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Our brains aren’t built to comprehend this shit, but let’s try. You can fit one million Earths inside the sun. And yet? A recently discovered star is 300 times more massive than the sun.

via io9:

Astronomers have identified the most massive stars known. These objects are millions of times brighter than our Sun and the largest of them all is a whoppin’ 300 times the mass of our favorite star.

The stars were discovered in two clusters–NGC 3603 and RMC 136a–and researchers used a “combination of instruments on the European Southern Observatory’s Very Large Telescope, in addition to archival data from the Hubble Space Telescope, to study the stellar nurseries.” With this combination of tools, they were able to discover some almost scary details about R136a1, the most massive of the stars:

Its current mass is approximately 265 solar masses, and its estimated birth weight was as much as 320 times that of our sun. R136a1 also has the highest luminosity of any star found to date — nearly 10 million times greater than the sun.

Good lord. I can’t even begin to imagine that shit. This thing needs a way cooler name than R136a1, though.

Thar be some insane muscles!

I always wonder what sort of horse-balls derived, HGH-rich diet Hollywood actors are on, to achieve the physiques of well, Norse gods. Bask in the rippling mountains of Thor’s muscles in this picture. And silently weep (if you’re like me) at your lax, rippling waves of lack-of-tone.

San Diego Comic Con is going to break my back with newsworthy updates. Revealed today in Marvel Vs Capcom 3 were Chun Li, Dr. Doom, Super Skrull, and Trish from Devil May Cry. What an eclectic lot of studs and studettes. Though I have to say, I doubt anyone will come close to the awesomeness that is Deadpool and his 4th-Wall breaking super move.

Hit the jump to see their character artwork.

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[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

Birthday wishes for the dead hero.

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For the upcoming San Diego Comic Con, Marvel has dropped two super-ballin’ concept paintings. One for Captain America, and one for Thor. These guys are absurdly bad ass.

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The great irony here may be that the paintings designed to promote the movies may actually show why there’s something about these characters in graphic form that cannot be captured by cameras.

Holy fuggin’ shit, it looks like the Riddler is really going to be in The Dark Knight 2 / Batman 3 / Whatever. And more so, it looks like my wet dream of Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing him may be coming true. Get ready to e-masturbate:

via slashfilm:

There have been rumors of a JGL Riddler in the Batman sequel for some time. Today, FirstShowing got info from a source with a studio casting grid for Batman 3, so their report about the Riddler and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is more than pure speculation. In short, the casting gird is a data array with the roles in the film, possible actors, and scheduling needs. It shows talent availability and   which roles have actually been offered out. It can also be crucial in noting what actors can cover roles other then the ones they’re primarily wanted for.

So this info lists the Riddler, and has JGL as a primary candidate marked as ‘interested’. As FirstShowing says, don’t take this as any report that Levitt is in the film, but it may be a good sign that the Riddler will be.

Fuggin’ boom! Boners and cartwheels. I would fucking love this. My dickcrush broner (yes, broner) for JGL is reaching staggering heights. The idea of him being in the third Batman movie is enough to send me into fits of ecstacy. And in case you’re wondering what that looks like: lots of drooling, rubbing body parts, and kissing my computer monitor while Batman Forever loops in the background.

Let’s get this shit done.

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Banksy rocked out in Detroit recently. Apparently he hit up the abandoned Packard auto plant, and in a great twist of irony, the work was dug up and brought to a local gallery. Aversion to subversion! To something.

Amazing Spider-Man #638
Alright, fuck every other comic that is coming out this week, I want to talk about Peter Parker. This week, the Spider-Man event One Moment In Time is kicking off. The event is in response to the other Spidey event that took place in 2007. That shiz was called Brand New Day. In this wonderful arc, Spider-Man was faced with a choice presented by Mephisto. Mephisto was all like, “Yo, I can save your dying Aunt May. But in return, you will never have married Mary Jane.”

Somehow, and for some reason, Peter Parker decided that this was a solid deal. What a dumb bastard. He chose his rickety old fucking Aunt May, over his gorgeous, accepting supermodel wife? This shit has irked me for some time now. Dude Pete, she ain’t even your Mom, yo. I know, I know, same thing, close enough, blah blah blah. So poof! With a wink and a nod, and probably some magical smoke that makes people disappear and stuff, Mary Jane and Peter Parker were never married.

Somehow.

Why’d it happen?

Well, it happened because Mephisto wanted Parker’s love. Or something. But we know why it really happened: because Marvel had no idea what the fuck to do with Peter Parker anymore. Parker was the character that apparently everybody related to growing up. I didn’t, I was a total X-Men dude. I was more comfortable running around with a pack of mutants, watching Wolverine gut dudes and totally talk smack to Scotty Summers and secretly hitting on Jean Grey.

[As a brief aside, did you ever consider Wolverine’s enhanced senses? Like, what’d they be like in the bedroom? I imagine sniffing a pair of panties with his leet skills is either the greatest thing ever, or he passes out and goes semi-catatonic.]

But anyways, people related to him. Why? Because he was dorky, and disaffected. Because he didn’t fit in, and he had typical teenage angst, and he had a rough go of things. His parents were dead, he kept waking up with webbing in his pants thinking about watching Mary Jane cheerleading at the pep rally.

Peter Parker married to Mary Jane?

That shit changes everything! Parker wasn’t angsty anymore, he wasn’t unfulfilled. He was a middle-class teacher, married to a gorgeous supermodel who accepted him for all his quirks and the fact that he dresses up in tights and fights giant reptiles. Acceptance. Evolution. Before Brand New Day, Parker wasn’t the character that people had grown up to love, who was eminently relatable. He was normal. And apparently that was boring enough, and scary enough, and far enough away from his “roots” as Joe Quesada put it, that they had to use one of the most contrived storyline mechanics I can recall to pull it off.

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This dude is my new hero, a benchmark for modern culture, and an athlete of epic proportions.

via destructoid:

There’s a new gold standard for heroism in the world. A man was able to nab not one, but two Xbox 360s from a Beavercreek, Ohio Best Buy while carrying a diaper bag and a real live baby! I’m sorry, but that kind of brazen feat deserves a golf clap.

The mystery man, described as 6ft, 250 pounds and balding, grabbed two consoles and lefts with them under his arm while carrying the child. He then got into his Kia Spectre and sped off, allegedly without even securing the baby in its seat. Although on the surface this looks like bad parenting, we can’t rule out the fact that the baby was in on the scam, and possibly the brains of the operations.

Good damn damn and a golf clap to this man! The economy sucks! He’s probably unemployed, dismissed by The Man from wherever he works. How the fuck else is he going to be able to co-op on Xbox Live with his buddy from the same room when Halo: Reach drops? Tell me fucking how! It’s bad enough his old Xbox 360 fucking RROD’d and he couldn’t afford to ship it out for repairs.

This man is simply a product of our system. And I like him.