Here is a glimpse of Valve’s Steam Box. Often heard about in whispers, its name repeated somewhat erotically during a steamy shower, now we can see clear its corpus.
Valve ain’t fucking around, brolos! They’ve revealed their Steam Controller, and the son of a bitch is interesting. Ain’t got no analog sticks! Take that upside your conventional head. I’m intrigued.
Man! Fuck that earlier post. Yeah, I’m a slow ass motherfucker these days. So, Valve has revealed the Steam Box. The Steam Machine. The Steam Boxing Machine. You in, bro? Brodette?
As much as I am jazzed about the PlayTogether Four and the Xbox 720 Degrees of Xtreme, I find the Steam Box interesting as fuck. It seems as though it is going to offer a lot more versatility, and all the walled in garden bullshit of the consoles. I could be completely wrong. None the less, with Valve pumping out prototypes within the next few months, it seems that Gabe et al are going to challenge my wallet to a staring match. Sooner, rather than later.
Yeahhh! Here are the deets you have been waiting for. Assuming that you have been waiting for details regarding Valve’s Steam Box. Buddy Gabe sat down with The Verge and unleashed a torrent of titillating details. It’s all well and good, but let’s get real. Where the fuck is Half-Life 3.
Valve. They got themselves a bit of the fun as fuck Obi-Wan action going on. Marketing director Doug Lombardi has come down on the rampant rumoring that the company is preparing to unleash the Gabeatron Steam Box (my sources have confirmed this will be the name) soon.
So. Like the ancient proverb says, when it leaks info, it pours. Not only is Valve maybe-probably-definitely working on a console, but we may have our first look at it.