#April2012
PEPPERONI PIZZA SWEATSHIRT.
It smelled like grease and I could still feel the skin cells from the corpse I ripped off of coating the inner guts. I didn’t care. I had the pepperoni pizza sweatshirt. I had it. Finally. George would stop laughing now, because when Tina saw me in this son of a bitch her labia would self-lubricate so fast that chaos theory dictated a colossal tsunami in some country that didn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter. Probably didn’t have cable TV there, or McDonald’s, and if those aren’t the tent pole for modern civilization then I don’t know what are.
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‘CRYSIS 3’ GAMEPLAY TRAILER: Cause Pretty Graphics Trump Derivation
Has anyone played the Crysis titles? I haven’t. I know they’re really pretty. Maybe even worth a purchase on the (soon to be dead) used game shelf. Yet they seem pretty standard and thus nothing has ever shoved me towards acquiring them. The third title exists, is totally coming out sometime, and now has a trailer.
DROPBOX Goes MEGAUPLOAD With New Feature, A-Nice.
One of the features that had Megaupload on the ropes has come to Dropbox. With but a click of the button you can now share any file in your Dropbox account. Ballin’!
First ‘NINJA TURTLES’ Drawing Up For Auction. Still Teenage, Still Sacred.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The time remaining before Michael Bay’s turd cut ties with his sphincter and casually falls onto the franchise dwindles, and so we must cherish this moments. Let’s hit the wayback machine, and think of when the Ninja Turtles first arrived. Perhaps by buying the original drawing. That’d be nostalgia, aye?
‘G.I. JOE RETALIATION’ THEATRICAL TRAILER: Guns, Swords, Quips.
Here’s the trailer for G.I. Joe Retaliation. Nothing gets me totally amped up for global spending on war and defense like a pack of gorgeous hard bodies making bloodshed and warfare seem so fucking sexy.
The BAFTA Awards for Television nominees are announced. This post is mostly about Benedict Cumberbatch.
Ah yes, the BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) Awards for Television are coming up. For those of us who are complete and total anglophiles, the list of nominees dropped today, much to my delight and suspicion. Why suspicion? Well, since 2005, I’ve a vested interest in the classier cousin of our Emmy.
You see, Benedict Cumberbatch was nominated for a BAFTA for Hawking in 2005. And lost. Try and imagine senior-in-high-school me flipping tables and ripping pages out of library books in my rage. I didn’t actually do any of that, but I seriously considered it. Surely, I thought to myself, they won’t make that mistake again. His next nomination was for Small Island, for Best Supporting Actor. And he lost. His next was for Sherlock. And he lost. His next was for film, for Best Supporting Actor in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. And he lost. If he loses this time, you’ll probably end up seeing my lovely face on TV. On the 11 o’clock news. When I’m in a bell tower surrounded by a lot of guns and ammo.
For the list of nominations, hit the jump!
‘AVENGERS’ Assembled At TARGET Out Of Consumer Nonsense
One of the great things about Target is that you can walk out of the joint having spent $200 on absolutely nothing. A shitty DVD, some razors, an action figure, jelly beans, Diet Dew, and all of a sudden you’re poor. Riffing on this idea that the establishment truly is a Palace for Mindless Crap is this Avengers advertising campaign. The Avengers! Built from nonsense! For a spectacle movie. It all comes together.
PAUL FEIG Did Some Writing On ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN’, Awkward Hilarity ++
Paul Feig isn’t just the dude who wrote Bridesmaids. Okay! Shit. Everyone fucking forgets. He’s also the mind behind Freaks and Geeks, and at least one scene in the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man will feature his penchant for interpersonal awkwardness.
This PIZZA HUT PIZZA Has F**King HAMBURGERS On It. No, Srsly.
Look at this friggin’ madness. The various Pizza Huts of the world are upping their game. First it was the Pizza Hut UK claiming hot dog-stuffed crusts. Now Pizza Hut Middle East is smashing hamburgers on top of their fucking pies.
‘RETURN OF THE JEDI’ Storyboards Got A Darkness That’d Make An Ewok Shit.
Here’s a flew of storyboards for Return of the Jedi done by artist David Russell. They come from an exclusive interview over at The Movie Blog, and they’re some dark shit, and definitely echo the more serious currents of the flick. You know, when George Lucas wasn’t having his primitive-compared-to-teddy-bears overthrowing an Empire moments.
Gorgeous stuff.
