#Caffeine Powered
Report: Apple is already looking to test its self-driving car
Apple wants to infect you, friends. Your brain. Your palms. And now your car. When the GoogleSkyAppleNetApocalypse kicks off, you’re going to have your choice of which sentient car will drive you to the prison camps. That’s what it’s looking like after this report. The Google Car? Or the Apple Car? Either way — it’s the dirt mines for you, with the rest of humanity.
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Monday Morning Commute: They Didn’t Know They Were Already Dead
They didn’t know they were already dead. Carl and Martina had been chosen to pilot the last space-ship on Mars onto the Asteroid. They were supposed to till the Helium to power the rest of the Martians home to Europa.
They didn’t they were already dead. Some fatal flaw within the wiring, some poor-man’s rigging of This or That combustible chemical dispenser was waiting for that first thrust post-orbit to vaporize Carl. To vaporize Martina. To vaporize their hopes of getting everyone home.
They didn’t know they were already dead. As the Martians stared at the faint silver glimmer that was their doomed space-ship taking flight, puncturing the skin of the atmosphere to leave for the Asteroid, they felt hope for the first time since they could remember. The entire planet cobbled together the materials for the space-ship. The entire planet’s intellect poured into reimagining a type of vessel not used for decades. The entire planet’s hopes, literally, ham-handedly symbolically, invested into the space-ship.
They didn’t know they were already dead.
Mad Mad: Fury Road’s First Draft was this 1999 electro-board print-out
Mad Max: Fury Road is my favorite movie of the year, running. But how much better could it have been, if it cleaved directly to this drawn-out first draft from 1999? One erotic mud dance better.
Pixar has announced its Dia de los Muertos film, ‘Coco’, by the ‘Toy Story 3’ team
Pixar is finally letting us in on its long-in-development Dia de los Muertos movie. At D23, the company officially unveiled the movie, known as Coco.
Darth Vader-themed limited edition PlayStation 4 is coming; bundled with classic games
I don’t fuck with themed or limited-edition consoles. ‘Cause, I don’t know, committing the aesthetic of an entire console to one game or property just ain’t my thing. But if I did fuck with them! Oh boy, would this be a console worth considering. (I’m hoping the games will be available, outside of this bundle?)
‘Captain America: Civil War’ D23 Footage: Ant-Man goes Fan-Boy For Steve Rogers + Such Strife!
I came across this yesterday and, you know, didn’t get around to posting about it. Truth be told — I have high hopes for Civil War. Namely, because I’m beyond down with the Russo Brothers and their writing squad. This footage description? Nothing in this footage description does anything other than amplify my jackitude.
‘Star Wars: Rogue One’ releases official photo, confirms Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, rest of cast
Man. Look at this fucking picture, yo. Gritty. Grimy. Dirty. Failed Future. A pack of filthy, degenerate bastards, and they’re the Rebellion’s best shot. Love it. If this picture is an accurate portrayal of what Gareth Edwards is going for, I’m picking up everything that he is putting down. And goddamn, the fucking cast! Sign me up.
Disney adding ‘Star Wars Land’ to both Disneyland in Cali, and Hollywood Studios in Florida
Praise the Elder Ones, it appears that I’m getting my most-desired simulacra. As reality dissolves around us, and signifiers are mutilated and manipulated, I’m sated to know that the Cultural Imperialist Rat-Swine will be serving my flavor of media-driven subjugation at the very least. No, seriously, I’m excited.
