While everyone is busy sweating Batman rumors, I’ll watch Baby Inception on repeat. You can’t script the amazing pay-off at the end.

Well, we saw this shit coming, didn’t we? I always imagined that Nolan would only be up for three Batman flicks. He’d complete the storyline he wanted to tell, throw the deuces up to everyone, and ride off into the sunset.   This idea of mine was only strengthened by a recent report that Nolan told Bale he’d be like totally done playing Bruce Wayne after the next flick. And then, news came out today where Nolan up and confirmed it.

EW via Slashfilm:

I feel very glad that I’m doing another Batman film. I think it would have been daunting to sit down and write an original script after Inception. I love working within the realm and rules of our Batman world. It’s kind of nice to have someplace to go that I’m super-excited about.

I must say that I’m glad – I’m very, very glad – to be embarking on the last chapter of our Batman saga without any sense of obligation or duty to the studio. They did very well with Inception. So I’m able to go into finishing our story in a very enthusiastic way.

I’m happy as hell with this news. It gives Nolan and the cast to go out in a blaze of glory in their final installment. Wrap everything up, leave their stamp on the universe, and then laugh as they watch other people try and top them. Sure, the franchise ain’t going to die. Way too much money. And maybe Nolan would even have made a better fourth movie than whoever comes next. But as Rendarbones Frankenpepsi says, perhaps there’s something to going out on top. Riding off into the sunset.

Thoughts? Impressions? Hit the comments box.

Sometimes I watch movies without Nic Cage in them. They’re usually really bad. I refuse to suffer alone. Welcome to Omega Sinema.

The Secret of Magic Island is a 1956 kiddie matinee movie from France with a cast made up entirely of animals. And it’s awesome. I don’t need a plot in order to enjoy watching a dog tend bar and a fox wash a rooster, but there is one. A “villainous space-age” monkey steals a good fairy’s magic wand that bestows on him power over the elements. Two brave ducklings travel via hot-air balloon to the monkey’s island to end his reign of elemental terror. I think. See, there is no known English-language print of the movie. The bootleg I watched was in Swedish. It honestly could have been in German (I hate German) and I still would have watched it. It’s the most adorable one hour of anything ever. It’s cutesploitation!

The first 10 minutes consists of a duck driving around a village and delivering mail. The first thing he does? Get drunk at Cafe Billiards! The proprietor of the cafe is the boxer puppy in the above picture. He’s just lamping behind the bar, reading the newspaper, and drinking lager with a duck. This movie rules already! The duck finishes then drives past a house filled with bunnies, then an inventor dog, and then a sawmill run by a pig. It is a fucking paradise.

Then he drops by the home of a kitten playing a church organ…I could just keep going on like this – listing the incredible marvels that await you on Magic Island. But instead I’m going to suggest you hunt down a torrent for yourself. You won’t regret it. Next time you fight with your girlfriend, just put on Magic Island. Next time the results come back positive, put on Magic Island.

It’s a balm for your heart.

Those two fiendish goblins Boredom and Apathy are running amok, hoping to infiltrate the brain-bone of any unsuspecting humanoid. In the current system, the one that drags us down and demands we work far too long for far too little of a reward, they are highly successful. After all, Bordeom and Apathy sit outside of offices and follow workers home, striking just as TV-dinners are microwaved. But there is a refuge, a small oasis in the desert of the modern condition. And you know what?

You’ve arrived.

Welcome, my babies, to the Monday Morning Commute. This is the place where we share our ideas about the upcoming week. Here, we stave off malaise and depression and lack of enthusiasm! Join me!

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Mourning / Irvin Kershner

Irvin Kerschner is dead. You know what that means, don’t you? That’s right, the last director to helm an amazing Star Wars flick is no longer a passenger on Spaceship Earth. The Empire Strikes Back isn’t just a credible sequel or a fantastic piece of science fiction, it’s one of the most affective stories I’ve ever experienced.

What makes the movie magical isn’t the mind-blowing special effects or the incredible battles – although they are appreciated – it’s the abundance of relatable elements of humanity. Friends are torn apart. Lovers seek passionate infernos, only to have complications extinguish the embers. An individual pushes himself to the limits of his capabilities, only to undermine his progress by leaving early. Hell, there’s even a suave black dude with a cape.

I have no doubt in my mind that without Irvin Kershner, The Empire Strikes Back would not be the masterpiece we know it as today. Hopefully he’s chilling in Heaven blue-ghost style, chatting it up with Richard Marquand. Hell, maybe they’ll even take it upon themselves to haunt Lucas on Christmas Eve, showing him the error of his ways.

