bout his ex-girlfriend bein’ with another man. So, he assembled a crew to travel `cross a bunch of states and win her back. With nothin’ to do but sit around drinkin’ beers and readin’ science fiction, I volunteered for what I’d assumed would be a grand adventure.”
“Wuzzit?”
“You’re goddamned right it was! I don’t think I’ll ever see nothin’ more glorious than a midnight fist-fight in a donut shop – everything blurrin’ together in a wash of neon light and black coffee and red blood!”
Absalom seized a moment to swish cola across his gums and crack his knuckles, like hitting the reset button on a broken-bodied Storyteller Machine. He flagged down the bartender and re-upped Pie-Eyed’s drink.
“Phanks man, but I dunno if I needa ‘nother.”
“Kid, it ain’t `bout need! Hell, ain’t no needs bein’ met in this entire bar! This place is `bout the Tapioca Populace foolin’ themselves into believin’ that they can even conjure up the notion of danger or excitement or novelty! So drink your drink!”
Pie-Eyed obeyed and Absalom continued.
“So anyways, after spillin’ teeth in the donut shop we attracted some attention, so we had to scram. Hightailin’ it out, we got ourselves into all sorts of trouble. Drinkin’ and fornicatin’ and fightin’. Glorious! But before y’knew it, a three-day drive had mutated into two weeks. Two goddamn weeks.”
“Thazz,” Pie-Eyed slurred and sipped and slurred, “thazz crazy. Whattya do?”
“Well, with the gas-gauge on E, the backseat-keg on its last pint, and the paper absent from our wallets, I decided to rely on the generosity of Susy.”
“Who’s Susy?”
“Susy,” Absalom paused to take a rip of Pepsi and stare into the middle distance, “Susy’s a goddamn witch.”
—-
Come one, come all! This here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! What’s that, you ask? Well, once a week Spaceship OL has to touch down on a nearby moon or satellite-weigh station for refueling purposes. During this time, I share the upcoming itinerary with the crew, detailing the means by which I’ll be navigating our rusty pop-culture mind-vessel through the Omniverse. After sharing my plans, the floor is opened up and everyone is encouraged to share their prospective space-maps.
In other words, we nerd out about the various ways we’ll be entertaining ourselves.
Let’s do the damn thing!
