Watching the Thor trailer today prior to The Fighter got my balls tingling a bit more for the flick. Imma level with you: I would arm wrestle my girlfriend for a chance at Chris Hemsworth. And I’d fight dirty. Dropping elbows, spin-kicks. Eye gouges. A true hardcore arm wrestling match.

Well, when I got home, I found out that Hawkeye is totally making a cameo in Thor. Word? According to Slashfilm, “The Wrap says that Jeremy Renner will appear in Thor as Hawkeye. In some ways this isn’t new, because Jeremy Renner himself mentioned last year that he expected Hawkeye to show up in Thor.”

Well then. I don’t really know how Hawkeye fits into the Thor movie, but I’m not sure Marvel gives a fuck. They’ve been shoehorning the various Marvel characters into other titles since what, the original Iron Man? Yo Marvel. We get it. It’s an interconnected universe. Seriously. We’re nodding our head. Because we get it.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

I’m not going to lie: I’m blasting out this review as fast as possible, pausing not for revision. Grammar is out the window. Structure can kiss my bung. And I’m not even sure whether the content is going to be coherent.

But it’s Christmas Eve and I have to travel about, sharing good tidings and celebrating life. You need to do the same, I’m sure. So let’s cut the foreplay and just get to the deed.

The comic of choice for this week is Superior #3 by Mark Millar and Leinil Yu. This funnybook, still in its incipient stage, is essentially a reimagined, superheroic rendition of Big: Simon Pooni is a normal kid until multiple sclerosis wreaks terrible havoc on his body. Visited by a space-monkey in the middle of the night, Simon wishes that he could become Superior, the star of his favorite superhero film series (and a clever Superman analogue). Waking up as Superior, Simon flees to his best friend Chris’ house, and the pair decide that Simon owes it to himself to give the comic book lifestyle a chance.

The third issue of Superior sees Mark Millar giving artist Leinil Yu a script he can run train on. There’s nothing tricky about this pitch, Millar underhands a fat whopping meatball that Yu smashes into oblivion. Yu gives us wonderful, breathtaking images of the ridiculous action we’ve come to expect from Millar: space stations crash-landing in metropolitan areas, train-wrecks, submarines being dragged out of the water and so on. Moreover, Millar’s introduction of reporter Madeline Knox and his setting of action at a beach gives Yu an excuse to try his hand at documenting the female form. While I usually have some major issues with gratuitous cleavage shots and impossible curves, I can see why mouthbreathing fanboys might hide a copy of this book under their mattresses.

From start to finish, Superior #3 fills every page with over-the-top action sequences. Seriously, I can see see Yu being used as a visual consultant for Hollywood’s popcorn adventures. Visually, this comic won’t disappoint.

While Superior‘s plot doesn’t advance too much in this issue, enough happens to make it worthwhile. As Madeline Knox (the aforementioned reporter) narrates from the future, we realize that this series is operating as a flashback. We can also infer that some major shit is going to go down if Knox is taking the time to reflect on the events. We are also teased with the idea that Ormon, the wish-granting space-monkey, may not be as benevolent as originally thought. Simon, wondering aloud, asks Chris how he came to get his powers:

Well, I prayed every night that my multiple sclerosis would go away and Mom was always praying that America would get fixed again too.

So what if that magic wish was the answer to both our prayers? What if Ormon was an angel?

Did he turn me into a superhero because America really needed one right now?

With such a productive day under Simon’s belt, the reader is left feeling optimistic. But then the page is turned, and we’re left with Ormon and his troubling thoughts:

An angel? That’s hilarious.

I’m afraid I’m actually quite the opposite.

Oh a shit. A demon? A goblin, a ghoul, a zombie with no conscience? Whatever he is, he lost about seven cute points. Muthafuggah.

Maybe I’m getting a bit saccharine in my old age, but I’m also on board with Superior because of its protagonist’s more Earthly woes. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than a sick kid, wishing that he could just be normal. That shit straight-up sucks. But how awesome is the feeling of seeing that same ailing child given the opportunity to feel good?

I’d say it’s a superior feeling.

Completely sensationalist title! Ha! I got you! And I just stole your cookie, what the fuck are you going to do? But no seriously. Apparently Emma Stone was on Jay Leno last night, and she dropped the claim that she’s going to be around for a few web-slinging flicks. When Jay asked how long she’ll be keeping her blond hair, she responded “There’s a few Spidermen, so I may have to keep it for a couple of years.”

Wut!

Every Spider-Man dude knows that Gwen bites the fucking bullet hard. It’s one of the multitude of reasons that Parker is a whiny bitch. But! Could they be changing something? Is Gwen going to live? Sure, her surviving one film doesn’t mean she isn’t going to die eventually. However, let’s dare to dream. I’d be very excited if they decided to keep Gwen as Parker’s main squeeze.

Not only have we done the whole courting of Mary Jane, but I’m going to hit you guys with something: I fucking hate Mary Jane. Yeah, I know she symbolizes the impossibility that the average nerd can’t attain. What is more of an accomplishment than the dweeb acquiring the supermodel who gets him?

Not much.

But I’ve always preferred Stacy to MJ, and if this means she’ll be keeping a pulse for the foreseeable future, then good.

