#August2013
PLAYSTATION 4 RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCED: NOV. 15 LIKE WUT.
It’s been dated! The arrival of the PlayStation Computing Station-Fourth! Begin pinching your pennies and hocking your seminal fluids and other reproductive goods. You have until the middle of this November.
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‘TITANFALL’ GAMEPLAY TRAILER: The reason I’ll buy an Xbox One
Respawn Entertainment’s Xbox One exclusive has gotten itself a gameplay trailer, and my goodness. I’m not one to lean on hyperbole for descriptiveness (heh), but watching this trailer literally compelled my dong-tip to burst forth off the shaft. It fluttered about the room, running up the corners of the walls in a hysteria. After finally exhausting itself of its unexplained kinetic energy, it fell listlessly into the aquarium. Where the angelfish ate it.
Monday Morning Commute: Never Better than Later
I used to believe in the `ole “Better late than never” adage.
But then there was that time that I was late in delivering that CD with the software update which told the Home Health Bots to not rape their clients. Boy oh boy, was Dr. Stephen J. Vunderlust upset with me! And he had good reason, too! The phone lines lit up like a Fifth of July hangover, with the receiver screeching out horrid details about old folks and invalids being robot-raped. Relentlessly. Until expiration.
So yeah, sometimes it’s not okay to be late.
But alas! This is the Monday Morning Commute and my tardiness ain’t resultin’ in any forced sodomy! This is the spot where I show you how I’ll be spending the next few days. Y’know, what I’ll be doin’ to kill time and avoid the type of boredom only available to First World Denizens of this Strange Future-Present. Anyways, then you hit up the comments section and share your upcoming activities.
Don’t be late to this ball — let’s dance!
J.J. ABRAMS’ ‘STRANGER’ Teaser Trailer: MYSTERIES FOR ALL.
Hey! Are you like me? Completely fatigued with Abrams and his insipid Mystery Box? Well, tough rocks! Today Abrams dropped a surprise teaser trailer for something. What is it? Who knows! It’s a mystery! Which means that its awesome! Because plot, narrative structure, and character depth don’t matter in Abrams’ world! Just the mystery! Forever! Into infinity! Ponder, wonder, guess! Each curious conjuncture actually powers Abrams’ biomechanical cock, a device that is solely charged by collecting the cumulative curiosity of the geek intellecto-sphere.
Here is the dumb teaser.
Rumor: EVERY XBOX ONE in Europe coming with a copy of ‘FIFA 14’ free.
I don’t know the non-American football well. At all. However, I do know that them fuckers in Europe are bonkers for it. In fact, isn’t FIFA like the top selling franchise? So the fact that the XBONE is going to come with a free copy seems pretty fucking impressive to me. Like if they dropped the console in America packaged with Call of Battlefield: Modern Ops and a twelve-pack of Dew.
‘EPISODE VII’ Rumor: Movie is dropping in DECEMBER of 2015. Ho-ho-holy shit?
Aw man! Underhand pitched that stupid headline! Swung so hard I cracked vertebrae! Whatever. I don’t care. The latest Star Wars: Episode VII: Abrams’ Controls My Heart rumor is that the flick isn’t dropping in May of 2015. This doesn’t surprise me very much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Every movie in the franchise has arrived in May. But they ain’t cast anyone for this fucking flick, let alone started filming it. So December? Makes sense to me.
The Milky Way Galaxy’s MAGELLANIC STREAM is a pretty ribbon.
The southern hemisphere of our galaxy is gassy. Much like my southern hemisphere. Unlike my own Tootin’ Corner (as I call it), the reasons for the Milky Way Galaxy’s ribbon of potentially star-forming gas are much, much more epic.
Hit the jump to behold the Magellanic Stream! Oh, and some more info.
WATCH: Benjamin Santiago’s new piece, SWOON. Trippy Boobies Time.
As evidenced by prior contributions (exhibit a, b, and c), Benjamin Santiago ain’t just a friend of the site. That son of a bitch is also a nauseatingly talented artist. The GoodSir has dropped a video of his latest piece titled SWOON. It was performed at the Ferro Strouse Gallery as part of Bustin’ Out.
Hit the jump to check Benjamin’s latest jam.
That talented bastard.
New AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2′ photos tease the SINISTER SIX. Oh golly!
All team-up everything! Good guys! Villains! If your comic book movie doesn’t have more than one superhero in it, it doesn’t fucking matter. That’s a cosmic fact. Amazing Spider-Garfield 2 knows this.
First official ‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST’ IMAGE. The Mutants Go Psychadelic.
Here is a little nerdery to cap off your weekend. An official image for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and it’s totally dripping with the era of its time. Back to the Future! Past! Or something. Hit the jump to check it out.
