#January2017
Watch: ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ In ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Is The Nightmare You’d Expect
Seeing Mario run around vaguely realistic humans in Super Mario Odyssey was already a nightmare. So, why not double down and imagine this ill-fitting juxtaposition in Grand Theft Auto 4? There is no reason, I say! No reason!
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Marvel announces ‘Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur’ by Reeder, Montclare and artist Bustos
What an odd fucking title. And man, am I ever stoked for odd, out of the normal titles from the Big Two. The announcement caught by eyes because of the presence of Amy Reeder, whom I totally love on Rocket Girl.
WTF: MARC MARON starting weekly comic with TONY MOORE
Get it? WTF? Marc Maron? Eh, whatever. So! A weekly Marc Maron comic. Somewhere, under the cloak of work clothes, Rendar Frankenstein is poppin’ an appreciable erection at this news. As Resident Marcaholic, I imagine he will be happy to get his fix of the comedian in all sorts of different mediums. Or maybe I’m fucking wrong.
Monday Morning Commute: Post-Con Craze.
Holy smokes.
Boston Comic Con 2013 turned out to be a couple of wonderful, wild, days. In the course of slingin’ t-shirts, debatin’ the message of said shirts, and snappin’ photos with cosplayers, the crew of Spaceship OL had an absolute blast. We got to meet up with some of the ever-faithful OL readers, we met Rich from Toucher and Rich, and at one point our very own Riff Simian started playin’ a goddamn guitar at the booth. Yowza!
I’m sure that in the days to come we’ll have some sort of BCC`13 recap that highlights some of the insanity that we just survived. It’d be lame of us not to give you such an insight. But right now, we have to get through the Monday Morning Commute!
That’s right, the weekend’s officially over and now it’s back to the tasks that put paper in our pockets. But as always, we have the MMC – the spot specifically set aside for sharin’ the strategies that’ll get us into the next weekend! Are you going to watch all of the Friday the 13th movies this week? Or is this finally the moment that you record your acoustic concept album about time-traveling so that you can save a young Michael Jackson from insanity? Oh, I know! Are you going to homebrew some beer and then drink it too early and then swear at the cat?!
How’re you planning to murder ennui?
I’ll get us started, but then hit up the comments section!
MICHAEL BAY takes a shot at HUGO WEAVING, and it’s…awesome? WTF.
Something I never thought would happen…has. Michael Bay has barfed up some sentiment that I can nod my head in agreement with. Recently Hugo Weaving noted that he wouldn’t want to play the Red Skull again, and also that he regretted doing voiceover work for the Transformers flicks. At the time, I thought it was a bit douche for Weaving to consider himself above rocking the Red Skull. I mean, bro. C’mon. You’re in Matrix Revolutions. Not only that, but to have no problem collecting a check for Transformers (terrible flicks, granted) and then coming out against it? Smacks of pretentious hypocrisy. Somehow. Fucking somehow, Michael Bay echoes my own sentiments.
Superman and Lois may NEVER date now? Oh New 52. You Funny.
Doesn’t matter that it has been nearly a year, the New 52 continues to entertain. You know, with its opaque canon. With its head-scratching decisions. One of those decisions being to send the DCU’s trajectory full Kingdom Come.
‘CHINESE ZODIAC’ TEASER TRAILER: Jackie Chan in a rollerblading suit. What the f**k, yes.
I hadn’t even heard of this shit until today, and now my mind is blown. Jackie Chan is all done up in a fucking rollerblading suit in the trailer for Chinese Zodiac. A film, which if it is anything like its teaser trailer, will be of the utmost amazing ridiculousness.
Hunger Games fans are racist, and so can you!
I haven’t read The Hunger Games series, but I did see the film on Sunday and very much enjoyed the hell out of it, especially since I didn’t have to yell at anyone for having their cell phones out. I was happy with the direction, the cinematography, the acting, and the casting — especially the casting. I mean, what the fuck did Lenny Kravitz give Satan in return for eternal youth? Dude looks maybe 25. Jennifer Lawrence, the sole shareholder at CP’s spank bank conglomerate, did a fabulous job as Katniss, and Amandla Stenberg made me weep like a little kid with a skinned knee during that scene. Everyone was flailing while we filed out of the theater, so much that I could literally see the exclamation points in people’s sentences. Nothing could harsh my buzz.
Then I saw the racist fuckery happening on Twitter and suddenly remembered the world is full of douchenozzles.
Scientists Implant FALSE MEMORIES In Mice. #INCEPTIONHORN
Scientists have implanted false memories in mice. The Inception horn is blowing like a mofuckah!
Monday Morning Commute: Rodrigo’s Wonder.
Rodrigo’s eyes went skyward, following the rocket as it pushed against unseen forces. Gravity. Defeatism. Self-appointed moral barometers. The seven-year-old was watching magic incarnate, and although he knew this to be the case, he couldn’t find the words to express it.
“It’s…it’s…it’s…” was all that Rodrigo exhaled when his opinion was polled.
Once the rocket had disappeared, Reggie tried to pull his kid brother towards the car. Unsuccessfully, of course. Rodrigo kept his neck craned, concentrating on the fading wisps of purple exhaust. Imagining the strange world the crew was going to explore. Contemplating how wonderful it’d be if the planet’s inhabitants actually accepted the offer.
From what the scientists said, they could be quite stubborn.
“D’ya think the aliens are going to come back with `em?” Rodrigo inquired through a gap-toothed grin.
“Well,” Reggie began, pausing to take his brother’s hand while crossing the street, “for their sake, I certainly hope so.”
“Why’s dat?”
“`Cause they’ll never get here on their own. And they’re hurtin’ for certain – more people than resources, more hatred than love. Sometimes even the brightest of rainbows can’t shine through the storm clouds. Doesn’t mean the rainbow ain’t there, jus’ needs a sweet breeze to clear out the air. Get what I’m sayin’?”
“Uh-huh,” Rodrigo mused, idly scratching his scalp. “The rocket-men are gonna go help the aliens `cause the aliens are in big-time trouble.”
“You got it, buddy.”
The seven-year-old pushed his legs into double-time to keep pace with his older brother. Other days, he’d dawdle behind. But at this moment, there was an electricity in the air and Rodrigo’s inquisitive mind was surging. So many details to consider and questions to answer.
“Hey Reggie, how long’ll it take the rocket-men to get to Earth?”
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Welcome to MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where I rummage through the entertainment-debris that’ll be occupying my mind during the workweek. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be doing to survive the 9-5 life. It’s like a show-and-tell cocktail with a nerdcore garnish.
C’mon, let’s give each other some bad ideas.
