SAM MENDES not directing next JAMES BOND FLICK. I frown.


I’m the token Skyfall masturbator around here, and I don’t give a shit. No one likes it as much as me, and I generally accept their criticisms. Even with them acknowledged, the combination of Daniel Craig whupping ass and Sam Mendes’ gorgeous visuals had me sprung. So, it is with a heavy heart that I read this dispiriting news.

Now go bring in Christopher Nolan, MGM. Do it.

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‘SKYFALL’ US POSTER has Bond sliding around on his ass. Dude, get up. Them some expensive pants.

New poster for Skyfall, with Danny Craig totally scuffing up his knickers. C’mon man!

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‘SKYFALL’ TRAILER: Bond’s abs, guns, seduction, and Javier Bardem’s wonky face.

Cyeah! Here’s the full trailer for Skyfall. It’s got everything you’d expect from Bond. Senseless violence. Senseless seduction. Him trapped to a chair while a villain monologues.

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‘Skyfall’ To Be Bond’s Debut On The IMAX. Enormo Craig Abs!

Oh golly I can only imagine the resplendent glimmer of masculine glory that will Daniel Craig’s taut body splayed across an IMAX screen. It’s coming! Be prepared. Take a towel, hide your children.

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