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The director behind the Empire Strikes Back totally became one with the Force today. Lame jokes ahoy! Seriously though, Irvin Kershner passed away tofay at the age of 87. Goddamn. As the director of my favorite installment of my favorite thing ever, the dude has a special place in my heart. Ah, mortality! You son of a bitch.

Rest in piece duder, high five Nielsen for all of us.

So it goes.

It’s being reported that Leslie Nielsen has died after a brief bout of pneumonia. As a child of the early 1990s, I’ll always remember Nielsen as Lieutenant Frank Drebin of the Naked Gun franchise. However, Leslie’s filmography extends far beyond those three masterpieces and he should be praised for producing an entire body of work – most of which was geared towards slapstick-abuse and crafty-wordplay.

If God lets Canadians into heaven, I have a feeling that Mr. Nielsen might be chilling with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze.

Oh good lord, what the fuck is this bullshit. I thought I could comfortably throw my weight behind Zack Snyder to deliver a lighthearted, flashy Superman. Then I wake up today and everything doesn’t make sense and I found out he’s leaning towards making a 100% CGI Superman? What? What the fuck? Someone cockslap me, I want to wake up.

io9:

Movienewz is reporting that director Snyder, “has plans to rely heavily on CGI for the Man of Steel.” Which we can only imagine would mean Goode in the flesh for all of the Clark Kent shots, and some sort of Green Lantern-meets-Avatar CG nonsense when he’s kicking butt as the Man Of Steel.

Oh Jesus. Why would you do this? Aren’t we all burned out on Avatar-esque bullshit? Even assholes like me (listen, I fucking hate myself) who were totally wowie-kazowied over Avatar initially? Stop, don’t tell me anything else.

IGN:

We at IGN have been hearing talk of a CG-enhanced Superman as well. In fact, our sources claim that Snyder stopped by to meet with the effects folks behind Avatar recently to check out their techniques, which kind of/sort of suggests that he’s interested in Avatar-izing his Man of Steel.

I’m about to barf up the sixteen cans of Diet Mountain Dew I’ve pounded today. Maybe this shouldn’t surprise me. All of Snyder’s movies have relied on deep, thick, chunky amounts of CGI. Even Sucker Punch, which I’m sweating, is a computer generated wank fest. But to go 100% CGI for a Superman? Barf. Barfalicious. Fuck you, Frat Boy Rock. Haven’t you seen how assy the Green Lantern suit looks?

God dammit.

Mark Wahlberg as Nathan Drake? Fucking gross. Mind you, this isn’t coming from some hater of Marky Mark. I dig the dude. Boogie Nights? Check. I Heart Huckabees? Check. Meanwhile, roles of Nathan’s Dad and Uncle are being written into the movie. ‘Cause they sure ain’t in the game. The roles of Uncle and Father? DeNiro and Pesci. No, seriously.

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I’ve tried not to think about it, since it milked tears from my fanboy eyes. But since we’re all dragging it out into the open, I’ve long held that Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale were probably going to throw up peace signs and exit stage left after the third Batman movie. Not only did I think it probable, but a good portion of me wants them to. Tell their tale, and then go on their way. Why not leave the game on top, having capped off their arch? Sometimes it’s cool to go out on top, as opposed to dwindling into oblivion.

Well, Christian Bale has got these ruminations rumbling while doing press for his upcoming flick The Fighter. Slashfilm broke down the conversation, which is circuitous, and really may be nothing more than Bale being coy.

Slashfilm:

I believe, unless Chris [Nolan] says different, this will be the last time I’m playing Batman.

So, the obvious follow up would be, do you think Nolan might say differently? Here’s what Bale responded with.

Until Chris tells me, I don’t believe it, It’s gotta be from his mouth, or else I don’t really know.

So, was there a time when Nolan told him that he was only doing three movies? Or is he just playing coy? He’s placing the entire onus in Nolan’s hands, which is a neat way of avoiding saying you’re ready to give up the role that made you a gazillionaire, right?

This is why I’m an unprincipled asshole. Well, among other things. You see, despite being totally meh (at best) about the Green Lantern trailer, I’m still excited for it. How does that work? I have no idea. Today, Bleeding Cool posted a few images from the movie, and I have to say, I dig on Parallax, if the artwork in question really is from the movie. Looks pretty god damn cool.

Hit the jump for the potential picture of Parallax, as well as Peter Sarsgaard with a considerably swollen dome-piece.

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