[photo by x-ray delta one]

No more than fifteen minutes ago, I came to the startling realization that my wireless connection was conking out. With the mission of delivering the Monday Morning Commute, there was only one choice. A grim, terrifying, dangerous choice.

Sneak into Caffeine Powered’s subterranean lair. Hack into his data-relay system. Deliver the lode. Get the fugg out.

So without further adieu, I present my weekly dose of beautiful brain damage. After checking out what entertainment I’ll be exploring, hit up the comments and share your own prospective travel plans.

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Wondering/Where’s Randy Savage?

[Where’s Randy Savage? Right here. And here. And here.]

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[photo by x-ray delta one]

Oh how the time flies! Look, there it goes again! Lord Linear has jumped into his One-Way Rider and just keeps cruisin’ along, never deviating or allowing for honest reflection! BLAST! If only some time-hoppin’ bandit, a charming rogue with a proclivity for anachronism, could save us! If only…

Welcome, my babies, to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the spot where we share our plans for the week – not the shackles of Work/Eat/Sleep/Repeat, but the open fields of pop culture and entertainment to which we’ll flee. First I’ll let you traverse my caffeine-addled mindscape, and then you hit up the comments and grant me access to those neurons of yours that still fire.

Let’s do this.

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Rockin’ / BTBAM – Specular Reflection (Teaser)

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And then there was one! What’s up, interfelons. How the fuck are you doing? Caffeine Powered here. Ridin’ solo on the fucking Mothership. Holding down the Monday Morning Commuting and everything. Rendar, that pig fucking anarchist is currently on the left coast. Motherfucker is in San Diego, living life. Do you think he wrote MMC before heading off? Hell no! He was intending to ghost ride this son of a bitch into the ocean! Well, I grabbed the fucking wheel. Not that I wouldn’t have done the same.

[edit: rendar actually texted me this morning about writing it, proving that he is infinitely more responsible than me.]

So here I am filling in.

I used to run this fuggin’ column. Then the grand irony hit; when I finally had real life adult bullshit to do, I couldn’t write about my means for escaping it. No escape!

Monday Fucking Morning Commute.
The thread where we discuss what various arts, items, pornographic fetishes we’re digging this week.

Fuck you, let’s dance.

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This time next week, I’ll be on vacation. I’m hopping on the first shuttle out of Hoth and heading towards the glorious Cloud City. Once there, I plan on drinking forties with Lando and crusin’ the skies with Lobot. To top it all off, my babe’s going to be accompanying me, providing the Leia necessary to complete my Han Solo fantasy.

As long as I don’t wind up frozen in carbonite, it’s going to be a good time.

Unfortunately, this week is going to see me wading knee-deep in work-caca. So until first transport is AWAY!, I’m going to keep my mind pacified with all sortsa goodies. Check out what I’ll be doing this week, then hit up the comments and tell me what you’ll use to pass the (space)time(continuum).

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Rockin’ / Devin Townsend Project – LIVE EP (Free)

[obtain]

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[photo by brian auer]

Holy shit, it’s Monday again. Funny how that happens. The workweek stings, but there’re plenty of ways to dull the pain. No, I meant other than booze!

Let’s swap ideas. I’ll show you how I’m going to continue embarking upon the path of personal evolution via pop culture and mindrot. Then, you hit up the comments and do the same. It’s simple as that for your simple ass.

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Rockin’ / Bowie — Hunky Dory

I’m not a prophet or a stone age man
Just a mortal with the potential of a superman
I’m living on
I’m tethered to the logic of Homo Sapien
Can’t take my eyes from the great salvation
Of bullshit faith
If I don’t explain what you ought to know
You can tell me all about it
On the next Bardo
I’m sinking in the quicksand of my thought
And I ain’t got the power anymore

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We were raised by glowing boxes and nourished by the aluminum teats of sugar-liquids. Now adults, at least in the eyes of the law, we cannot help but look at the workweek as an adversary. Just as the Spartan gazed upon the wolf.

To thwart this formidable foe, we summon the spirits for help. Music. Comics. Movies. Caffeinated beverages. And the like.

Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute. I’m going to tell you which weapons I’ll use to parry the workweek’s devastating ennui. If you care to join the battle, hit up the comments and show me your wares.

–-

Readin’ / ORC STAIN vol. 1

Holy shit! This comic is damn amazing! I spent Saturday evening reading the first trade of Orc Stain (collecting issues #1-5) and I’ve been drooling over it ever since. In one fell swoop, James Stokoe demonstrated that he’s a creator whose name is going to carry some serious weight in the next few years.

Orc Stain tells the tale of One-Eye, an orc with a knack for unlocking not just safes and treasure troves, but anything – with a whack of his hammer, he can dismantle an entire building. In five issues the series establishes its own vocabulary, mythology, and visual language. If you have even a fleeting interest in fantasy, blood-feuds, or hilarious castrations, this is for you.

POXA GRONKA, BITCH!

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Sometimes the Monday Morning Commute is prefaced with a short story or anecdote. Not today. Instead, I’m going right for the top-turnbuckle so that I can drop the entertainment elbow. You know the drill – I show you what I’m going to do in my free time to avoid insanity (or perhaps induce it). And then you, as a loyal reader of OL, hit up the comments section and do the same.

Let’s dance, Sally.

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Rockin’ / OFWGKTA – Radical

[oddfuture]

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We are once again celebrating Monday Morning Commute! Sure, the work week will probably bring plenty of stress and disappointment. Maybe you’ll get fired. Maybe your boss will sexually harass you. Maybe he won’t. But no matter what setbacks you suffer, you’ll need to make time to enjoy life. Otherwise, what’s the fuggin’ point?

Check out what I’ll be doing this week. Then, if you’re daring, let me know what you’ll be up to. This is nerd-culture at its finest.

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Pushed aside by his siblings, there’s no chance for the little one to suckle the teat. The others become fat and content, gorging incessantly on the readily-available sustenance. The runt must find a new source, a way to survive despite being rejected by Mother Society.

And so he crawls, one painful movement at a time, towards the avuncular alternative. It is not an easy trek, but it is rewarding. For Father Nerd turns away nary a soul.

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This is the Monday Morning Commute, the post where we share what we’ll be doing over the course of the next week. Come on in, wrap yourself in a snuggie, take a shot of Crystal Pepsi, and tell me what type of debauchery you’ll be filling your time with.

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Come one, come all! Join the frenzy! This is the Monday Morning Commute, the little niche I carve for myself at the beginning of the work week to tell you about my tentative plans for the next few days. After you read about the nerdcore endeavors I’ll be undertaking, hit the comments section with your own course(s) of action.

Are you going to spend every night drankin’ beers and reading Lord of the Rings? Are you going to finally apologize to the mailman for assaulting him during a caffeinated rage of blinding proportions? Are you going meet your Internet girlfriend at a shady bowling alley? Let us know.

But for now, take a peek at what I’ll be doing.

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