#December2013

Watch: CHINA lands on the f**king MOON.

Yutu rover.

As I’ve intimated in other places – I don’t care what nation of humanity explores space, or for what reasons. I’m lumping us all together and considering it a win for us barely not-primates. This weekend China landed on the fucking moon. So I’m high-fiving for all of us.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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China launches LUNAR ROVER. All exploring the Moon and such.

China's Lunar Rover.

China’s on the moon! Or, their lunar rover shall be soon enough. The humanist in me is all like “fuck yeah, humanity’s back on the moon!” The jingoist with American pride is all, “god dammit, when are we going back?!”

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CASSINI captures EARTH and THE MOON from Saturn. Perspective++

Woah.

Behold the wonder of perspective! Yeah, it’s a grainy piece of shit picture. Still though! What it signifies is pretty outrageous. Thurr be in that picture the Blue Marble and the Moon. As seen from Cassini up in Saturn’s hood.

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Behold! A gravity map of the Moon! You didn’t know you wanted this.

BEHOLD THE GRAVITY MAP.

Using this map acquired through subterfuge (web browsing? WTF is that?), I intend on finding the top secret hideout of the Illuminati Trilateral Commission Group. You know, the one on the Moon where they plan all sorts of shit. Putting Prozac into our water. Convincing the mouthbreathers of the world that Big Bang Theory is funny. Canceling Rubicon. The truly nefarious acts. Once I find them, in a comfortable gravity pocket, then I begin building my rocket ship.

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NASA’s next robot moon walker is ATHLETE, promises to elegantly dispose our corpses.

Oh snap.

Just build them up! Yes, keep building these beautiful, and elegant robots. Nothing is going to make the robot apocalypse more delicious than momentarily contemplating how we created these versatile killing machines. Ones that now, thanks to NASA, go hang out on the moon afterwards.

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The Dude’s High 5s: Dual Roles

The Dude's High 5.

The concept of identical twins fascinates me.  No, not the Schwarzenegger/DeVito movie from the 80’s.  Actually having a duplicate of you walking around, interacting with the world is cool as hell.  It’s also great that twins are common enough that they aren’t treated like freaks … that’s reserved for sextuplets and the like.  What does my pointless drivel have to do with anything?  Well, today’s High 5 deals with actors pulling double duty, playing two or more parts in a movie.  When it done right, it’s impressive as hell.  Hit the jump for more.

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Russia sending probe to the Moon in 2015. Red (Lunar) Dawn!

The Moon!

The Ruskies are sending “a probe” to the Moon in 2015. This can only mean one thing. The Illuminati are considering partnering up with Putin The Tiger Wrangler, in an effort to expedite the secret terraforming of Mars. They will meet him on the Moon to show him the secret launch base. It is obvious. Google it.

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VOYAGER 1 has entered the ‘magnetic highway’ as it prepares to leave solar system.

Fare the well, Voyager 1. You’re currently hauling ass through the “magnetic highway”, as you approach the limits of our solar system. Keep in mind our wonderful moments together. Recall, if you will, the time we built your ungrateful ass. Fawn over the concept of being the first object we’ve sent out of our solar system. Dearest regards.

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The MOON has volcanoes and craters mixing it up. Get along, all ready!

NASA VIDEO: “Evolution Of The Moon” Is Cratery Bliss.

A smidge old, but I kept forgetting to post it. This is for you!, person who hasn’t seen this yet. NASA has released a video detailing the entire evolution of the Moon in almost three minutes. It’s goddamn fantastic.

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