The X:Men First Class posters released by Fox sucked. Fact, not opinion. Dope website that I sometimes snag from, Sucker Punch, issued a challenged to its readers. The decree read (I’m paraphrasing), “Talented motherfuckers, we can do better than this.”

And they did.

Check out some of the results.

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Baby, I don’t have time for foreplay tonight. So feel free to put down the bottle of champagne and NES controller. C’mon, hop right into the sack with me. It’s time to get frisky.

This here’s the Monday Morning Commute, the spot where I tell you what I’ll be doing this week. We’re all dealing with that pesky infirmity known as the work-world, and so a double-dose of entertainment is necessary. Administer as many times daily as possible. Let’s dance.

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Rockin’/Coloring Book EP – Glassjaw

I put off downloading Glassjaw’s latest effort for awhile, telling myself that they’d make it available for purchase. But they haven’t. In fact, the only way to snag a physical copy is to attend one of their shows, and unfortunately the Boston gig sold out before I got a ticket. So, promising myself that I’d give GJ money when they decide they want my money, I downloaded Coloring Book.

Some of the tunes have a real Latin vibe, with funky-ass claves and tamborines and shit. And then some of the songs absolutely crush. And, as though they knew exactly what I wanted, the band closes the album with Daytona White, a jazzier number complete with brushstrokin’ drums and Sunday-morning keyboards.

It’s fuggin’ sick.

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Marvel has a Captain America movie coming out this summer. However, Steve Rogers the Captain America hasn’t been holding down the role in the Marvel funny book for the past couple of years. No sir. That honor would go to Rogers’ friend with whom he shares obvious latent homosexual love for, Bucky.  However wouldn’t you know that come July, the storylines will see Steve Rogers once again becoming Captain America.

The ‘storylines.’

Not anything like ‘marketing synergy’ and ‘editorial mandates.’

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Omega Level favorite Warren Ellis is taking on six issues of ‘Secret Avengers’ starting With August’s #16, and I’m fucking stoked. Here’s Ellis explaining it himself.

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Apparently the reaction at Wondercon to ten mintues of Green Lantern footage was so hot that WB decided to drop some of it on our collective asses. They’ve released four minutes of the footage, and you can check it out after the jump.

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BASK IN THE DELIGHT THAT IS OUR CULTURAL APOCALYPSE. For sometimes it dredges up certain bullshit filth vomit that will still manage to entertain me. I will stamp in the puddles of filth that is our collective cultural consciousness, giggling as the fecaltainment splashes into my mouth.

Latest example?  Schwarzenegger and Stan Lee are developing  The Governator.

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Jeff Robinov came out this week and said that WB is working like motherfuckers on a Justice League of America movie. Okay. I’m already skeptical. The assumed idea would be that like Marvel is doing, WB would collate all of their singular big name stars like Van Wilder and Henry Cackle or whatever into one juggernaut flick with insane marketability.

Zack Snyder says motherfucking NAY!, to this occuring.

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NBC and its design gurus have heard the cumulative cry of a thousand fanboys and fangirls, and altered the costume that  ï»¿Adrianne Palicki will be wearing as Wonder Woman on the NBC television series. The problem? It’s still gaudy as fuck.

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I got myself a stack of the fat ass funny books. ‘Stead of reading them, I have to blather to you interbeings about the shit that is dropping in the world of comics tomorrow, and I’ll be goddamned if that ain’t proof Leibniz didn’t know shit. Most perfect of all worlds? My fucking ass! Pizza gets you fat and your fucking colon kills you.

Bullshit.

This is the world of Variant Covers, a preview of the comic books coming out this week. Hit me with your pull-list.

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We all know it’s coming. It is the dark, depressing underbelly of Christopher Nolan finishing off his bonerfying Batman trilogy. We all know that the moment he wraps on the son of a bitch, and the moment we gaze upon its guaranteed (GUARANTEED) resplendent glory, we’ve seen the last of the Nolanverse’s take on Bruce Wayne.

This week in the LA Times, the new WB Guru Leader Hivemind commented on this inevitable change.

Batman will be reinvented, but!, with Nolan producing.

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