Listen, if we’re going to land humans on the Moon in 2024, we gotta get this shit going. One of the first steps? Sending Artemis I up to the Moon in February 2022 for an unmanned mission.
Motherfucking Mars used to have a lake, dudes. Let’s get there, terraform that shit, and then start this whole shit show all over again. Maybe? Word? I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Unless I ain’t? Anyways, fucking hell, let’s just be stoked about this find.
Where the fuck is my fucking jet pack? We were promised jet packs! Instead, we got climate crisis! This ain’t the future pop culture promised! I mean, the only time travel we fucking got is Texas hurtling backwards in time! However, apparently it ain’t all dogshit. Motherfucking NASA is testing electric air taxis, and, okay, this is dope.
NASA’s Mars Rover may on site of Ancient Pond, not huge lake as previously thought. Water is water is water, bro.
Okay, I know that water is not water is not water. Like, there’s a strong difference between a fucking ancient pond and a huge lake. But, either way, I’m fucking stoked for what the NASA Mars Rover is studying. And besides, this is just one new theory about what the fuck happened in the Gale crater. We still don’t fucking know! The cosmos, man.
NASA scientists have identified more subsurface lakes on the Red Planet, folks. While they are likely frozen, I still find this to be a bad ass development.
Honestly, I ain’t never heard of Rocket Lab. That is until today, when it was announced they will be designing spacecraft for NASA’s Mars mission. Hey, whatever the fuck it takes! Hey, whomever the fuck it takes! Let’s get our asses to Mars.
Absolutely no news about Venus missions would be complete without me being a dork. You know, referencing The Expanse and shit. So here we go! NASA is returning to Venus for two missions by 2030, and yup, you got it. Protomolecule time.
Cloudy days here on the Blue Marble? Fucking suck. Cloudy days on Mars? A novelty, especially when Curiosity sends back images of them.
The NASA Rover has detected organic salts on the surface of Mars. While I’m too dumb to understand the true implications of this discovery, I do know that it portends well for the potential for life on the planet. Both in the past, and potentially the present. Fucking rad, man!
Astronomers Capture a Star Being Stretched Out and Wrapped Around a Black Hole. Called “Spaghettification” Which Rules, Too.
For the first time ever, astronomers have caught a star being spaghettified by a black hole. Not fucking around, that’s the term! It’s used to describe when a star has wrapped its own dumb ass around a supermassive black hole.