The future is here! It’s just not evenly distributed. So says Billy Gibson. Well. I can confirm a couple of people who have received the future. These console cowboys have stolen more than 100 cars, using their leet hacker skills.

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It seems that Rogue One is going to be rifling through the post-Original Trilogy mythos in more ways than one. Not only is Ghost Dog some sort of character from Clone Wars or some shit, but Jimmy Smits is also getting in on the action.

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降雨kōu-sjø-1990

Finally, the Bar is back! Finally, the Bar is Open! Where have I been? Where have you been? A blinking cursor staring at an unclicking keyboard, attempting to nudge an illusory mousepad. Right? Right! Right? Right! I think, if the synapses are firing correctly, and oh god are they never firing correctly anymore, that this is my second week off from the (welcomed) grind of summer teaching. I’ve been filling my (non)free hours with posting dumb memes on OL’s Facebook page, tutoring students on campus, eating too little, conversely at times eating far too much, and occasionally playing Rise of the Tomb Raider and Borderlands 2.

Oh. And oh! Oh. And oh!! Oh. And oh!!! I’ve also been obsessing over Stranger Things which really should be called Boner Things or perhaps more accurately An Array of Things In The Guise of a Television Show That Give Me A Boner. Not sure why they didn’t go with that title, but I suppose one’s flaws serve only to point out their perfections. Or, in my case, to keep me from getting laid the first twenty-five years of my life and suffer through wearing an uncomfortable though familiar shawl of self-doubt and insecurities. But we can talk about that more! Later! Oh, where, when, later?

How about here, in the comments section, of Weekend Open Bar!

The weekly column where I encourage those of you kind enough, brave enough, pitying enough, lonely enough, horny enough, strong enough, gassy enough, brash enough to share what you’re up to during a given weekend.

Share what you’re eating. Share what you’re watching. Share what you’re playing. Fuck it, tell me what’s giving you a boner. I don’t care! We’re all friends! We’re all family! You’re all getting a toenail and a used pair of underwear of mine when I die, so fuck, you know you’re close to me.

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Christ, I may have to dip back into a Marvel monthly comic (outside of Moon Knight). Not only is Star-Lord getting a title in the upcoming Marvel NOW! relaunch, but the title is being written by Chip Zdarsky. Not only is the title being written by Chip Zdarsky, the artwork and Star-Lord redesign is being handled by the filthy talented Kris Anka.

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This is a veritable fucking treasure trove of nostalgia, folks. So many issues of Nintendo Power. Just sitting there at the Internet Archive. For all of us. Free.

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I didn’t play StarCraft. I won’t play a StarCraft HD. My ADD is too profound for strategy. But I’m psyched for the numerous friends who are going to be excited for this news.

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I know David Huddleston from The Big Lebowski, where he played the real Lebowski, Lebowski. The actor has passed away at the age of 85, but he will live on in my seemingly endless repeat viewings of the aforementioned movie, one of my favorites of all time.

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Don’t know what to make of Christopher Nolan’s trajectory. Dark Knight Rises was…good (?). I found Interstellar insufferable, but gorgeous. This trailer? Proves that if nothing else, Dunkirk will be as gorgeous as the latter. Really, as gorgeous as most of Nolan’s movies. All of his movies?

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Fuck, I want me some Prey. If this trailer is any indication, the title is pitching right into my wheelhouse of geek interests. Monsters? Check. Deserted Space Station? Check. Thin walls behind reality and non-reality? Check. Fuck, I need me some Prey.

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