Bungie has like, sort of technically revealed Destiny. It is a reveal, if you consider dropping a lot of buzzwords, hype, promises, and concept art as a reveal. Which I sort of do. However, at this point in the fucking charade, I imagine the rest of the public wants something more substantial. Don’t get me wrong, it is sexy concept art. But I mean, it is ephemeral as fuck. After years of murmurings, the company behind Halo sated its public with more morsels than anything else. C’mon Bungie. I want to be excited about your game. Throw me something concrete.
A shit load of art and story details from Bungie’s next work, Destiny has leaked. The company could have played it cool, denying the material. You know, brushing off their shoulder. In what is a bit surprising to me, the company has been all like, “Cyeah, that shit is ours. Hope you dig it, dick heads.” Hit the jump for info and images.
There were a lot of things I expected out of the Activision vs. Electronic Arts grudge match: namely wasting money and hair-pulling. What I didn’t expect was to find Bungie’s next game inadvertently revealed.
Bungie has moved on from the Halo universe, striking out into the realm of the third-party with a new title they have yet to reveal. Before departing they dropped this final tear-streaked wet kiss on their dedicated community, in the form of this ass-bursting infographic. Like there’s been 85,841,504 days worth of Halo played. Or the fact that there’s been more deaths in the series than people who have ever lived on Earth. Insane stuff.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Jeff Fletcher is an IT dude from Bungie studios. Home of Master Chief and that secret IP that keeps Halo geeks up in a sweat at night. Fletcher is also a dude who witnessed a shootout between two people and then made a citizen’s arrest.
The original Xbox and its controller were ungodly behemoths. Spat forth from a scabbed vagina of ill-fated design choices. Thankfully Microsoft fixed the controller problem mid-cycle and released one that you know, could be wielded by human beings. Time has passed though, and now they’re hilarious throwbacks. A shitty diaper of controller we can all laugh at.
Microsoft knows this, which is why they’re bringing them back for Halo Fest.
[Click to Enlarge. Source: Dueling Analogs via Gamefreaks]
This comic strip is amazing. And a beyond accurate representation of the invigorating and intellectually stimulating Xbox Live environment. While a Halo strip, I can assure you that a Modern Warfare 2 restaurant would bring the same quality conversation and ambiance.
The campaign trailer for Halo: Reach dropped yesterday, and I’m not impressed. Not, one, lick! And here’s the thing, I can’t really imagine anyone being impressed by it. I’ve read reviews of it from people that read something like “…I’ve never been a Halo fan, but this really made me interested.”
C’mon now. It’s as unimpressive visually as every other Halo game has been since the second one. And equally uninspired. It’s a bunch of dickbags in enormous armor staring off into space and doing other equally un-engaging things. If you’re Master Douche Fanboy, then I can see being excited by it. But if you’re on the fence, or furthermore, you don’t dig the franchise? I see no reason why this trailer would swing you.
Countless games have had sexier and more cinematic trailers cut. Now, I’m not saying that a sexy trailer equals a great game, but I am saying that if you weren’t convinced about Reach, I have no idea how a trailer that is made to look like dogshit by just about every trailer I’ve seen lately from a Call of Duty game, or Borderlands, of name a Gears of War, will persuade you.
Me? I’ve always been “eh” about Halo. I play the titles because they’re usually enjoyable for the duration, but I’ve never understood the Rampant Fapping that takes place, and I certainly see nothing special about this trailer. It didn’t dissuade me from buying it, but it certainly didn’t knock my socks off.
Want to be the judge? Hit the jump and check out the trailer.
Boston has been struck with some sort of water crisis. I’m not really sure what the crisis is; I just know that I can’t drink the water. Which naturally, makes me want to drink the water even more. Something about a water main breaking, and something, something, and then my eyes glaze over and I stop paying attention.
It’s all horse radish anyways. Apparently the worst thing it can do is give you diarrhea or something in a week. And let me tell you something, the shits and me are like peas and carrots. I actually prefer a nice liquid blast to some sort of sludgy hate crime. It makes clean-up so much easier.
Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.
Watching / Iron Man 2
If you’re any sort of frequent visitor to OL, you know that I have a dicklust for Iron Man 2/ RDJ / Scarlett Johansson / Tony Stark / Gadgets and Armor and Mechs that extends far beyond comprehensible scope. So yeah, the fucking Iron Man is returning for a second movie this Friday, and I’m stroking in anticipation.
Proverbially. It’s like, you know, just like, a metaphor. Or something.
Bear with me.
The movie isn’t doing as well as the original in the eyes of the critics, alas. What can you do? You know what they say about critics: cite them when they support your argument, dismiss them when they give you an opinion contrary to what you want to hear.
Either way, this movie is going to entertain me some some degree. I can feel it. Otherwise? Otherwise I’ll just lie to myself.
For years, Xbox fanboys have clung to Bungie. The studio has severed as a legit binkie for all sorts of choads and dickwads to use in their PS3 vs 360 argument. Now all that shit is going to change. With Bungie leaving Microsoft and signing a deal with Activision, the motherfuckers who made fat dudes and dorks ejaculate onto their Halo 3 Ridiculous Edition Spartan Helmet are going multiplatform. You can almost hear the screams of the legions of unwashed masses.
So how about Sony, who is obviously going to let Bungie slither into their disc tray with a grand smile. How are those fuckers feeling? Fucking fantastic: