Here’s a scientific fact you probably don’t know: Marky Mark is clinically awesome in Boogie Nights. And one of the best moments of the movie is when he begins belting out ‘The Touch’. Apparently that shit is from Transformers. Never knew. Do you want a video of him belting it out? How about Christian Bale singing the theme to the Powerpuff Girls? In the same video? Well here you go. I’m sorry for blowing up your asshole with awesome.

It’s worth it.

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The days of the mechs are upon us! I only hope I can wield one within the framework of some sort of alien invasion! Neuroscientists have created the first brain-controlled exoskeleton. Welcome to the future, baby! Welcome to the fucking future.

io9:

It’s a science fiction dream, and now is close to reality. Scientists at the University of Chicago were experimenting with brain-computer interfaces in monkeys, teaching them to control computer cursors via electrodes implanted in their brains. We’ve known for a while that thinking about moving activates the same areas of the brain as moving itself does – so monkeys (and humans) learn to do this by imagining that they’re moving left, right, up or down. But the researchers discovered that the monkeys learned much faster if their arms were moved at the same time the cursor did – basically, they got feedback via movement in their bodies as well as from looking at the monitor.

Society for Neuroscience:

The authors worked with two adult rhesus macaques to assess a system that incorporates a sense of movement. Each monkey was first trained to control a cursor using brain signals only; electrodes collected and processed data from the monkeys’ motor cortex cells and transmitted those commands to the computer. Basic science research has shown that simply thinking about a motion activates brain cells in the same way that making the movement does, so each monkey needed to only think about moving a cursor to do it.

Oh god! For the longest time I was worried about the robot and/or zombie uprising. But now we’re outfitting primates with exoskeletons! Jesus Christ! When will we fucking learn? The great simian uprising of 2012 may in fact be upon us. But if it ain’t, I want me some fucking exoskeleton goodness. Something nice and synthetic and disinclined to rot like the meat sac I’m currently wearing.

Mike Del Mundo via Rampaged Reality.

Welcome back, carnivores of taste, to another edition of Cage Match, the only weekly column in the universe completely dedicated to Nicolas Cage. In last week’s exciting episode, we were visited by Mr. Cage’s brother, Christopher Coppola. We were honored to have Mr. Coppola, aka the DigiVangelist, who visited our comments section and turned out to be even cooler than he looks in his pictures. That was definitely a watershed moment in my fandom.

But let’s stay grounded and get back to the task at hand: reporting awesome Nic Cage related shit. The biggest nugget dropped yesterday when a video hit the net of Cage exhibiting some real-life Cage Rage outside of a nightclub in Bucharest. I’ve heard people yell some pretty wild shit when they get furious, but Cage takes it to another level. He could have been a speech writer for the Ultimate Warrior. There’s some more Season of the Witch clips, the lowdown on a confirmed new role, and tax drama, Cage-style!

Real Life Cage Rage Outside of a Bucharest Nightclub

If you thought his on-screen insanity was impressive, you should see how Cage throws down in real life. He’s in Romania finishing up photography on Ghostrider 2 and a couple days ago he verbally bitch slapped a man outside of a Bucharest nightclub. By “bitch slap” I mean he went on a tirade and yelled things like:

“You know it! So do not try to escape! Otherwise, you kill me? F**k you! I die in honor! I could die right now! Want to hit me?”

“Look in my eyes! I’m not a liar! That man is a liar!”

“Get in the car! I’ll die in the name of honor!”

…and people say chivalry is dead. No reports yet on what set Cage off but the guy probably deserved it. Now, will some computer savvy individual please re-edit the classic Cage Rage video to include this song. (via FilmDrunk)

Mo’ Cage news after the break!

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It’s been a busy day for Jon Favreau, and Iron Man 3. First it was rumored that Favreau wasn’t going to direct it. Then it was confirmed. And now we have, courtesy of Slashfilm and the LA Times the reason behind his departure.

In an interview with Los Angeles Times writer Geoff Boucher, Favreau said the rumored reasons why he’s leaving Iron Man, such as money issues or lack of cohesiveness, where inaccurate. He’s still a producer on The Avengers and remains friendly with Marvel main man Kevin Feige. His main reason for leaving was to “find something that lights a fire” inside of him and also something that will “blow people away, which is easier to do with a project that isn’t loaded with built-in expectations.” So, basically, he wants some new toys to play with. He thinks of the departure as more of a “graduation” rather than “divorce.”

Well then. Hard to blame the guy, isn’t it? If he was genuinely burnt out on the characters and would have been mailing in a third movie, I’m glad it oped out of it. If you’re reticent to agree with me, check out Spider-Man 3. It’s mind-blowing how awful a movie can be when a director no longer has the freedom he wants, or the passion for the characters. I forgive you, Sam Raimi.

So Favreau is gone. Wonder who is going to step in. Thoughts?

[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

Daryl Millar spent this particular Monday night sleeplessly staring at his bedroom ceiling. Despite what many would call a more-than successful day, Daryl couldn’t shake a feeling of discontent. Something much weightier was on the horizon.

