#The Faux Bot

Flashback to 1986 with Deadlight

I’ve seen so much of the zombie apocalypse that I now feel suitably numb to the whole scenario; numb enough, at least, to be able to deal with it calmly and with a level of effortless cool, should it actually come to pass. Appropriately enough, it seems that Deadlight’s ‘hero’ – Randal Wayne- has had just about enough of the undead, too. He stumbles through the game with a gruff bravado and a longing for his possibly-dead-by-now wife: barely even batting an eyelid to the swathes of zombies that surround him. Apathy, it seems, is infectious.

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Press Start: Gilbert gripes and arcade cabinet wipes

Summer is traditionally not a great time for the gaming industry; it’s quiet, a little too quiet…if you know what I mean. It’s fine, though; I understand; those hard working men and women of the gaming industry spend the majority of their time chained to desks in dank dungeon-like offices, dreaming of the world beyond their cubicle. Perhaps I’ve read JPod too many times, but I feel like those kids deserve a break. That said, writing this column sure isn’t easy when the entire industry decides to take a break from making much of anything happen. Still, we shall prevail. Until winter: courage.

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Press Start: Death, Duke and Shagging

Welcome back to Press Start: a column that used to be written by Caffeine Powered. Whilst he battles his crippling addiction to bath salts I’ve agreed to fill in, so without further ado; I present you with five individual, shrink-wrapped nuggets of gaming news all prepped and ready for your consumption.

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Press Start: to continue

Dear friends. It is with a heavy heart that I write this, my first guest spot on Press Start! Many of you will remember our beloved Caffeine Powered as the articulate, junk grabbing slop enthusiast that regaled us with tales from the very frontiers of video game development and culture. I want you to hold on to that memory as tightly as you can. The last time I saw him – barely covering his modesty with tattered rags, excitedly drawing my attention to his bedroom walls: hosting his life’s work rendered in fecal matter – he told me that I needed to resurrect this information behemoth. I willingly accepted. And promptly left the premises.

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Olde English and Baha Men-quoting Goblins will attempt to kill you in Dragon’s Dogma

Appearances can be deceptive. Take Dragon’s Dogma, for instance. On the surface, it seems like an ill-informed attempt at a Western RPG designed in the East. Look a little deeper, however, and you’ll find that it brings some well-disguised originality and highlights the failings of our most recent, beloved RPG experiences.

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FEZ: Perspective-shift yourself back to childhood

Being a game steeped in perspective puzzles, hidden codes, Escher-like architecture and a distinct lack of anything resembling sign-posting: Fez is not short on a challenge or two. However, after exploring its shifting dimensions and succumbing to its intoxicating charms I have found that the most difficult challenge it poses is in asking you to define your experience. It’s difficult to be concise about a game that is so sprawling and labyrinthine. Watch me as I fail.

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Act Your Age With Capcom Retro Collections

Face it: you’re old. That’s what I tell myself as I stare into the abyss that is my ever-increasing forehead. As the hair recedes, all that is left is pale, shiny flesh that serves only to reflect past glories and hide regret within the ever-deepening recesses. This week sees two ‘retro’ collection releases from Capcom appearing on our shelves. The games I grew up with are now fit for re-packaging and retro bumper packs. It’s all getting too real. Still, it’s hard to feel sorry for myself when I’m smashing the collective face of the Mad Gear Gang with Mike Haggar’s iron pipe of justice (trademark pending).

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Bad Guys win and Heroes fall in Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

The ferocity with which some fans yearn for ‘traditional’ survival horror from the Resident Evil series often blinds us to just how diverse a series it has managed to become. Throughout its history we have seen it shift to a more contemporary, action-centric pace with Resident Evil 5, have seen it re-interpreted as a lightgun shooter with Darkside Chronicles and now, we see Operation Raccoon City recalling the often forgotten co-op experience of Resident Evil: Outbreak. At first, the idea of setting a team-based, 3rd person tactical shooter within the Resident Evil universe may seem a little jarring, but when you consider the breadth of the series so far, it doesn’t seem that odd after all.

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‘STREET FIGHTER X TEKKEN’ REVIEW: SH*T TALKING EVOLVES

Capcom and Namco join forces and pit their premier beat-em-up characters against each other with Street Fighter X Tekken: a tag team brawler that defies expectations and forges its own distinct personality. As I write this review I find myself in the deepest, darkest recesses of an almighty hangover. For you see: Street Fighter X Tekken is not a game best experienced alone, but rather in the company of your friends. To adequately write this review I had to experience what kind of beer-fueled abuse it spawned; the characteristic cries of bullshit, shenanigans and cheapness. After all, what’s a beat —em-up without the trash-talk?

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Review: Binary Domain

It’s difficult to review Binary Domain without getting caught up in the history of third-person cover shooters and how they are typically defined by western developers. Just for you though, I’ll refrain. After all, why would you want to hear my ramblings over how lackluster Gears of War 3 was, or how Quantum Theory is one of the worst games ever spawned from Satan’s shitty asshole? All you need to know is that Binary Domain is one of the most surprisingly entertaining and rewarding games I’ve played in years.

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