This is a few days old, but I hope you’ll forgive me. For starters, I make it a point to take the weekends off from continual internet refreshing and posting. Consider it my downtime. Of course, the internet doesn’t sleep, and shit happens. And secondly, when I read this shit, I blacked-out. I woke up in a puddle of my own corn-heavy vomit. Just gallons and gallons of corn-filled puke. All over my body. My eyes were red, my mind was certain: there is no God.

Why? [Rumor] George Lucas is apparently making three more Star Wars movies.

Slashfilm:

IESB — who has been known to have connections at Lucasfilm in the past — is currently reporting that Lucas is “plotting to create” new Star Wars movies which would be released after the six three 3D re-releases and would take place far in the future, not relating to the Skywalkers. More after the jump? You bet we do.

In the IESB piece, they back up their source by informing readers that they broke the news of Revenge of the Sith’s PG-13 rating, the live action TV show as well as The Clone Wars show. They believe that’s enough to substantiate the rumor.

Specifically, they report that while working on the 3D conversions of the new films, which will begin in 2012 with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Lucas “has gotten the itch.” He has “gotten motivated with the success the Clone Wars animated series, the video games and also with the success of Avatar.”

The sequels, not prequels, would not focus on the Skywalkers, but instead be set in the future. Same universe, but totally different story. By doing this, Lucas doesn’t have to fit pieces into a puzzle like he had to do with the prequels. And he has stated that that process was creatively constricting to him.

Well fuck me sideways, with an ignited lightsaber. You should have seen the look of pure terror when I told Pepsibones this news. He was fresh off a great weekend of drinking heavily and celebrating his birthday. It was a weekend of merriment. I almost felt guilt letting him know that in fact, our childhood was going to get spread, and fucked ruthlessly once more. His eyes darkened, and fear filled the parts of his soul he wished not to acknowledge existed. His innocence, which he had long thought dead, or at least outright denied.

Fuck George Lucas. Let me be clear about something. I don’t hate the idea of more Star Wars content in any form if it’s done right. I hate the idea of George Lucas making any more Star Wars content. If this rumor had “Del Toro” or “Spielberg” or “Jackson” or “Blomkamp” attached to it, I’d be losing my god damn shit with glee. It’s the fact that, if this is true, fat Lucas will be bumbling and raping his own mythos again. And that ladies and gentleman, makes me very, very afraid.

I have puke to wipe up.

Did you miss this week’s episode of Dexter? Good for you. ‘Cause I watched the entire thing, and I’m happy to report that absolutely nothing of worth occurred. Oh man! Sippin’ the Hatorade. That’s me, right here. Naw, not even. The fifth episode of season five was unremarkable. That’s the long and the short of it.

And for anyone in the “give it time” bullshit mode, we’re a third of the way through. At this point in previous seasons, we were humming sexily along. Secure in our trajectory. Right now? Waiting for shit to take off.

Wake me up.

Tonight’s episode can be distilled down into three painfully telescoped plot-points, and two interesting moments.

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If this video doesn’t get you pumped for a Saturday night in October, nothing will.

It’s back, muthafugga, it’s back.

If you followed OL in the formative days, you know all about the glory that is the Friday Brew Review. If you’re new to this scene, let me clue you in: I like the taste of beer. I like the way it makes me feel. I like its ability to make my jokes funnier and women seem more attractive. So for your benefit, I will drink cold ones and describe the experience.

It’s pretty straight-forward.

So after a sabbatical that saw me averting death, deciding on a career, and becoming a more positive member of society, I’ve decided to bring back the Brew Review. Truthfully, I can’t guarantee that I’ll toss one up every week. But what I can promise is that when I do unholster the gun, I’m going to smoke every motherfucker in the saloon.

That’s right, I’m like a retired gunfighter, being called out of retirement for one more fucking showdown.

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Oh shit! I love me some Diablo III. I’ve been geeking out about it since it was revealed last year. I wants it, I needs it. My own, my precious! Ain’t nothing I want to do more than chase down El Diablo with a shitload of friends. Today at Blizzcon, Blizzard dropped the final class on us: the Demon Hunter. Fucking hotness. Hit the jump for the reveal video.

