Scientists have repaired injured spinal cord using patient’s own stem cells. Holy fucking future, friends!

scientists repaired injured spinal cord using patients own stem cells

How is this for a welcome blast in the ass from the Future? Scientists have repaired a patient’s spinal cord, using their own stem cells. The patients reported substantial improvements to key functions, just weeks after the cells were injected. Mamma mia, the fucking implications!

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Scientists have successfully bioprinted functional human “mini-livers” and the future is fucking wild!

scientists bioprinted human liver

Man, oh man. Ain’t the future bonkers? Scientists have successfully printed some motherfucking human mini-livers. And, they are capable of all performing all the functions of human livers. Such as? You know, “building proteins, storing vitamins and secreting bile” and shit. Amazing. Admittedly, there is still far, far to go from these organoids being actual livers. But, it’s a rad as fuck step.

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Engineer finds way to possibly pull diseases from blood using magnets. Just look at this fucking sentence!

engineer disease magnets

An engineer has found a potential way to pull diseases from blood using magnets. Listen, get out of my ass. I know this may never come to fruition. But, just the fact that it’s a possibility gets me horny for science.

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Japan is offering $1 billion research grant for human augmentation and cyborg technology. The middle finger to mortality, comrades!

japan human augmentation cyborg

Japan is offering some serious cheese for human augmentation and cyborg research. Pretty awesome, no? Also, pretty bold of them that there’s a future for the planet that’s worth existing on, no?

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The Future! – Doctors have implanted a 3D-printed vertebra for first time

Three-Dee Vertebra

Man, I’m falling behind on the times. First, I didn’t know that water clouds were really fucking rare in the solar system, and now it appears that motherfuckers are straight-up changing out bones with 3D-printed replacements these days. And I had no idea! But, I’m totally hip to the vertebra scene, man. For instance. I totally know that it was just recently that a 3D-printed vertebra was implanted in a human for the first time.

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Fuck wit dis.

Man. No wonder when I was thirteen I could remember every creature in the Cantina, recite lines from my favorite books, and generally have a more cogent experience drifting through the world. I played Super Mario 64 all fucking day.

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This is either terrifying game-over material, or the lube you’ve been looking for to stroke your cyberpunk bits with. A group of scientists Daring to Approach the Lords have concocted a way to read letters. Directly from your fucking brain.

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HUMAN TOOTH grown using STEM CELLS taken from PEE. Discuss.


Yeahhh, boi! Getting some fucking teeth grown. Which is very, very good for me. I can literally feel my teeth rotting out of my head. Stem cells from pee? Stem cells from anything, just get me new chompers.

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This machine can SEQUENCE A GENOME in two days. Science is good.

Marvel at the Future, friends. Wrap your arms around it, for it is here. This wunder-machine is capable of sequencing the genome of new born babies in a mere two days. Mind-boggling stuff.

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Scientists create ARTIFICIAL JELLYFISH from a RAT’S HEART. Yeah, science!

One day some brilliant biophysicist was hanging out at the New England Aquarium when he thought something I would have never dreamed. Dude said to himself, “I can build a jellyfish”, whereas usually I’m like “man…the fish, they like, swim. Really well.”

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