#Caffeine Powered
Monday Morning Commute: Prayers Up!
I’m on vacation, but fuck I’m awful at enjoying it. Nothing says “I’m fucking crushing this relaxing thing” like waking up at 9:30 this morning, veins white-hot with irrational anxiety. But! I’m happy to say I have rallied since then. Took a two-mile walk, exercised a bit. Sucked in the rays from the Central Engine, and felt my rectum loosen just a bit. Just–a-bit. However, that’s better than nothing, right? And folks, good news.
I’m asking you to help loosen my rectum even further. That’s right, that’s right! Pull up a chair, and shoot the shit with me. Tell me what you’re looking forward to this week, and watch in glee-and-horror as the ole o-ring relaxes to a healthy sort of dour droop. I don’t ask for much, but I’m asking for this. Let us imbibe in the sweetened, honeyed nectar of community, together. And share in the experience of watching as he gets me where I need to be.
Please?
This is Monday Morning Commute.
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Average ass Scott Derrickson directing ‘Labyrinth’ sequel so I’m glad I don’t care deeply about that movie
After watching a good portion of his filmography, I’m fairly certain that Scott Derrickson is functional at best. So if I was a fan of the original, I really wouldn’t be stoked that he’s directing a Labyrinth sequel.
Dude hacks NES Power Glove to control a modular synth with his fingers. This is the retrofuture cyberpunk I demand.
Now, this is what I’m talking about. Sam Battle has gone full retrowave cyberpunk and hacked an NES Power Glove to control a modular synth of his.
‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ is already the highest grossing digital title on the Nintendo Switch
Fucking Animal Crossing, man! It was already reported that it had the best Switch launch. Ever. Now, we have word that it’s already the lifetime leader in Switch digital sales and revenue. I say, goddamn!
Scientists find that saying “fuck” and other swears can decrease pain. THEN WHY AM I ETERNALLY TORMENTED?
So, get this fucking shit! Saying swears has been shown to “reduce your experience of pain, according to a new study by Keele University researchers.” Oh man! Gimme a fuck yeah! Seriously though, now I’m vindicated every time I stub my fucking toe!
Weekend Open Bar: Take a breath, my dudes!
My, oh fucking my!
It’s the end of the week, friends! It’s the end of the semester, friends! And, it’s a long weekend friends! Praise JCVD, my friends! The All-Father has delivered me to the end of the weird, wild, awful online semester, and I’m stoked.
As well, I found out that due to budgetary problems — if you don’t know this yet, COVID-19 has lit higher education on fire — I can’t begin summer tutoring until June 1. So, not only is it a long weekend, but I’m fucking off until June 3.
My, oh fucking my!
‘Tenet’ Trailer: It’ll open the right doors…some of the wrong ones too. In theaters July 17, still! Apparently!
Here’s the new trailer for Nolan’s audacious, mind-bending movie, Tenet. And, I’m going to level with you! I’m not watching the trailer. I already want to see this shit, badly. That said? I’m impressed Warner Brothers is doubling down on its release date, July 17.
Check it out for yourself, if you’re inclined!
New ‘Tenet’ trailer is going to debut in ‘Fortnite’ because God is both dead and hates us.
New Tenet trailer coming, baby! But, uh. It’s debuting in Fortnite. What the absolute fuck.
Hideo Kojima’s longtime producer has joined Tencent. They ain’t fucking around!
Tencent has snagged away one of the founding members of Kojima Productions. I say, goddamn! The monolith is clearly taking this gaming shit seriously.
Space Swoon: Astronomers appear to have taken first images of a planet being born. The Cosmic cycle at its beginning!
Holy shit, check out this image. Astronomers believe they have captured images of a planet being born. Man. How fucking gnarly is this?
