#March2011
New X-Men: First Class Posters Are Glorious Photoshop Fail.

Apparently the Magneto and Professor X character posters released last week were of the international sort. This week we’re treated to the US version, and oh fucking boy! Nothing is cooler than floating heads superimposed over silhouettes. Well, at least some comic book geek is probably having the graphic design internship of a lifetime.
Hit the jump for the posters.
OLOST – Monster Squad Rap
Performed by the Monster Squad and written/produced by DICK RUDOLPH. Seriously, everything from the late ’80s to mid ’90s was a rap.
The Sun Turns A Detached Prominence Into Art.
Microsoft Hiring People To Work On Next Console; 720 Get!

Say what you will about all the motion bullshit gadgetry that has been birthed out of the bleeding anus where gaming ingenuity used to be. It’s prolonged the generation. That kids, is a fucking good thing. However, everything comes to an end. This generation’s cycle is no exception, and Microsoft has begun hiring engineers to work on their next Box.
DEFEAT. 024 – The Hero Gets the Girl
[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction. Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]
Daryl leaned forwards and Vanessa leaned backwards. The hero planted a kiss on his girl’s neck. There was enthusiasm only teens are capable of, a willingness to jump right into the thick of things without worrying about details. And that was for the best, too, ‘cause if Daryl started thinking about the particulars he’d have realized he had no clue as to what the fuck he was doing.
Or, more appropriately, how to do the fucking.
But that didn’t matter, because Daryl was a teenager. And as such, he was imbued with that special prowess of life that is lost when one allows bills and taxes and getting to the office on time and counting calories and changing the batteries in the smoke alarm to take precedence. When that happens life is no longer an experience but a goddamn calculation. Less of something to enjoy and more of something to figure out. Not a gift, but an expense.
Daryl and Vanessa didn’t concern themselves with such misdirecting thoughts. Instead, they went full-throttle into one another, grappling with a passion that could’ve been mistaken for violence had clothes not been removed. Neither had ever gone all the way before, but there was no doubt in either’s mind now.
Variant Covers: The Stench Of Latex Crotch, Zounds.

Ah, labor pains. The tremendous abdominal liquidations that come from strenuous exertion. It’s the middle of the semester for Seminal Idiot turned Teaching Assistant right here, and I’m ready for a break. I read a couple of comic books last weekend, and but for a moment, the skies opened up. Yes, I thought to myself. Perhaps it will get better. Here I am, though. It’s Tuesday, and I’m blasting through this column with little regard for grammatical form or editing. Per usual. I know.
This is Variant Covers. Here are the comics I’m excited for this week.
Uncharted 3’s Villainess Revealed. Meet Katherine Marlowe.

Naughty Dog’s revealed the main antagonistic behind Uncharted 3, and she’s a slightly shriveled yet sexy British bitch by the name of Katherine Marlowe. The reveal was dropped onto the gaming public today in a trailer that also featured our boy Nathan in a sexy suit, ready for some back alley action. Read into that phrase as you will.
Hit the jump for the video.
Berlin Street Artists Build Kaleidoscopes To Block Subway Ads.

The future is happening all around us, and we have no fucking idea! Take Berlin. Apparently in Berlin, they’ve eschewed print advertisements in subway stations for projectors to display their ads. In response, a group of Berlin street artists build giant kaleidoscopes to place over said projectors. Take the power back! Or at least the uh, sanctity (?) of subway walls. The minds behind the gag explain:
A couple of months ago, ad-projectors appeared in a Berlin subway station, throwing moving images all over the station walls and lifting visual aggressiveness to a new level. Since the images were projected, we could get between projector and projection to fight this new quality of exaggerated advertisement with its own weapons. Minimalinvasive adbusting devices made of mirrors, magnets and quite some ducktape.
It’s pretty bad ass.
Hit the jump to see them pull it off.
OLOST – John Carpenter’s “Coup de Ville”
John Carpenter’s scored most of his own films. He’s a talented dude like that. But when it comes to singing in a music video for one of his films, he should just chill. Regardless, Big Trouble in Little China fucking rules.
Marvel’s Making An ‘Inhumans’ Movie.

Don’t fret, True Believers. Marvel’s bin of possible comic book adaptations is never, ever going to run dry. Why, just today it’s been discovered that they’re bringing the fucking Inhumans to the big screen.





