Now we’re talking about a Black Sabbath! What’s going on? Welcome to the Planet Omega, of the Inappropriate System. Stumbled across this web comic over at I Heart Chaos. I think it’s something like two years old, so stuff it with the “This shit is old!” nonsense. I’m aware. But fuck, it’s new to me.

What’s crackin? Sunday morning. Ripped to the tits on caffeine, contemplating a day filled with propelled leather objects, zombies, and sociopaths. Can you have a better Sunday than one filled with football, Dexter, and The Walking Dead? Probably. But it’s a pretty fucking good one.

Throw in Jesus Christ killing Nazis, and we’re golden!

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

It’s Wednesday! And today is an especially wonderful Wednesday as it is the day before Thanksgiving! In an effort to prepare for our annual harvest festival of reprehensible origins, many of us have been given a half-day of work. Numbered among these fortunate folks, I have made the best use possible of my newfound free time: reading comics.

So what’s this week’s best release, the single issue that entertained and thrilled and intrigued more than any other? This honor belongs to THOR: The Mighty Avenger #6. If you’ve been following this series, you’re probably not surprised. In its short run, THOR: The Mighty Avenger has established itself as an incredibly well-rounded rounded book, providing humor and action and visuals that maintain a universal appeal. If I had to guess, I would say that this series will not only rack up a ton of Eisners but secure a dedicated readership for many moons.

What’s that? Oh. Well. Goddamn.

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Oh good lord, what the fuck is this bullshit. I thought I could comfortably throw my weight behind Zack Snyder to deliver a lighthearted, flashy Superman. Then I wake up today and everything doesn’t make sense and I found out he’s leaning towards making a 100% CGI Superman? What? What the fuck? Someone cockslap me, I want to wake up.

io9:

Movienewz is reporting that director Snyder, “has plans to rely heavily on CGI for the Man of Steel.” Which we can only imagine would mean Goode in the flesh for all of the Clark Kent shots, and some sort of Green Lantern-meets-Avatar CG nonsense when he’s kicking butt as the Man Of Steel.

Oh Jesus. Why would you do this? Aren’t we all burned out on Avatar-esque bullshit? Even assholes like me (listen, I fucking hate myself) who were totally wowie-kazowied over Avatar initially? Stop, don’t tell me anything else.

IGN:

We at IGN have been hearing talk of a CG-enhanced Superman as well. In fact, our sources claim that Snyder stopped by to meet with the effects folks behind Avatar recently to check out their techniques, which kind of/sort of suggests that he’s interested in Avatar-izing his Man of Steel.

I’m about to barf up the sixteen cans of Diet Mountain Dew I’ve pounded today. Maybe this shouldn’t surprise me. All of Snyder’s movies have relied on deep, thick, chunky amounts of CGI. Even Sucker Punch, which I’m sweating, is a computer generated wank fest. But to go 100% CGI for a Superman? Barf. Barfalicious. Fuck you, Frat Boy Rock. Haven’t you seen how assy the Green Lantern suit looks?

God dammit.

[Source: James Harren via Rampaged Reality]

Hello there, my name is Rendar Frankenstein and I am a real science fictional being. Living in the year 2010, I am endowed with a number of futuristic powers, including instantaneous global communication, access to digital television, and the ability to ward off disease with a pill. I have a portable computer and after I consume enough caffeine it extracts stories from me.

I feel sorry for the chronically nostalgic.

Monday Morning Commute.   With the workweek rearing its ugly head, we all need movies, books, music, comics and other distractions to stay strong. On Mondays I’m going to tell you about the various ways I’ll be spending my time in the upcoming week. Give my list a glance, then tell me what you’re using to curb the 9-5 blues.

–-

Listening / My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I have had a real up-and-down relationship with Kanye West. On the one hand, his first three efforts (The College Dropout, Late Registration, and Graduation) are three of my all-time favorite albums. But 2008’s 808s and Heartbreak was a truly depressing collection, as it not only demonstrated the fickle nature of inspiration but the public’s mindset of putting the cart before the horse. Then, of course, there is the fact that Mr. West has serious mental problems and is an arrogant bastard.

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The line art for ELECTRIC ANT, an adaptation of the PK Dick short story of the same name. EA is published by Marvel Comics and scripted by David Mack. This was one of those simple drawings– it literally took about three hours from start to finish. They’re not always this easy. I love drawing animals.

[pulphope/blogspot]

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Why is Batman successful? Is it because of a physique that pushes the limits of the human anatomy, an absolute mastery of sensory perception, an above-genius IQ, and billions of dollars? Yes.

And no.

