NASA’s TESS mission finds Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone. Which is rad and all, but like, it’s 100 light-years away

nasa tess earth sized planet habitable zone

On one hand, I want to be really stoked about NASA finding an Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone. But, at the same time we’re doing a good job of toasting ourselves before we get anywhere near a planet 100 light-years away. You know?

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Curiosity Rover finds weird oxygen fluctuations on Mars. We’re on to you, Illuminati!

curiosity mars oxygen

Ha! I knew the fucking Illuminati was hiding out on Mars. Now, it’s pretty much all but confirmed. Okay, okay, maybe not. But still. NASA’s Curiosity Rover has detected mysterious oxygen fluctuations on the Red Planet. Either way, it’s fucking awesome.

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NASA is seriously considering sending an orbiter to Pluto. Let’s fucking go, NASA! Let’s go!

nasa pluto orbiter

NASA, when considering whether or not to send an orbiter to Pluto, I suggest the following. Say yes. Always say yes when considering to send an orbiter anywhere.

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Space Swoon: A gorgeous glimpse at four galaxy mega-clusters colliding!

Fuck yeah! The Chandra X-ray Observatory snagged this righteous picture! It’s a capture of four galaxy mega-clusters colliding.

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Japan is going to help NASA build a space station near the Moon for the Artemis Program. Fuck yeah, collaboration!

japan nasa space station moon

Japan and NASA are working together to build a motherfucking space station near the Moon. It’s part of NASA’s quest to get our asses to Mars, and return to the Moon. And, I’m stoked.

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NASA has unveiled the future spacesuits astronauts will wear to the Moon by 2024

nasa spacesuit 2024 moon

NASA has a mandate, folks. They need to get motherfuckers to the Moon by 2024. And perhaps obviously, a lot of shit is going into this. Including, but not limited to, spacesuits for the astronauts’ fleshbags. Spacesuits which the agency has given a look at.

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Watch: Astronomers capture black hole shredding a star. Space is so fucking metal!

My friends, yet again astronomers have captured some metal-as-fuck activity. A NASA satellite has captured a blackhole shredding a star.

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The International Space Station captures Hurricane Dorian’s sublime horror

Hurricane Dorian is a beautiful monster. Beautiful, yes. But, also considerably destructive. Here’s a glimpse at it from the ISS.

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NASA confirms its mission to Jupiter’s moon Europa to hunt for signs of life. Go, go, go!

nasa jupiter europa

NASA has confirmed it’s going to Jupiter’s moon Europa, folks. Launching a sumbitch up into the Cosmos to hunt for life. Expected launch date? Somewhere between 2033 and 2035.

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NASA’s exoplanet hunting TESS telescope captures mysterious supernova, going above and beyond its job

nasa exoplanet tess supernova

NASA’s TESS has spotted a mysterious supernova, friends! Said supernova left behind hydrogen, which, apparently, ain’t supposed to be found in a white dwarf.

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