Double No Sh*t: Multiple Obi-Wan Kenobi movies in development
Oh word? Say it ain’t
obviously so? Remember last month when I posted an article with the elegant title, No Sh*t Rumor: Obi-Wan getting standalone ‘Star Wars’ flick? Well here’s the sequel. Double No Sh*t. Hopefully surprising no one, it turns out that Old Ben will be getting more than one movie.
‘STAR WARS: RECLAMATION’ is either NEW CARTOON or UTTER BUNK. What think you?
Here is a new Star Wars rumor. A sleuth upon the International Movie Database has uncovered a trove of documents purporting to detail the new cartoon in Uncle George’s Former Empire. Take a look at the deets, and then let me know what you think.
Pointless Rumor: ‘STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC’ movie may be in works.
Listen, everyone else is talking about this rumor. Why shouldn’t we? God dammit! Why shouldn’t we? Especially since KOTOR means so much to me. When the game dropped ten years ago (TEN YEARS?!), it taught me an important lesson. At the time, I was in the depths of a deep sadness. Star Wars had sucked for two movies in a row, and I was convinced. Convinced that the entire fucking Star Wars Thing sucked. Along came KOTOR and sliced through that blanket of statement, proving that the Universe itself was ripe. No, no. Star Wars didn’t suck. George Lucas did. So it would be particularly fitting to me if the game that proved a Universe’s Worth in the darkest of hours was given the filmic treatment. I don’t think it will, but hey. Let’s pretend.
Rumor: YODA getting his own ‘STAR WARS’ stand-alone movie. Oh god, his dialogue.
A man can’t even lay in bed and slowly drift asleep while fumbling through his RSS feed anymore. No, indeed not. Just as I was sloughing off the conscious coil for Sleep World, I came across this rather sizzling story. It smells like ice cream headache-inducing dialogue spread across a couple of hours. Though I have to say, if Disney wants to treat Star Wars much in the same way as Marvel treats their universe, I’d be fine with that. Stand alone movies running alongside bigger, more sprawling ensemble flicks. Give me them all, my Star Wars loins smolder at the very thought.
Rumor: Latest ‘STAR WARS’ director possibilities are FINCHER and FAVREAU.
David Fincher? Doing a Star Wars movie? Be still my heart. Then resurrect it using midi-chlorians so I can watch the flick.