Nintendo. Enough. Just give us this new Zelda already. These trailers are too sexy, the wait has been too long. Give us. Give me!
Woah. This week, Nintendo is officially ceasing production of the Wii U. I guess they’re fully switching (ha!) their focus to its successor.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is shaping up to be a fucking stunning, gorgeous spectacle. I thought that before this 40 minutes of gameplay, and I doubly think it now.
The new Nintendo console has been dated, arriving next year. That Legend of Zelda game we’ve all been sweating, because it was fucking promised for the fucking Wii U, has been dated as well, arriving next year (yeah, yeah, for the fucking Wii U as an afterthought whatever, fuck).
Oh. Well. Check it out. Another new Nintendo console, another wonky controller.
Paper Mario game? Sort of dope. Sort of neat. Working against it in my eyes? It’s NOT MY GODDAMN ZELDA GAME I WAS PROMISED. #InfinitelyEntitled But seriously, it looks pretty dope.
Man. They’re really doing it, Nintendo. Aren’t they? I stubbornly want to dismiss every report about their upcoming system, since I just snagged their current one last Christmas. And the company ain’t never given me the Zelda on the system they promised, nor a new 3D Mario. Which chaps my ass! But alas, it appears I’m just going to have to #RockTheSerenityPrayer and accept this.
Hey! Who needs a new Legend of Zelda game?! I mean, I would surely like one! But I’m not going to be getting it any time soon, it appears. Instead, Nintendo is offering me a futzing second Zelda HD Remake for the Wii U. Hard pass.