In the internal logic of the comics-world, Batman truly succeeds not as a man but as an idea. More important than a single super-stud willing to risk his life in the name of crime-fighting is the very notion that such individuals exist. Criminals and evil-doers simply cannot run amok; doing so generates the very real possibility of being put in traction by a masked vigilante with emotional issues.

For the past seventy-one years, Batman has protected Gotham City. Now, the persona is being franchised globally as this week sees the premiere of Batman Incorporated.

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Boarding Spaceship Earth during the Reagan administration, my childhood occurred in the early 1990s – an era fortunate enough to be blessed with some wonderful pop culture. Mark-Paul Gosselaar set the standard for high school hipness. Macaulay Culkin was bustin’ our guts with displays of suburban terror. And Metallica was reaching the masses while still saying something worthwhile.

But the best pop culture phenomenon was undoubtedly the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In my day, these anthropomorphic creatures battled the forces of evil in cartoons, movies, comics, and video games – and it all kicked ass! We couldn’t get enough of these guys and their fun-loving ways.

Eventually, however, the TMNT love faded away. And this would have been fine. There’s nothing wrong with taking a backseat and being fawned upon by nostalgic nerds from time to time. But the problem is that the turtles were forced (no doubt against their will) to return to the spotlight in some straight-up bobo renditions.

The most offensive of all the later-day TMNT cash-grabs is Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation. Long story short, this late 90s (*shudder*) live action series hoped to revitalize the franchise by introducing a female turtle. Ugh. Check out the press video below:

The worst part of the video comes as Dan Clark, executive creative consultant, attempts to justify the inclusion of Venus:

She brings balance to the boys’ lives — she brings a feminine influence into the house.

Wait, what the fugg is this guy talking about? Doesn’t he understand a damn thing about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? My generation didn’t love the heroes in a half-shell because they used the martial arts as a means of attaining spiritual enlightenment or holistic balance. No, we loved the turtles because they didn’t embark upon such bogus journeys. Instead, they used karate to beat the shit out of bad guys and impress hot newscasters.

And what did they do when they weren’t beating ass? They ate pizza, went clubbing, and skateboarded. In other words, it was a total bro-fest.

And it was glorious.

Get out of my face with that Venus de Milo shit.

Rumors regarding the next Batman movie make my fucking world go round. Keeps me spinning, baby! Or, at least, they pass the time. A few moments of diversion. The latest rumor to vomit out from underneath some rock? Tom Hardy, who has already been cast in the movie, will be playing Batman villain Dr. Hugo Strange.

Forgive me, fellow geeks, I had no idea who the fuck that was. Thankfully, Slashfilm did me a solid.

Slashfilm:

The latest rumor is that Tom Hardy, who we know has been cast in the film, will be playing Dr. Hugo Strange, a possibility that has been discussed in the comments of almost every single one of our Batman posts. In the comics, Strange is a genius, mad scientist who becomes obsessed with Batman, learns his secret identity and ends up dressing up like him.

Well then. It would work for me. They’ve already undertaken the idea of exploring a Batman impostor, or the concept that his identity could be co-opted by someone else. And for what it’s worth, take a look at Tom Hardy from Bronson. Despite giving me a boner from his sheer sexiness in Inception, the dude can play creep well.

Very well.

I like this rumor   a lot.

Marvel’s announced the cancellation of Thor: The Mighty Avenger. And I have to say without any irony that this significantly bums me out.

Thor: The Mighty Avenger stole this site’s heart from the moment it was released. A lighthearted, beautiful rendition of the god of thunder and his experiences in good ole Asgard caught me off guard. Thor usually broods, Thor usually swings his hammer and pouts about Odin dismissing him from his realm. This was different. This was fun and sweet and it had heart. I was smitten. My brother was smitten.

The issues were self-contained romps that complimented each other in growing towards something greater.   While sites have reported that the title will get a satisfying conclusion in January, I can only wonder what they were building towards, had they been given time. I lamented last week about the deluge of Thor titles hitting the market. Something had to give. Unfortunately, it is my favorite Thor title on the market getting the axe. Maybe it was too kind, too witty, too innocent. Even with forthcoming titles getting nixed, Deadpool has ninety-three titles. Logan as a zillion. Skint and bawdy humor and et cetera, and et cetera.

Again, sadness.

I have to tip my cap to Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee. They sold me on a title in three or four pages of the initial run, and two creators who I had never heard of before became instant favorites. Crisp dialogue, tight scripts, gorgeous, ephermeal artwork. It all came together! Ah well, motherfucker. Nothing gold can last, right? Kudos to the two of you, for proving that there’s room for wonder amongst the smoldering and brooding in the Marvel universe.

If you haven’t checked out TMA yet, get the fuck on it. Your negligent ass killed it. The least you can do is enjoy the entire run, which, consider its only eight issues, is not only brilliant, but cost efficient.