Sony has shipped its last ever PlayStation 3 in Japan. Fare thee well, faithful console. In the previous generation I was a dedicated XBOT, but I have returned to the Sony fold this generation. So while I never appreciated you as much as I should have, none the less I am sad to see you go. In Japan. Or something. Who the fuck knows.
It’s eerie to waltz around a world I’ve seen in trailers on and off since 2011. Eerie and awe-inspiring. Columbia is another City 17; avid gamers will hopefully feel happy to hear me draw the comparison.
There’s been so much said about the game, both from two years’ worth of previews and advance (groan) exclusive reviews over the past week. I won’t waste your time with fluff; here are some (spoiler-free) thoughts from my five-hour foray into Columbia so far.
I have smashed together a couple of interesting reports for you folks. Taken them by their quaint domes and mashed, combining them into a one-stop servicing for all your Sony going Intangible needs.
Wouldn’t this be some shit! Sony has filed a patent for a mechanism or some kind of wizardry that interrupts Tommy Jerkin’ Loins’ game of Uncharted 3 to push soda pop. My goodness.
I was really high on The Last of Us when the first trailer dropped back in December; some of us around here weren’t. This second trailer has kept my blood flowing into all the juicy places. Played out zombies? Familiar looking protagonist? Juno Girl? I don’t care. I’m sold. Sold, sold, sold.
Sony’s been working on a Super Smash Bros. equivalent. We’ve known that for a while. Now we know the name of it, and it is so fantastically awful my ass clapped. Yeah dude. My ass. It clapped.
You have to appreciate Sony’s desire to swagger despite getting hacked this year. Global strategy Fascist Plotter for Sony So Saida has dropped some more encouraging words regarding the attack that spread like a blight across the network and left all of us X-bots giggling. What’d he say? Wasn’t no thang, we made the dough!
Press Start!, the week of E3. There was a time when E3 was a wondrous occasion. Those days are gone now, like leaves from a tree. With the advent of the Internet, everything is known weeks prior. Secrets exposed, dissected. Shit is passé before it’s even revealed. Take for example Nintendo’s Wii U. While I’ll admit that seeing any new console in motion gets me up, it would have truly blown my asshole out if they could have kept the entirety of it secret until the conference.
With that in mind, let us not spend the entirety of our fleeting brain-focus-capacities on regurgitating the quasi-reveals and appreciable moments of the Big Three at the show. Let us instead turn our ADD-addled brains towards shooting the shit about the show. Deal? Press Start!’s usual conceit is pressed pause in lieu of some geek spit.
Pigs! If oogling Catwoman from afar in Batman: Arkham City wasn’t good enough for you, now you’ve hit the jackpot. Selina Kyle isn’t just going to be a latex-clad foil and sexual dynamo for the players to drool over. No sir! She’s going to be a fully playable character. A manipulable fetish object for everyone to enjoy. This was revealed today in an impressively sexist trailer complete with gratuitous shots of ass, glistening lips, and a “warrior pose” which has Kyle arching her back, pushing out her tits, and posing for your enjoyment.
Female empo-meow-erment, lol, get it? Awful, I know.
Hit the jump for the reveal trailer.
Sony’s having a rough fucking go of it this year. Latest case in point: the PSN calamity which has kept may a dork aflutter with video game website news is going to cost them $171 million.