#November2017
Microtransactions account for nearly half of ‘GTA’ publisher Take-Two’s goddamn revenue
Games as services, bay-bee! Games as fucking transaction machines, bay-bee! Even if you hate both of these models, you better get used to them. ‘Cause they’re the goddamn profit engines for countless gaming companies, such as Take-Two.
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2K is teasing something ‘BioShock.’ My money is on a remaster
Earlier this summer, the Head Czar of Take-Two stated that there was a future for both the BioShock and Red Dead franchises. So it shouldn’t be that surprising that we are hearing that 2K is teasing something related to the former franchise. However, what is a bit unexpected is how close the tease is to the aforementioned statements. What exactly is 2K teasing? Who knows. But if I had to bet – given that they just confirmed the series is alive – it’s a “hey don’t forget about us while we work on a new installment” remaster of the original game(s).
Take-Two CEO: More ‘BIOSHOCK’ and ‘RED DEAD’ games planned
Take-Two’s CEO (whose name I’m not looking up right now) recently confirmed that his company, in fact, does like money. The Executive-Lord of Take-Two confirmed such a fact by announcing that the company plans on continuing two really fucking successful franchises. Red Dead Redemption and BioShock. Perhaps naively, and forgetting that companies like money, I was surprised about the whole BioShock thing.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ TRAILER: Full ‘LION KING’ Treatment For Our Horror-Win
Borderlands 2 goes In The Jungle. Wasn’t what you were expecting, but god dammit you’ll fucking love it.
ANALYST SEZ: ‘GTA V’ To Launch In Q1 2013; Sell 14 Million Copies.
Some wizard analyst is predicting that Grand Theft Auto V: Still Poorly Influencing Children is going to drop in the first of quarters, 2012+1. It will also sell a lot. Go figure.
Press Start: BioWare Eats A League Of Fart Cup Cakes
Welcome to Press Start!, the weekly column where we blab about the happenings in the world of gaming in the past seven days. It’s done-up as a list, ‘cause motherfuckers love lists. Audience participation is encouraged, so if you see something absent from the list let’s get some dialogue going in the comments section. However as you make your way to the microphone be mindful of the urine-and-tacks filled balloons hanging above. They will punish the spiteful.
‘GTA TV’ and ‘Rockstar TV’ Trademarked By Take Two. WHAT COULD IT MEAN?!
Take Two has trademarked both “GTA TV” and “Rockstar TV”, and Jesus Christ who knows what this could mean. It’s interesting, since the GTA series is so highly influenced by our pop-culture. While simultaneously generating it in video game form. Now it’ll be generating it in TV form…to generate it…to…to…
Domain Registrations Point Towards Grand Theft Auto V.
Hold the fuck on! There’s going to be another Grand Theft Auto? Why, I figured after the four games, the side-games, the episodic releases, and the portable titles or whatever, the series would have been wrapped up in a neat bow. Now you’re telling me that an obvious cash cow is going to get another installment? This, this startles me. So much for artistic integrity. What sort of proof are we looking at?
How about a bunch of domain registrations that are slathered in Rockstar’s typical satirical bite.
