HEY YOU KNOW WHAT AMAZON LIKES? FUCKING EVERYTHING. GOT ITS FINGERS IN LIKE INFINITY PIES. DRONES AND FUCK! DELIVERING MIKE AND IKES TO ME. NOW IT’S LIKE, FUCK IT. HOTELS. AD-SUPPORTED STREAMING. FUCK.
IT’S ABOUT TIME. Amazon is absolutely the devil. Absolutely ruining everything. Also absolutely essential to my life. And for months now I haven’t been able to order books from them because they’ve been beefing with Hachette. Now! Now though. It’s over.
Every once in a while I feel the need to do a cleansing, uncontrollable purge of my RSS reader’s “Saved for Later” folder. Today is the day, folks! Open your mouths, close your eyes, and thank whatever Deity you subscribe to. In this edtion we got some Rian Johsnon on Episode VIII love, pulsating stars, space-suits, Amazon buyin’ shit, and more.
Bet you thought Google had all that Twitch goodness tied-up, didn’t you? I certainly did, especially with Twitch’s new policies and shit smacking of draconian YouTube bullshit. But it appears that a new ch-ch-challenger has entered the capitalist arena, with Amazon winning the rights to Twitch. For $970 fucking million.
Is it called Amazon TV? Amazon Streaming Content? Original Content? Who fucking cares! Who fucking knows! What is reality, anyways? That’s what Dick wants us to ask. In general, and in his glorious Man in the High Castle. Which Amazon is adapting.
Amazon straight cleanin’ up creators from some of my favorite shows and turning them lose on producin’ original content for them. First Chris Carter, and now Shawn Ryan.
How is this for some Boardroom Maneuvering? Amazon and Hatchette have been beefing, and that’s left a lot of people opining that it’s the authors getting fucked. Now in what strikes this dumb-ass, completely business-unsavvy dude as a brilliant move, Amazon is offering Hatchette authors a 100% cut of their ebook sales.
This Amazon Fire Phone is fucking wild, man. Offering up all sorts of things you probably never wanted in a phone. And unlimited storage for photos, which is actually something that sounds pretty neat. But the rest? I don’t know. An app that turns it into a hot plate for coffee? Eh. Toggle that increases the radiation so you can kill your own cysts? Meh. Do we really need these?
Man. Amazon’s already shitting on my lazy, entitled, complacent shitty life because of their beef with Hachette Books. I can’t fucking pre-order the new book in The Expanse! Fuck! Ya’ll forcing me to go to Barnes & Noble, and that’s some shit. But now they’re feuding with Warner Bros., and would-be buyers of LEGO Movie are paying the goddamn price.
Here we be! Some “leaked” “maybe” pictures of Amazon’s upcoming 3D smartphone. I’m willing to stake my J-Law puppet collection on them being legit, though.