#August2013

BEN AFFLECK signed on for MULTIPLE FILMS as BATMAN; will help ‘CREATE’ his rendition.

Ben fucking Affleck.

In the completely unsurprising department: Benny Affleck has signed his life away for multiple flicks, agreeing to play The Cowl’d One until roughly 2032. That’s just part and parcel when it comes to joining a superhero franchise these days. Last time I checked, Chris Evans’ had leased away his sperm’s rights to play Steve Rogers should he suffer a sudden end.

There is more, though. Affleck has agreed to help create his rendition of the Batman.

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RUMOR: GOSLING, BROLIN up for BATMAN in ‘BATMAN VS SUPERMAN’ or whatever

MARRIED AND IN LOVE AND SHIT.

Looks like 50% of the fucking Gangster Squad is becoming considered to don the cowl for Batman vs Superman vs Batman: The Dark Guy Strikes Things or whatever. And if they can’t get them, Warner Bros is only considering like 3,000 other people.

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FRANK MILLER and ZACK SNYDER meeting over ‘SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN.’ Ugh?

OH GOD ITS FRAT BOY ROCK HERE TO SHIT ON YOUR FAVORITES

So an overrated, under-talented hack of a director and a washed-up, ideologically shifted writer walk into a bar. That’s uh, that’s all I got. Oh, I guess I could say this: I could not give less of a fuck about Frank Miller and Zack Snyder meeting to discuss how the former is going to shit all over the buttocks of the latter’s seminal work. You know, in an attempt to pay homage. Or be inspired by it. Or whatever.

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