[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

The Hulk is a pretty easy character to support. I mean, seriously, what’s not to love? Is it the fact that the dude is a research scientist hoping to improve the state of the world? Could it be the tremendous lengths he goes to while trying to win over the love of his life? Maybe it’s his incredible aversion to violence, the reticent willingness to engage in fisticuffs only as an absolute last resort?

Or perhaps it’s the fact that when the Hulk gets pissed off and push comes to shove, he fucking smashes.

Despite the general consensus about big green bastard’s appeal, a debate arises when discussing those depictions outside of the paneled page. Old school Banner-believers may cite the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno tagteam from The Incredible Hulk series as being the definitive portrayal. On the other hand, the more rabid fanboy-augurs amongst us are already claiming that the best Hulk-performance will be found in Mark Ruffalo. There’s no denyin’ that all three of these actors deserve recognition for their contributions to the superheroic Jekyll & Hyde mythos.

But when it comes to live-action dramatizations of the triple threat match between Banner’s id, ego, and super-ego, two actors stand above the rest.

In 2003’s Hulk,   Eric Bana used his supreme thespian skills to conjure up an image of a brutish, mentally-deficient being with enormous muscles. And that was just his take on Banner! Zing! Seriously though, the Aussie-actor guides the audience through a vision of the Hulk that must navigate his way through a whole mess of psychological pitfalls, including inferiority issues, Oedipal complexes, and the volatility of suppressed rage. Bana paints a portrait of the green goliath that uses both the broad strokes of intense violence as well as the subtle strokes of a shattered psyche.

Five years later, Edward Norton got the chance to bring the breaker of worlds to life in The Incredible Hulk. Somewhere in between a sequel and a reboot, this film tries to give fans exactly what they love about the character. Banner’s on the run, Betty Ross is lookin’ dope as hell, Thunderbolt Ross is bein’ a pain in the proverbial emerald ass, and there’s another monster for the Hulk to fight. Eddie Norton fit particularly well, as he looked the part of the scrawny science nerd but carried himself with the intensity of a man trying to iron out emotional wrinkles of the most brutal sort. Additionally, most fans agree that this second feature-length attempted was more successful than the first…but how much of that can be attributed to Norton?

This is a tricky one. Australia vs. America. Nero vs. The Narrator.

So who’s the best Hulk? Eric Bana or Edward Norton?

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To obtain my undergraduate degree, I attended a liberal arts school in Boston. As such, it was expected that I not only study the things that I’m interested in and want to make a career out of, but a bunch of other random shit as well. While initially seeming like a bad idea, it actually gave me the opportunity to learn some things that I never would’ve otherwise.

During one especially boring semester, I decided to take Computer Hacking 1101: Introduction to 1337 Systems. Although the class wasn’t applicable to anything I wanted to do in the long-term, I learned some cool tricks for stealing government information, manipulating my income tax returns, and contacting Morpheus. But the best thing I learned was how to hack into the SECRET FILES of my favorite companies.

What I now present is an actual document I obtained while hacking away at the servers over at DC Comics. From what I can tell, it is an actual promo poster that is going to be used for what could be the most sensational limited series of all time.

I mean, what a concept! What a creative team! Fuck, just check it out for yourself!

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For your sake, I hope you never have to live life as I do – in the mindset of a crotchety old man.

Sometimes, when I’m especially tired or caffeine-deprived, I can’t help but see change as anything but a pain in the ass. I mean, if you’ve been frequenting Omega-Level regularly, you’ll have noticed a number of recent additions. I should be excited. Really. Instead, I find myself grumbling under my breath, waxing nostalgic for the glory days of OL that never existed.

I mean, why shouldn’t I be excited about all the advertisements on the site? Not only do I get to share my thoughts with the world, but I get to help hawk products such as Norwich University, Dragons of Atlantis, and eFax!

Get `em while they’re hot, suckahs!

Moreover, this site is now rife with all sorts of strange characters! There’re sneaks amongst us, vaginas sliding into the fold, and probably a couple of freaks fiendin’ for another teleportation rape-dream! It’s a veritable gathering!

Okay – time to take an Alka Seltzer and plow through this post.

Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! You don’t even have to be a cantankerous bastard like me to know that the workweek sucks. As such, I’m going to show you some of the bits of entertainment I’ll be using to survive until the weekend. Your task is to hit up the comments and show off the various ways you’ll be ignoring the overwhelming responsibilities of real life.

Pull your damn pants up and let’s do this!

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I once spent an entire afternoon hanging out with Boba Fett. He showed me around Slave I, taught me how to use a jetpack, and even let me tag along when he met some of his scummy friends for a drink. It was pretty much the best Saturday of my life.

Actually, that’s a lie. I didn’t get to do any of that shit. I was just trying to impress you.

But, what I did get to do this Saturday afternoon was spend some time with a six-pack of Black Jack Porter from the Left Hand Brewing Company. C’mon, let me apologize for telling tall tales by describing this beer to you! Seriously, check out my brew review! I promise it’ll be a halfway decent read!

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In my younger and more volatile years, I tried really hard to be smart. I read intelligent stuff, used big words, and analyzed movies more than I watched them. Hey, we all make mistakes. Anyways, per the requirements of a media theory class, I once found myself reading Scott Bukatman’s Terminal Penetration. At the time, I was simply enthralled by Bukatman’s examination of the postmodern relationship between technology, consciousness, narrative, and virtual reality.

This theorist’s words spoke to me, encouraging me to scrutinize reality and the ways I experience it. However, the class ended, so I went back to drinking beers and playing MarioKart: Double Dash!! instead of worrying about the inevitable collapsing of reality as its paper-thin foundation crumbles.

Whatevs.

However, I have now learned that Paul Pope has contributed art for the 2nd edition of Scott Bukatman’s Blade Runner reader. As a diehard acolyte of the PULPHOPE, a fan of Harrison Ford’s most under-appreciated work, and a one-time student of media theory, I may just have to snag this book.

Punch it to hyperspace to see art, clips of the movie, and a video of Bukatman analyzing superheroes.

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If you’re reading this, it means that you survived Monday, the most dastardly day of the week. For it is on this day that we are forced to return to our places of business, to do the bidding of others in the hopes that we may one day fulfill our own dreams. Unless you’re last name is Thoreau and you’ve got a friend who’ll loan you a nice bit of land, chances’re that you’re not taking yourself off the grid. Instead, you’re going to deal with a bullshit commute to get to job you don’t love so as to be able to pay the bills.

Yikes.

But since we’re all in this together, we might as well pool our minds together and come up with an antidote to workweek ennui. Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – the weekly post in which I share with you the various ways I’ll be entertaining myself until the weekend. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the Fun-Weapons you’ll be using while we pillage Boringville.

Without further adieu, let’s fuggin’ ROCK!

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[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

Those who try to tell you that we’re living in the year 2012 are wrong. Well, they’re not so much wrong as they are missing the bigger picture. When you step back and look at all of the technology at our disposal — instantaneous global communication, metal eagles that carry us in their hollowed-out torsos, 4D movies — there’s no denyin’ where we’re living.

The future.

As residents of the future, it’s our duty to make sure that the next generation will continue to revere not only technological advancements, but also the sciences that create them. Kids’re all sorts of crazy-good at playing video games and sending text messages and even making music videos, but they don’t usually want to know how all this shit is possible. And they won’t listen to their parents! They think that parents just don’t understand! Consequently, we must seek the assistance of those folks that kids actually trust.

Television personalities.

But a new question quickly emerges – which wacky television scientist reigns supreme? While there’re plenty of contenders, two have baking-soda and vinegar’d their way to the forefront. Let’s take a look, shall we?

From 1992 to 1997, Beakman’s World graced Saturday morning television with equal parts scientific discovery and zany comedy. Each episode saw the titular Beakman (portrayed by Paul Zaloom) performing all sorts of experiments in an attempt to learn the kids a lesson or two. However, Beakman’s laboratory was a haven of hilarity, attracting such veritable characters as his female assistants (the strangely attractive Alanna Ubach during the golden age known as season one) and Lester, the anthropomorphic lab rat.

Hyperkinetic, crude, and wild-haired, Beakman is the perfect mad scientist to teach the kids about the wonder of science.

