Weekend Open Bar: Call The Ball, Dickhead

weekend open bar call the ball

Oh, golly gee, oh golly gee fucking willikers! It’s the Weekend! This is the Open Bar! If you’re reading this, you’re alive! You’ve made it through another week! Or, you’re proof that there’s some sort of thin membrane we cross upon death, only to haunt others from Beyond. That said, welcome! Be you mortal, immortal. Trapped in a perpetual liminal state, or coasting towards death along with me!

Fuck me, fuck me sideways! Where am I? What was I doing?

Oh, oh yeah! Welcoming you to the weekly weekend wanking Open Bar!

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Monday Morning Commute: four and three and two and one!

monday morning commute four and three and two and one!

Hey! It’s Monday Morning Commute, on a Tuesday! Again! Man, truthfully? There ain’t much going on in my life right now. Just the humming doldrums of the post-Holiday, pre-Spring existence here in the Northeast. It’s cold! That’s whack. It’s getting lighter out earlier and earlier! That’s dope.

And the forthcoming notables?

They’re the various spectacles and testicles-tickling activities helping me make it through the ashen week.

I hope you’ll join me in the comments section, and let me know what you’re looking forward to this week. To be honest, I’m in a bit of a rut. So, I could use anything you can suggest. Hit me. Hit me!

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‘Resident Evil 2’ Remake Trailer: Return to Raccoon City, Jan. 25, 2019

First off, this looks fucking amazing. Second off, I like how hard Capcom is dunking on Square here. I mean, think about it. They have a release date for this fucking game, while Square hasn’t even shown FF7 remake footage yet.

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‘Resident Evil’ team is focusing on virtual reality games. Oh.


I don’t really sweat anything that the Resident Evil team does these days, after Resident Evil 6 and all. But I definitely give no fucks about their endeavors if they’re focusing on virtual reality games. That’s just me. How about you?

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Capcom announces ‘Resident Evil 2’ remake is officially happening

Resident Evil 2.

Man. Remember when the beloved Japanese gaming companies from the halcyon days of gaming’s youth made wonderful titles? And didn’t just alternate between remaking those vaunted games, and pumping out crappy new installments in the franchises? I mean, I guess a part of me is excited that Capcom is remaking Resident Evil 2. But a better chunk of my psyche is wishing they weren’t so fucking adrift that they could pull off an excellent Resident Evil 7.

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