Treating a friend to pizza. Getting a girl’s phone number. Enjoyable activities. But it was learning one of his grandfather’s secret origins that induced the temporary insomnia. Gramps’ tale wasn’t an anecdote or a flapping of the gums.

It was a revelation.

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Randy Kirk thinks that there’s an ice volcano on Saturn. And dammit, I hope the guy is right. Tell us more, New Scientist!

Named Sotra, the volcano is nearly 1 kilometre tall and has a 1.6-kilometre-deep pit alongside it. Surrounded by giant sand dunes, it is thought to be the largest in a string of several volcanoes that once spewed molten ice from deep beneath the moon’s surface.

“We think we have found the strongest case yet for an ice volcano on Titan,” said Randy Kirk, a geophysicist at the US Geological Survey in Flagstaff, Arizona. “What we see is not just a flow like we see in other places, it’s like a volcanic field would be on Earth.”

[cont]

The team cannot be certain if the chain is active, but described the find as the best evidence found so far for a cryovolcano, or ice volcano. Previously, bright spots seen in low-resolution satellite images have been interpreted as volcanic flows and craters. However, once those areas were mapped in 3D, it became obvious they weren’t volcanoes.

“We had noted Sotra Facula as a candidate cryovolcano before,” said Rosaly Lopes at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California. “But it was only when Randy got the topography done that we realised, wow, this is it.”

Righteous. But what is even more righteous? The concept of a fucking cryovolcano. You can’t just call that shit an ice volcano. That sounds pedestrian! Cryovolcano! A volcano that shoots molten ice. I have a space-dork chubby. This shit ounds like something I absolutely need to cast in an RPG.

Hope your sitting down AND buckled up because the first trailer for next year’s Fast & Furious is online. Yesterday, Caffeine Powered posted on my Facebook the homoerotic promo photo of Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel staring each other down. Just when I thought I recovered from that testosterone sandwich, they release the first trailer. Boom! Not only are Vin Diesel and Paul Walker back once again, but Tyrese and Ludacris are up in this bitch as well. I hope they make Tyrese eat everything in sight again, like in the second one.

The movie is officially title Fast Five, which kinda sucks. Let’s brainstorm other titles so I can avoid writing any actual insight on the trailer. Hmmm…5ast & 5urious. Too edgy? How about Fast & Furious V: Axe Body Spray. Nah, too commercial. I give up. This is still gearing up to be the best worst movie of 2011. With NoS.

Update: Deadline confirms Favreau’s departure. Balls.

—-

Thar be reports pouring out that Jon Favreau isn’t going to direct Iron Man 3. This isn’t an enormous surprise. Both Favreau and Downey Jr. didn’t like the Iron Man 2 script, and felt it was rushed out. As well, Marvel has been developing a reputation for being cheap as fuck, and Favreau may have been/may be anticipating getting low balled. And now there are reports that he has informed Marvel that he shan’t be returning for the third movie.

But still, fucking shit. Favreau’s a talented son of a bitch, and he clearly gets Iron Man.

Over at Slashfilm, they point out that Favreau was even recently wavering on the topic:

Vulture first reported the news of Favreau’s apparently (sic) departure from the Iron Man franchise. He spoke about the third film at length just last week and you can read our report here. The video, from MTV, is below and in it, you’ll hear Favreau talking about his uncertainty concerning Iron Man 3.

Slash then links to a transcript of said conversation:

Kevin Feige, who’s been involved with superhero movies with Marvel movies since the X-Men films, is very aware of his path and how to weave [things together], so in theory, ‘Iron Man 3? is going to be a sequel or continuation of ‘Thor,’ ‘Hulk,’ ‘Captain America’ and ‘Avengers’… This whole world… I have no idea what it is. I don’t think they do either, from conversations I’ve had with those guys.

Balls. I’m getting frustrated with Marvel’s insistence on lowballing directors and rushing bullshit out. When you have a winning director, let them do their own thing with the franchise. Trust me. Maybe Iron Man 2 would have been more than decent but forgettable if Favreau had been able to work at his own speed.

Ask DC about it? Clearly letting Nolan rock out for a bit and then return invigorated to a franchise has worked.

December, and the winter smiles upon us. Its dark bitter smile. Unless you’re one of those fuckers blessed with place of residence that keeps the climate balmy. For the rest of us? Let us escape into the panels, dialogue bubbles, and yes, even the occasional splash page to escape. Ah, escape. Much like I’m escaping into this list of comics that caught my eye this week, to abstain from writing a term paper.

Grab my hand and let’s fly.

—-

Strange Tales #3
The final issue of the second volume of Strange Tales comes out this week. Just buy this comic book, okay? It’s a collection of indie artists spinning their own unique take on the Marvel characters you’ve come to know. And love. And probably, to an extent, become apathetic to. I don’t usually say this, but even if it’s shitty, it’s probably worth buying. Show some love, so Marvel continues to allow some outside voices to spout off on the characters.

Consider it a dorky political move.

It doesn’t hurt that the comics themselves are generally well done. Some clunkers, but even then, they’re trying. I sound like a little league coach.

Onwards.

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