The phantom hides in the pantry, waiting for the child to awake. Always in the pantry. Always behind the cookies. The child, bleary-eyed and delirious with dream-dust, makes his way into the snack cabinet. His belly, constantly satiated by parents who know not of discipline, grumbles. Obeying, the child opens the cupboard door and reaches in to retrieve the chocolate-chip delights.

SNATCH!

Snack time.
For the phantom.

–-

Welcome, my babies, to the Monday Morning Commute. This is the place where we detail our agendas for the upcoming week. Avoid the drudgery of existence. Beat boredom into a pulp. Repel the Snack-Phantom. Let’s fuggin’ do this.

–-

Listening / A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra

In case you haven’t noticed the fleet of minivans parked at the mall indefinitely or the neighbors who think their front lawns are reasonable facsimiles of Times Square, let me clue you in: it’s Christmas time. Or holiday time. Or whatever. From my completely secular standpoint, I kind of wish we could all give up the bogus religious connotations of the Winter Solstice Festivals and agree on something new. One holiday to rule the all.

Anyways, I use a few different activities to get into the holiday spirit. Spending time with friends. Pounding eggnog by the liter. And most importantly, listening to seasonal music. Over the years I’ve run the gauntlet when it comes to Christmas tunes, from Jimmy Buffet to Savatage. Hell, if you don’t give yourself a chance to try the kookier coldcuts from the Christmas music antipasto, you’re really doing yourself a disservice.

This year, however, I’m going the route of the traditionalist. I took it upon myself to download a vinyl rip of A Jolly Christmas from Frank Sinatra.

Holy Jesus-Birth, Santa, a digital transmission of a piece of plastic that was listened to by someone fifty-three years ago?!?! Somebody with hopes and dreams and a consciousness that has probably since faded back into the Universal Collective?!?

Yes, I even try to make my holiday activities about temporality-defiance.

Keep Reading »

Visual designer Steve Johnson dropped these Superman designs on his Facebook claiming they were from a Bryan Singer Superman movie that never came to be, or a sequel that never materialized. But over at Comics Alliance, they postulate that these sons a bitches were from a J.J. Abrams movie that never got underway, since they bare the title “Flyby” which apparently he was working under.

I like me some J.J. Abrams. Even more than that, I dislike me some Superman Returns by Bryan Singer. Oh, if only Abrams got a shot. Or maybe the script sucked, I never saw it.

I don’t know. All I do know is that these costumes are way better than the low-riding ass clown outfit Singer had Routh wear. And they’re a zillion times better than the Tim Burton conjured abortions for his flick that never came about.

Hit the jump for the designs.

Keep Reading »

[Enlarge.]

..Sort of? Psyche! Total tabloid title there. But yeah, this is a look at Emma Stone with blond hair. Stone, a natural blond is known for rocking a firey mane. But with Stacy being an Aryan posterchild, she took it back to her roots. Literally! LOL, I’m a comedian. Puns ahoy!

But seriously, she looks fucking gorgeous. And very Gwen Stacy. I’m sold, super sold. I was sold before, and now I’m doubling-down. A double order of yes.

Hit the jump for more pictures of her loving ridiculously Gwen Stacy-esque.

Keep Reading »

Last month the rumor dropped that the villain for The Dark Knight Rises was going to be Dr. Hugo Strange. The good doctor would be played by Tom Hardy, who could get his Bronson on and act like a truly scary motherfucker. Today those rumor got a be thicker. A bit juicier. A bit more substantial. Something meaty for you to suck on.

In other words, it may have been confirmed.

Keep Reading »

There’s something pretty about the simplicity of Francesco Francavilla’s Superman over at Comic Twart. Not surprising, since Francavilla’s art is, in general, very easy on the eyes.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

When I started reading comics in the early 1990s, I was diehard fan of the X-Men. Was it because of the riveting dichotomy of Charles Xavier and Magneto, analogues for the contrasting perspectives of civil rights activists Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X? Or was it the fact that the mutants of the Marvel Universe represented the repressed others of society, forced to live under conditions not dissimilar to our own rampant homophobia? Or could it be the introduction of new characters like Gambit?

