#December2019

Microsoft is planning second next-gen Xbox that’s cheaper and has no disc drive. Different models GET!

Friends, Microsoft’s carrying their multi-model console approach over into the next generation. It’s leaked out that the company ain’t just dropping their beefy, all-powerful next-gen console. Nope! Nope. Additionally, they’re going to be less powerful model, sans disc drive, for less cheddar.  It makes sense! I’m going all-in on the outrageously powerful model. But, it makes sense.

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Xbox’s next console Project Scarlett won’t do VR because “no one’s asking for it” and I respect that shit

xbox project scarlett no vr

Let’s get it out of the way, you fucking pendants. Surely, some people are asking for VR. But, I’m in support of Microsoft’s decision not to do VR on Project Scarlett. Why? It’ll let the fuckers concentrate on why people buy a new XBOX: the fucking games. It’s a refreshing refocus. You know, after trying to be a jack-of-all-trades at the beginning of this console cycle with a fucking Kinect, and a TV tuner, and other bullshit.

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Microsoft ain’t working on a streaming-only Xbox, despite what we all heard this year. Personally? I don’t give a shit.

microsoft not streaming xbox

Friends, the streaming revolution ain’t arriving as soon as we expected. Sure, Google has revealed Stadia. But, neither Sony nor Microsoft is ready to go in dick-first. At least not quite yet. This isn’t a surprise on Sony’s part. However, everyone was readying themselves at E3 for Microsoft’s Big Streaming Reveal. And that shit didn’t happen, and apparently won’t be anytime soon.

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Nintendo Switch outsold PlayStation and Xbox in May. This makes sense, them consoles fucking oldddd

nintendo switch outsold xbox playstation may

The Nintendo Switch is still absolutely fucking beasting, friends. Meanwhile, the current iterations of the PlayStation and Xbox are starting to flag behind in monthly sales. But, this makes sense. The Nintendo Switch dropped two years ago, while the other two are closing in on six years old. Still, it’s an interesting time in the console wars, no?

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Microsoft is making Xbox body wash so you can smell like Mountain Dew and some other obvious joke!

xbox body wash

In case you need confirmation today that we are living in Hell, here you go. Xbox body wash.

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Microsoft is bringing Xbox Game Pass to the PC. The great uncoupling continues, as streaming pushes forward!

xbox game pass pc

Yes friends, Microsoft is bringing Xbox Game Pass to the PC. The Netflix-esque service will offer PC gamers a library of 100 games for a monthly fee. True, it’s not exactly streaming. But, it portends the future, which seems to suggest even companies like Microsoft and Sony will move away from the physical, and into the cloud. Consoles as brands, not as physical hardware. Or some shit.

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Microsoft says Xbox One finally getting that promised full keyboard and mouse support

microsoft xbox keyboard mouse support

Microsoft promised keyboard and mouse support for the XBONE way back in 2016. And while I can’t imagine anyone purchased the console based on that promise, those waiting for it are finally getting their wish. Soon.

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Microsoft’s next Xbox console will also have a cloud-only version

microsoft new xbox cloud only version

Microsoft’s working on a new XBOX. This much is obvious, is known. However, what’s interesting is that the company is working on a cloud-only iteration of the console that’ll only stream games. Sounds wild, I ain’t interested, though. Give me a nice physical, beefy console. How about you?

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Microsoft Reveals Xbox Game Pass, A Netflix-Style Gaming Subscription

microsoft xbox game pass

This is pretty goddamn awesome. Microsoft has revealed Xbox Game Pass, a gaming subscription services. $9.99 a month, over 100 games, any game you purchase will be discounted 20% off.

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Microsoft Revealing Its Xbox Project Scorpio On June 11

xbox project scorpio june 11

As someone who buys every new console, and is the contradiction of being both a console gamer and a graphics whore, I’m sweating this news.

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