Bet you thought Google had all that Twitch goodness tied-up, didn’t you? I certainly did, especially with Twitch’s new policies and shit smacking of draconian YouTube bullshit. But it appears that a new ch-ch-challenger has entered the capitalist arena, with Amazon winning the rights to Twitch. For $970 fucking million.
Is it called Amazon TV? Amazon Streaming Content? Original Content? Who fucking cares! Who fucking knows! What is reality, anyways? That’s what Dick wants us to ask. In general, and in his glorious Man in the High Castle. Which Amazon is adapting.
Amazon straight cleanin’ up creators from some of my favorite shows and turning them lose on producin’ original content for them. First Chris Carter, and now Shawn Ryan.
How is this for some Boardroom Maneuvering? Amazon and Hatchette have been beefing, and that’s left a lot of people opining that it’s the authors getting fucked. Now in what strikes this dumb-ass, completely business-unsavvy dude as a brilliant move, Amazon is offering Hatchette authors a 100% cut of their ebook sales.
This Amazon Fire Phone is fucking wild, man. Offering up all sorts of things you probably never wanted in a phone. And unlimited storage for photos, which is actually something that sounds pretty neat. But the rest? I don’t know. An app that turns it into a hot plate for coffee? Eh. Toggle that increases the radiation so you can kill your own cysts? Meh. Do we really need these?
Man. Amazon’s already shitting on my lazy, entitled, complacent shitty life because of their beef with Hachette Books. I can’t fucking pre-order the new book in The Expanse! Fuck! Ya’ll forcing me to go to Barnes & Noble, and that’s some shit. But now they’re feuding with Warner Bros., and would-be buyers of LEGO Movie are paying the goddamn price.
Here we be! Some “leaked” “maybe” pictures of Amazon’s upcoming 3D smartphone. I’m willing to stake my J-Law puppet collection on them being legit, though.
Amazon is making 2014 the year they officially throw down the gauntlet with Google. “No!”, they yell. “We will be SKYNET. Not you!” Fuckers are making moves this year! Ingratiating themselves into every avenue of our distraction-laden lives. Set-top box. Drones. Comixology. Now releasing a phone.
The lumbering, heavy-lunged shamble towards the mono-culture continues on, friends. The latest merger between corporate entities isn’t as terrifying as Comcast and Time Warner. It’s more intriguing. Amazon, who pretty much sells Everything to All Of Us, has bought the number one provider of digital funny books.
A new challenger has entered the arena! It seems that everybody, everybody, everybody is in the set-top box game! Amazon’s swaggerlicious little ditty is called “Fire TV”, and if anything it’s pretty cheap.