Fugg that noise, bub. I loved the X-Men because of Wolverine.

Even as a four-year in ratty sweatpants and a mustard-stained B.U.M. shirt, I understood the wonder of Weapon X. He’s a mysterious, beer-guzzlin’ Canadian who beats ass as he sees fit but secretly has a heart of gold. His costume is bright yellow and blue, with some seriously sick earflaps. And if you ever need someone to clear out a room of bad-guys, just cheese him off enough and let him do his thing.

Unfortunately, I feel as though Wolverine’s become a bit watered down over the last few years. In the comics world, Logan’s been given a lame-ass son and an unnecessary origin. In the larger world of pop culture, a Wolverine received a cash-grab origins flick. The truly great additions to this Canuck’s mythos have been few and far between.

But I think Wolverine: The Best There Is gives the character his just due.

Keep Reading »

Well, we saw this shit coming, didn’t we? I always imagined that Nolan would only be up for three Batman flicks. He’d complete the storyline he wanted to tell, throw the deuces up to everyone, and ride off into the sunset.   This idea of mine was only strengthened by a recent report that Nolan told Bale he’d be like totally done playing Bruce Wayne after the next flick. And then, news came out today where Nolan up and confirmed it.

EW via Slashfilm:

I feel very glad that I’m doing another Batman film. I think it would have been daunting to sit down and write an original script after Inception. I love working within the realm and rules of our Batman world. It’s kind of nice to have someplace to go that I’m super-excited about.

I must say that I’m glad – I’m very, very glad – to be embarking on the last chapter of our Batman saga without any sense of obligation or duty to the studio. They did very well with Inception. So I’m able to go into finishing our story in a very enthusiastic way.

I’m happy as hell with this news. It gives Nolan and the cast to go out in a blaze of glory in their final installment. Wrap everything up, leave their stamp on the universe, and then laugh as they watch other people try and top them. Sure, the franchise ain’t going to die. Way too much money. And maybe Nolan would even have made a better fourth movie than whoever comes next. But as Rendarbones Frankenpepsi says, perhaps there’s something to going out on top. Riding off into the sunset.

Thoughts? Impressions? Hit the comments box.

You know, lately I’ve been pretty down on Mark Millar. As one of my longtime favorite writers, I hold the dude to a certain set of standards. Perhaps unfairly.   Recently the dude hasn’t come anywhere near these standards. In place of the dude I used to love has come a plethora of sensationalist slop, and hardcore hyping of his own wares. Maybe the dude is spread so thin, on so many projects, that it makes sense that he’s cranking out scripts while he’s cranking out craps on the toilet. Pure speculation on my part.

But say what I will, there’s no denying that the dude loves comic books. And so with that in mind, I have to get behind him and be stoked at his announcement of the Kapow! Comic-Con in London. Now, I don’t live in the Old World. Firmly entrenched in the Newest of Englands. But the idea of taking the glitz and glamor of San Diego Comic-Con and stapling it into the heart of a different continent? Awesome. It’s about time you guys got some love over there. The shit is going down at the London Business Design Centre from April 9-10 in 2011. Oh, Centre! We really are in England!

Comics Alliance Drops Some Deets:

Name-checked in the video announcement — which also includes filmed endorsements from Dave Gibbons, Frank Quitely and Leinil Francis Yu — as attendees are Andy Diggle, Jock, Steve Dillon, Duncan Fregredo, Kevin O’Niel, Adi Granov, Pat Mills, Paul Cornell, David Hine, Brendan McCarthy, Simon Furman, John Romita, Jr., David Lloyd, Olivier Coipel, Kieron Gillen, Bryan Hitch, John McCrea, among others. Representatives from the film industry are to be announced February 14.

Millar, a master of the hard sell, made a point of saying that Kapow! is ideally scheduled to take advantage of 2011 and 2012’s motion picture lineups, which are heavy with comic book and genre movies including Thor, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Dredd, a Star Trek sequel and a Spider-Man reboot. The convention will be held in April, giving promoters a chance to show their wares to a European audience about two months before Comic-Con in San Diego.

