Benzanine Cucumber and Biblo Fargo are returning for MOAR SHERLOCK. That’s right! A fucking holiday special! A fucking fourth season! And hopefully fucking better than the middling, somewhat rudderless third season!

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If a Lindsay Lohan overdoses in the Woods, does it make a sound? #PoorTaste #GoingToHell It seems that Lohan is trying to avoid entering the said woods of pop culture oblivion by any means necessary. Her latest endeavor is by suing Rockstar Games over her “likeness” being jacked in Grand Theft Auto V.

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This image of Superman from Batman v Superman sums up everything wrong with the Zack Snyder-led DC Cinematic Universe better than I ever could. Dumb. Cynical. The antithesis of everything Superman is, should be, stands for. A rote performance of a misunderstanding of what superheroes all need to be. Namely conflicted, “dark”, tortured.

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As the American Gods turns! Yeah, lame topic sentence. Lazy, lazy. Just add “Subject X!” to the “as the world turns” cliche and unleash on groaning public souls. Anyways, whatever. There’s a new development in people developing American Gods for the screen BIG or SMALL. This latest possibility involves Starz. Or as I call it, the Station that Ruined Torchwood. I’m optimistic though, cause Bryan Fuller is helming it. And dude is talented.

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Yeah, I’ll admit it. When I read the headline yesterday that there were new Batman titles coming, I sort of rolled my eyes. Being derisive from the jump doesn’t pay, folks. Because one of these fucking comics is being written by Becky fucking Cloonan, and there is a collection of talent throughout both titles. Consider me persuaded.

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Dude Huge is back. The Czar of Hardcore Dorkey Masquerading As Really Cool Bro Nation is returning to the arena. That arena being gaming. And I couldn’t be happier. The world is Less without the Guiding Hand of phalliodestruction blitzkrieg joystick manipulation.

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Bruh! Bruh! Bruh! Reignite the Torches and burn away the Darkest Timeline. We hath been delivered.

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It seems fitting that NASA is testing a Flying Saucer in hope it can help us get to Mars. Those fucking Illuminati-Martians have been rolling up on yokels in the middle of the night for half a century, abducting them to work on their terraforming projects. So when we finally take the fight to them, it makes sense we will be doing it in a vehicle not unlike their own.

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Yeehaw! It’s my favorite fucking column here on the Space-Ship Omega. Weekend Open Bar! The goddamn proverbial Royal Rumble around these parts. The obnoxious table of twenty at the Tavern. Here at Open Bar, anything goes. It’s the Weekend Long Column where I encourage you all to congregate. Use the comments section to opine about the NBA Draft. To declare your love for omnisexual Martians with Mommy issues. To post gifs of Honey Boo Boo. To share what you’re planning on sticking into your gut this weekend. Be it beer, pizza, or both (ideally). It doesn’t fucking matter, so long as it is in good spirits.

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I really enjoyed Pacific Rim. I never thought the movie would receive a genuine sequel, instead having a new installment banished to Endless Wind Cycle of Speculation. Well – I’m wrong again

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