On the other hand, from 1993 to 1998 Bill Nye the Science Guy offered a more academic exploration of physical properties and empiricism and all that other jazz. Host Bill Nye did his best to foment keen interest, using kid-friendly television techniques like fast-motion and kooky graphics. Unlike Beakman, Nye steered clear of theatrics and fart-jokes, preferring to keep his laboratory and bathroom separate. Which isn’t to say that Nye was a stick in the mud, as nearly every episode ended with a gut-bustin’ music video parody.

Dignified, jocular, and kempt, Bill Nye is the role model empiricist that we hope our children become.

So, who’s the better television scientist — Beakman or Bill Nye?

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Last fall, Caffeine Powered started telling me about a comics creator by the name of Brandon Graham. He told me that he was hooked to this Graham fellow’s blog, as it featured some absolutely mind-bending artwork. Always the petulant younger brother, I scoffed at Caff-Pow’s suggestion that I visit aforementioned blog, and returned to my regularly scheduled activities (which probably consisted of drinking beers, listening to Mastodon, and playing Mario Kart).

At the time, the name Brandon Graham was whisked away to the mental data file I’ve labeled The Zillions of Things Caffeine Powered’s Tried to Foist Onto Me.

But by mid-January, the file was retrieved and brought to the forefront of my mindscape. After all, this is when Prophet #21 dropped. This comic – a relaunch of an early 90s Rob Liefeld series — massaged naughty regions of my nerd-mind that’d gone chaste for years. The panels before me contained images of kooky monster-beasts and bio-technology and gritty action, presenting them with a multicolored urbanity. After mainlining this single issue, I was addicted to John Prophet’s post-cryostasis adventures.

And when I realized Brandon Graham was the scribe of Prophet? Well, I called up Caffeine Powered and told him, “Goddamn dude, you weren’t joking.”

To atone for my sins, I reached out to Brandon Graham to see if he’d be willing to share some thoughts with Omega-Level. In the following interview, Graham reflects on inspirations old and new, teases prospective releases, and reaffirms the adage that the greatest rogues rock eyepatches.

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When I drink beer, I get sleepy.

After a pouring a few bottles of liquid-carbs into my tum-tum, I usually want to take a nap. At this point, the uproarious laughter and rock’n’roll shenanigans of a beer-drankin’ session take a backseat to my undying desire to hit the hay. I’m not complaining – this fatigue is a fair tradeoff for the great flavors and false sense of confidence that can only be delivered via brew. But if I’m being honest, I think I’d much prefer to drink beers that don’t make me want to sleep.

But as along as the brews don’t kill me, I’m goin’ to keep drinkin’ `em.

This philosophy has gotten me through years of dilettante beer reviewing. However, tonight’s beverage seems to be taunting me, offering me a potable challenge to the death. If I hadn’t spent years aspiring to the greatness of the roguish figures of my favorite comics and movies, I might just shirk away. But my moral compass is the byproduct of pop culture refuse and hyper-caffeination, so it’s time to Han Solo this Greedo-drank.

Tonight, I’m sipping on Wake Up Dead Imperial Stout

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Hello there, `fraidies and gentle-hams. My name is Rendar Frankenstein, and once upon a time I was one of the captains of the fine vessel known as Omega-Level. With Caffeine Powered, I helped steer this nerd-craft through the Interweb Ocean, fending off the ever-present threat of vibe-pirates and soul-trolls. In those early days, I’d write reviews and drink casks and even occasionally lend my word-vomit to the back of comic books.

But these days, I’ve taken to the dark underbelly of SPACESHIP OL. I like it here, where I can chat with the suspected mutineers about their murderous visions and incorrigible bloodlusts. And no, I wasn’t demoted to chomping on fish-heads and tossing the shit-barrels overboard by the powers-that-be, I volunteered for this spot. It fits me just fine.

Because the fact of the matter is that I’m Rendar Frankenstein — the hack writer extraordinaire who wears a heart on his sleeve that bleeds so profusely you’d swear he’s menstruating.

–-

This here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, a weekly show-and-tell session that promotes the cross-pollination of all things in the pop-nerd sphere. To get things started, I’m going to show you the various ways I’ll be staving off workweek ennui. Your job is to then hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be watching/reading/eating/playing/drinking/doing to exorcise the forty-hour-a-week demons.

Let’s do this.

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