#Rendar Frankenstein
Friday Brew Review – iniquity (Imperial Black Ale)
It’s my pleasure to inform the faithful OL readership that the FRIDAY BREW REVIEW has been generating a lot more traffic lately. Some of these new visitors may be arriving via word-of-mouth, the pleasant words you share about a weekly-drunkard’s semi-coherent review acting as safe passage. Others are being transported here by means of Internetdimensional-portals, such as that provided by the (fabulous) Reddit beer community. And still others, well, I suspect they’re here because it was the closest place they could find after escaping that hitchhiker who promised a blowjob but offered only a knife-wound. How rude.
No matter how you’ve arrived – welcome.
Before we go any further, baby, allow me to offer a warning to the uninitiated: what follows is certainly a beer review. But the Friday Brew Review is also part diatribe, short story, philosophical meandering, science fiction journey, and drunken affirmation.
Please proceed without caution.
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DEFEAT. 040 – Hours Before a Public Suicide
[DEFEAT. is a science fiction/coming-of-death/war epic novella, released in weekly episodes. at this point, you’ve either read every installment (unlikely) or you’re waiting for the movie (also unlikely). if nothing else, follow the link and check out Brian Galiano’s amazing art. blahblahblah!]
“Margie, wake up!”
The rotund younger sister ignored the request, turning over and darting her head under a pillow. She saw that the sun was far from rising and knew the schoolbell wouldn’t be ringing for hours. Her older sister probably just wanted to get something off her chest.
“C’mon, I want to talk to you.” This time, Vanessa coupled her appeal with a gentle swinging of a pillow. She had succeeded.
“Great, now you’ve done it! I’m officially awake!” Margie feigned supreme aggravation, shaking a fist in her older sister’s face and putting on her best scowl. But her natural joviality didn’t allow for such impressions to persist and she ended up chuckling, amused by her own antics.
“Seriously though,” Margie began after looking at the clock, “it’s just after three in the morning — what do you want?”
Vanessa plopped onto the bed. “I’m in love.”
“Oh, spare me!”
“I am.”
“With that Daryl boy?”
“He’s no boy.”
Margie halted her intended conversation. “Wait — what does that mean?”
The elder, more beautiful sister did her best to prevent the blood from flowing into her face. She failed. Blushing, she offered her explanation, “Well let’s just say he’s no boy and I’m no longer just a girl with monthly Womanly Responsibilities. I’m a full-fledged woman.”
Margie’s jaw nearly hit her potbelly. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You…you let that dude bone you?”
Monday Morning Commute: Scream Sayonara!
Ahoy! Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – this is the spot where I share the bits of entertainment detritus that I’ll be rolling in over the course of the next few days! Sometimes it’s neat and tidy. Other times, it’s gross and ewh. In either case, after you stomp through my mind-muck, it’s your duty to hit up the comments section and detail what you’ll be up to.
Friday Brew Review – Harpoon Cider
Rummaging through the Fourth of July liquid leftovers, I came across a couple bottles of Harpoon Cider. Even though my aversion to IPAs has led me to generally steer clear of Harpoon, my well-documented affinity for cider is mighty powerful. And so I’ve found myself yet again reliving a subverted childhood memory, pounding apple-drank and catching a buzz.
Images & Words – Jonah Hex #69
[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]
As of late, it seems that all comics-related discussions are concerned with the crumbling state of the industry. Headlines of doom and gloom are absolutely proliferating, inspiring fear in otherwise satisfied fanboys. DC REBOOT BLAMED FOR NERD SUICIDE! MARVEL MEGA-EVENT BANKRUPTS SINGLE FATHER OF FOUR! DIGITAL SALES THREATEN RETAILERS’ BUSINESS!
In the midst of all this bullshit, it’s easy to forget that worthwhile comics are being released every damn week.
And the newest issue of Jonah Hex is a necessary reminder of just how sick comic books can be.
Monday Morning Commute: Red, White, and Nerd
The MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE is usually the spot where I share what I’ll be doing for entertainment in the following week. However, since today’s the Fourth of July I’ve got way too many beers, burgers, and illegal fireworks to enjoy. So in place a normal post, I’ve lazily found a bunch of videos that make me feel something about being American.
Enter hyperspace to see America at its arguably most American!
Face of a Franchise: The Batman!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
During my time as a passenger aboard Spaceship Earth, six live-action Batman films have been produced. Spanning across nineteen years, these movies have seen four different actors wearing the cowl, each offering their own take on the Dark Knight. As viewers, we’ve been incredibly privileged to see such different interpretations of a classic superhero.
But alas, only two of these thespians’ performances are worthy enough to engage in a fight to the death.
Friday Brew Review – Brooklyn Summer Ale
Is it possible for something to be excellent and overrated?
I certainly think so. Even those entities worthy of high honors, fully deserving of the piling-on of accolades, can deified beyond reason. In the pop cultural realm, the perfect example is Michael Jackson – the dude could certainly sing and dance, but what type of person was he? Does having the sickest of moves overshadow the consequences of being the a legitimately sick person? I’m inclined to say “No.”
But let’s steer away from the potentially-pedophilic pop icons of yesteryear. Instead, we can head to a more palatable subject. To be precise, we’ll gravitate towards the most palatable of all subjects.
Beer.
Living in Greater Boston, I’ve fully embraced my role as an acolyte of Sam Adams. These muthafuggahs are Skywalker-honorable, leading the way as the largest American-owned brewery while still putting out craft-quality products. As such, I’m often confused as to whether my allegiance stems from an insular perspective or an objective assessment. I hope it’s more of the latter, but fear it may bit a bit of the former.
What assuages this fear, however, is the fact that I don’t lose my mind over the Samuel Adams Summer Ale. While I certainly think it’s a wonderful drink, many of my comrades sing it praises otherwise reserved for the Elysian Fields. Hell, I’ve even known some beer-drankers who stock up on Sam Summer while it’s available so that they can continue drinking it until the November expiration date. Again, I like it, but I don’t even think it’s Sam Adams’ best seasonal (if you’re wondering – that’d be Octoberfest).
Consequently, today’s Friday Brew Review is dedicated to stepping outside of comfort zones. Rather than imbibing a beer that I believe is excellent and overrated, I’ve opted to give another potable a chance. Today is all about Brooklyn Summer Ale.
DEFEAT. 039 – true believers
Daryl’s resolve had been fully reinstalled by Vanessa, the love of his life. He now had a force fortifying him, filling the few remaining empty spots of his soul with purpose. With an emotional connection expressed physically, one is far less vulnerable to the wounds that Life so desperately tries to inflict with His rapier.
That is, of course, unless heartbreak is involved. For as rewarding as is the ascent to the top of the mountain, the tumbling downward is doubly painful. Given enough time, even the most sincere relationships can deteriorate, either losing their vitality or compromising until all that remains is a shadow.
And the shade is fine. Unless you’ve walked in the sunlight.
MASTODON – DEATHBOUND!
The fine folks at Adult Swim have used an unreleased track from Mastodon’s Crack the Skye as the soundtrack for one of the best videos I’ve seen in a long time. You’re guaranteed to love it – unless, of course, you don’t like puppets, gunshots, monsters, UFOs, robots, explosions, or metal.
And if that’s the case, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