Today at a press conference hosted at Midtown Comics in New York City, Marvel unveiled their next event. Titled Fear Itself,   the event is going to be broken into a seven issue miniseries, starting in April. The creative gurus behind it? Matt Fraction and Stuart Immonen. Yeah kid, now we’re playing with power. I’ve waited a long time for Fraction to get dealt an event, and it seems like I’m getting a Christmas gift early. Booyah! And Stuart Immonen? I’ve dug his artwork since finding him on Ellis’ Nextwave.

The Premise!
The story itself revolves around eight characters that Fraction plans on putting up against the God of Fear. This will also tie into some “secret at the heart of the Marvel Universe that had been hidden for centuries. Its revealing will ‘unleash something unspeakable, something that has been clamped down for centuries that will flourish and cast its shadow across the world.'” What would an event be without some sort of hidden secret or grand reveal?

Nothing!

If you want to enjoy events, you have to accept the tropes. I do.

Hit the jump for a Fraction and Quesada spouting off on the event, as well as some gorgeous promo artwork.

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For months Hickman’s excellent Fantastic Four has been building up to what I’ve assumed is a death to one of the members of the F4. So what happens to them after the Countdown to Casualty hits? It seems a beginning.

Issue one though? Is it a new monthly? Are they rebooting the numbering of F4? I must know! I must! Know!

My ridiculous excitement over this vague teaser is a testament to Hickman’s run on F4. His ability to bring wonder back into the overly status-quo and rote Marvel universe through intergalactic adventures has me sweating the comic book every month. In a world where everything seems beaten to death, and tropes ground into paste, he has managed to make the Marvel Universe feel enormous. There’s potential behind every door, universes to explore. Whatever the fuck this is, I want in on it.

Via.

Capcom dropped the cinematic trailer for MvC3 today, and good lord is it splooge. Through the means of some nefarious vial, they’re tying the two worlds together, and I wonder just what the fuck it means. Is it silly? Of course it but. But the trailer is an assload of Marvel and Capcom villains thrashing each other. If you can’t get down to Sir Arthur and the Hulk rocking out side by side, you’re fucking invalid man. Neg value.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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The Tim Burton Superman Disco Boogie Groove Suit fiasco continues to amaze. We’ve seen the pictures. Now do you want to see it in motion? Of course you do. Watch in horror as it crackles, pops, and shimmies its way to electro-vomitcore hell.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Mike Del Mundo via Rampaged Reality.

It’s been a busy day for Jon Favreau, and Iron Man 3. First it was rumored that Favreau wasn’t going to direct it. Then it was confirmed. And now we have, courtesy of Slashfilm and the LA Times the reason behind his departure.

In an interview with Los Angeles Times writer Geoff Boucher, Favreau said the rumored reasons why he’s leaving Iron Man, such as money issues or lack of cohesiveness, where inaccurate. He’s still a producer on The Avengers and remains friendly with Marvel main man Kevin Feige. His main reason for leaving was to “find something that lights a fire” inside of him and also something that will “blow people away, which is easier to do with a project that isn’t loaded with built-in expectations.” So, basically, he wants some new toys to play with. He thinks of the departure as more of a “graduation” rather than “divorce.”

Well then. Hard to blame the guy, isn’t it? If he was genuinely burnt out on the characters and would have been mailing in a third movie, I’m glad it oped out of it. If you’re reticent to agree with me, check out Spider-Man 3. It’s mind-blowing how awful a movie can be when a director no longer has the freedom he wants, or the passion for the characters. I forgive you, Sam Raimi.

So Favreau is gone. Wonder who is going to step in. Thoughts?

Update: Deadline confirms Favreau’s departure. Balls.

—-

Thar be reports pouring out that Jon Favreau isn’t going to direct Iron Man 3. This isn’t an enormous surprise. Both Favreau and Downey Jr. didn’t like the Iron Man 2 script, and felt it was rushed out. As well, Marvel has been developing a reputation for being cheap as fuck, and Favreau may have been/may be anticipating getting low balled. And now there are reports that he has informed Marvel that he shan’t be returning for the third movie.

But still, fucking shit. Favreau’s a talented son of a bitch, and he clearly gets Iron Man.

Over at Slashfilm, they point out that Favreau was even recently wavering on the topic:

Vulture first reported the news of Favreau’s apparently (sic) departure from the Iron Man franchise. He spoke about the third film at length just last week and you can read our report here. The video, from MTV, is below and in it, you’ll hear Favreau talking about his uncertainty concerning Iron Man 3.

Slash then links to a transcript of said conversation:

Kevin Feige, who’s been involved with superhero movies with Marvel movies since the X-Men films, is very aware of his path and how to weave [things together], so in theory, ‘Iron Man 3? is going to be a sequel or continuation of ‘Thor,’ ‘Hulk,’ ‘Captain America’ and ‘Avengers’… This whole world… I have no idea what it is. I don’t think they do either, from conversations I’ve had with those guys.

Balls. I’m getting frustrated with Marvel’s insistence on lowballing directors and rushing bullshit out. When you have a winning director, let them do their own thing with the franchise. Trust me. Maybe Iron Man 2 would have been more than decent but forgettable if Favreau had been able to work at his own speed.

Ask DC about it? Clearly letting Nolan rock out for a bit and then return invigorated to a franchise has worked.