#August2016
DC’s ‘Shazam!’ movie is set in the DC Film Universe. Yeah, no crap?
Apparently it’s news that The Rock’s Shazam! movie is going to be set in the DC Film Universe. I mean, was there speculation that it wasn’t going to be? I don’t know. It’s Friday afternoon, slow news day, here have this morsel of #nonnews, folks.
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No s**t: Daniel Bruhl playing Baron Zemo in ‘Captain America: Civil War’
When Daniel Bruhl was cast pretty much everyone thought he would be playing Baron Zemo. Now it’s confirmed. Did that shake the hairs off your tits? Are you still standing? Yeah, me too.
No Sh*t Rumor: Obi-Wan getting standalone ‘Star Wars’ flick
In what is apparently a *rumor*, but what strikes me as *no fucking shit*, there’s murmurings that Obi-Wan is getting his own standalone movie. Like, this is obvious, right?
GO FIGURE: DARREN ARONOFSKY and PARAMOUNT battling over ‘NOAH’ FINAL CUT
Oh God, I totally couldn’t have envisioned this! Psyche! Tricked you! Darren Aronofsky and Paramount are battling over the final cut of the director’s eco-disaster biblical nightmare. Apparently Paramount somehow suffered the delusion that Aronofsky made accessible flicks, and saw fit to give him roughly 3-zillion dollars for this blockbuster. Supposed blockbuster. Probable failure.
Carrie Fisher returning as Leia in ‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII.’ No s**t.
Like, we’re all pretty sure that the original Three Star Folk are going to be back for Episode I+IV+III, right? Is this news? Or just another excuse for me to masturbate into the empty shell of my Jar Jar Binks Pepsi can?
Gabe Newell: Valve will release its own console-esque PC for living room.
Gabe Newell! Confirming what the lot of us already knew! Me! Reporting it days after it was first confirmed. Hey, whatever, bro.
