The Rock is going to be co-starring in the Justice League flick? Which is going to begin filming right after Batman vs. Superman vs. Gal Godot vs. Aquaman vs. Good Taste? Now that’s a fucking doozy of a rumor.

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Well then. Broken news has broken in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Looks like Paul Rudd is going to be playing the more comedic, younger Ant-Man. With Michael Douglas playing an older Hank Pym.

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So like the thousands of people (myself included) who pegged Loki to be leading the next Marvel one-shot are wrong. Egg on my face! Instead, it’ll be none other than The Mandarin. Or Trevor, rather. But hey I really enjoy the dude’s shtick so I can bounce to that.

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Bryan Singer hasn’t finished shitting out X-Men: Every Cameo Ever Except for Rogue – Time Travelling!, but that isn’t stopping him from talking about the next flick. Which he isn’t even officially directing yet but let us be honest we won’t be spared. So what exactly is X-Men: Apocalypse going to be about?

Hit the jump and you shall receive.

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Who is going to be Ant-Man? Hank Pym? Scott Lang? Both? Neither? Edgar Wright knows, and he’s teasing our tips, lips, and bits with information. Or disinformation. Some sort of formation.

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A week ago, I went out to dinner with a group of my friends. It was a memorable time, but it brought my year into focus—or rather, brought out its relative indistinctness. One friend, whom I hadn’t seen for a year, sat next to me during this festive occasion, and of course, having not spoken much to each other in some time, we decided to catch up. The problem was I didn’t have much to offer, so we were close to being caught up from the get-go. (It’s a wonder how I have any friends to begin with.)

The most pertinent conversation went like this:

“Hey, Eduardo! It’s great seeing you! So what have you been up to?”

“Not much.”

“Really?

“Ya, same old, same old, really.”

“I haven’t seen you in a year and nothing new has happened? I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, I’m a year older than I was the last time I saw you, so I guess that’s something.”

Fin.

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Whoop, whoop! That’s the sound of the police! Or rather the witty, teenage gumshoe Veronica Mars back on the scene. But she ain’t a teenager no more, and this ain’t the small screen. Boom! See! ‘Cause it’s the trailer for the Veronica Mars movie. I’m fucking stoked! Stoked! Watching the trailer reminds me of how much I used to love this show. And how long ago the show was on. Fuck, I’m getting old. Darkness, darkness. Beautiful Kristen Bell. More darkness.

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The next Marvel one-shot that’s arriving in tow with the Thor: The Dark World release is going to be titled “All Hail The King.” Anyone who has seen said movie has a pretty good goddamn idea who is going to be the star of the one-shot. Unless Marvel is trolling our asses, having quietly obtained the rights to Army of Darkness. Which would be the gnarliest thing ever. Ash for the Avengers Movement, please.

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I say goddamn yeah! The first promo image for Guardians of the Galaxy has dropped. It features the ragtag gang of space fuckers all lined up. Probably being busted for drinking too much and letting Rocket pull his furry balls out in some intergalactic cantina.

Hit the jump to peep it.

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The Rock is going to enter the DC cinematic universe? Don’t tease me, brolo! Don’t do that. I mean, if there is anything that can save the Universe that Snyder and Goyer are Sinking it’s The Rock. Obviously? Now the big question is who would he play? For my money I’d have him play the big three. That’s right. Superman. Plastic Man. Zatanna.

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