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Double frak. SyFy, not content enough to let Caprica shit all over my beloved Battlestar Galactica mythos is prepping a new prequel series that’ll detail the run of Willy “Husker” Adama. SyFy is kicking shit off with Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome in either late 2011, or early 2012. Motherfuckers. They will then parlay this shit into a new series.

io9:

The script, by Michael Taylor, was originally planned as an online series, but the network liked it so much that they decided to turn it into a possible new series on the network. Blood and Chrome takes place 20 years after Caprica and about 40 years before Battlestar Galactica.

Well, it could be worse, guys. It could be written by Jane Espenson, who fucking sucks. Not only were her episodes in latter BSG awful – hint, look for the shitty episodes, you’ll see her name attached – but she ripped fat narrative craps all over Caprica.

Michael Taylor, on the other hand, is legit. Dude wrote BSG season three’s Unfinished Business, and Crossroads Part I. Legit, ball-tingling episodes. So who knows. Maybe it’ll rock. Maybe it won’t. Whatever it is, it’s guaranteed to have more action, and shiz.

This is very much an action-adventure, war series. This is definitely dealing with people who are fighting the fight. … As you hope ‘Battlestar’ would do, it kind of comments on that process a little bit… but not in a preachy way, not in an issues-oriented way, not in a hitting-you-over-the-head way.

So we’ll see. More Viper piloting awesomeness? It could happen. I’m all over the place when thinking about this shit. Just remember, it could be worse. It could be Jane Espenson. Or fucking Bryan Singer.

Hit me with your thoughts in the box. Comments box.

Chris Samnee’s artwork on Thor: The Mighty Avenger is some of my favorite work in years. I hadn’t been drawn to the artist prior to this title, out of both ignorance and stupidity. But his lighthearted approach matches Roger Langridge’s scripts perfectly, and every panel seems to bleed the whimsical, expansive world of T:TMA. With that in mind, I was pretty stoked to come across this video over on Comics Alliance. This video is sped-up, but his actual work took only twenty-seven minutes. A feat apparently accomplished because, like me, Samnee is a Caffeine Warrior. A much, much, much more talented Caffeine Warrior, but nonetheless.

Comics Alliance:

Ever since I witnessed Thor: The Mighty Avenger artist Chris Samnee confess to downing inhuman amounts of coffee on a regular basis at this past summer’s Comic Twart panel at HeroesCon, I feel like I’ve had a better understanding of his equally inhuman art output (The man gets pages done!).

Amazing. Hit the jump to check out Samnee’s super-fast Batman drawing. And if you haven’t check out The Mighty Avenger already. For the love of god(s of Asgard).

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[Source: karismatic]

What the fuck is going on here, exactly? Unlike last week’s reveal of Kobe Brytant wielding the Infinity Gauntlet, 2/3 of this picture makes no sense. First off, there’s no way a self-absorbed douchebag like Lebron James would wield Captain America’s shit. Fucking preposterous. He’s someone like Norman Osborn. For years, he was totally tricking everyone, casting a spell so they thought of him virtuous. But now we all see his god damn goblin visage. Unless they’re riffing on Rob Liefeld’s classic Captain America atrocity. In which case, yes, James’ ego is as out-of-proportion as Liefeld’s anatomy.

And Kobe in Iron Man garb? Well, I suppose they’re both talented and self-aggrandizing douchebags. Still though.

I’m totally sold on Durant wielding Mjöllnir though. Like Thor, he’s a third beast that’s often overlooked, but still carries some righteous fury in his frame.

Alright, I’m totally done being a dork about this. Artwork is dope, too.

Apparently there is a dude who goes by the handle of Desk. And he is strong with the Super Street Fighter IV force. I am not. But Desk, this Desk chap, he can deliver the combo goodness. Homeboy is challenging anyone on the interwebs to replicate his 126-hit combo with Ms. Chun Li. Anyone who can pull it off will net a sweet $50. Now listen, I’m fucking hopeless. I can’t string together anything beyond a five-hit combo, and that’s only with Ryu! Why do I play as Ryu? Because when I was little, he was neat. Yeah, I said it. I’m one of those legion of Street Fighter gamers who never grew up, and just wants to throw fireballs ad nauseum.

Hit the jump to check out the video of Desk’s combo. And then do it, do it for me.

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Blazer Bratcher is an artist from Denver, Colorado, who was given a most righteous task: a commission by JJ Games to create a 3D Samus Aran out of old video game cartridges. Approximately 179 of them. Amazing. Hit the jump for more images of Bratcher’s glorious 8-bit construction.

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