It’s exciting! I don’t know why, but I’m excited. I won’t get anywhere near it. Just the idea of spreading the virulent comic book convention strain to another continent! All run in horror as all of us comic book nerds come out of the wood work, spreading our dorkery and esoteric references!

Well done, Mr. Mark Millar.

Hit the jump for the announcement video.

Keep Reading »

Those two fiendish goblins Boredom and Apathy are running amok, hoping to infiltrate the brain-bone of any unsuspecting humanoid. In the current system, the one that drags us down and demands we work far too long for far too little of a reward, they are highly successful. After all, Bordeom and Apathy sit outside of offices and follow workers home, striking just as TV-dinners are microwaved. But there is a refuge, a small oasis in the desert of the modern condition. And you know what?

You’ve arrived.

Welcome, my babies, to the Monday Morning Commute. This is the place where we share our ideas about the upcoming week. Here, we stave off malaise and depression and lack of enthusiasm! Join me!

–-

Mourning / Irvin Kershner

Irvin Kerschner is dead. You know what that means, don’t you? That’s right, the last director to helm an amazing Star Wars flick is no longer a passenger on Spaceship Earth. The Empire Strikes Back isn’t just a credible sequel or a fantastic piece of science fiction, it’s one of the most affective stories I’ve ever experienced.

What makes the movie magical isn’t the mind-blowing special effects or the incredible battles – although they are appreciated – it’s the abundance of relatable elements of humanity. Friends are torn apart. Lovers seek passionate infernos, only to have complications extinguish the embers. An individual pushes himself to the limits of his capabilities, only to undermine his progress by leaving early. Hell, there’s even a suave black dude with a cape.

I have no doubt in my mind that without Irvin Kershner, The Empire Strikes Back would not be the masterpiece we know it as today. Hopefully he’s chilling in Heaven blue-ghost style, chatting it up with Richard Marquand. Hell, maybe they’ll even take it upon themselves to haunt Lucas on Christmas Eve, showing him the error of his ways.

Keep Reading »

Anyone who insists that the Christmas season is all about Jesus Christ and his magical mystery tour is going to need to sit out of this one. You see, it’s been stolen! By secularists, agnostics like myself, and apparently awesome witches like Alan Moore. You may know Moore as the genius behind Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Swamp Thing and a myriad of miscellany too long to type.

Alan Moore is also an anarchist, and witch. But that isn’t stopping him from seizing the Christmas spirit. And casting a spell of totally fucking awesome giving.

Comics Alliance:

Alan Moore has made news by making a generous Christmastime donation to the needy in his hometown of Northampton, England. The co-creator of such memorable graphic novels as Watchmen and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen will make a gift of 300 Christmas baskets (valued at £3,000) in December.

Mince pies, coffee, sugar, puddings and canned food will be among the items contained in Moore’s gift baskets, according to the Northampton Chronicle. The package will be made of re-usable cloth bags provided by Northampton’s own Co-op supermarket.

Fucking awesome. Take that! Alan Moore is a perfect candidate for Santa Claus. He has an amazing beard. He has obviously magical powers. What does he have to say about his obvious position as the real-life Santa Claus?

“This particular issue is dear to my heart as it’s the area I grew up in and it is one of the most deprived areas in the whole country,” said Moore. “Those people who are living in sheltered housing and those going to the Salvation Army, who often don’t have homes, are living in very difficult circumstances and I think that any sign that they have been remembered and not forgotten is going to mean something to them.”

Alan Moore is my kind of Santa. I’ve always wanted a Santa that penned creepy Lovecraftian gangbangs with mythical creatures like he did in Neocomicon #2. But more than that, Moore is my sort of dude. Despite not being one with the Jesus Guy, he’s leveraging the spirit of the season to do something solid for people in need. So next time someone gives me shit for being in the spirit of Christmas, or rocking a tree and having a giving attitude despite being an agnostic, I’m sending them in Uncle Alan’s direction.

He’ll done straighten it out.