I had a whole post typed up about this news, filled with my usual idiocy and snark. But then my computer froze. Oh well. Mass Effect: Andromeda‘s studio is dead, the franchise is frozen, and I’m happy about the former and sad about the latter.

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Mass Effect: Andromeda is a broken ass, piece of shit game, which no one cares about anymore, that was made by a studio which no longer exists. Thus, the news that it won’t be getting single-player DLC  shouldn’t surprise anyone.

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Mass Effect: Andromeda. Less than two weeks away, comrades. Get hype. To find a new home for humanity.

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The whole thrust of the new Mass Effect is to find a new home for humanity. Well, BioWare has dropped a trailer exploring the potential resting sites for us denizens of the Blue Marble.

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Fuck. Mass Effect: Andromeda is coming. Fuck! Fuck yes.

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Oh man. Oh man, oh man! Not only did we get a release date for Mass Effect: Andromeda yesterday. We were also gifted some gameplay footage. Which, I will tell you, I didn’t watch. I want to go into this fucking game fresh. F-r-e-s-h!

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Holy shit. Holy shit. Mass Effect: Andromeda has an actual release date. March 21, 2017. Oh, and March 23rd in Europe. Holy shit. Holy shit.

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Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit! Actual, real, actually real Mass Effect: Andromeda gameplay footage. I need, need, need, need this game.

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Fuck yeah! Celebrate N7 Day an official Mass Effect: Andromeda cinematic trailer! Though, I have to say. I want more information! I want a fucking release date! I want a substantial amount of gameplay! I’ve been waiting nearly five fucking years!

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BioWare has dropped a new teaser for Mass Effect: Andromeda. And brothers, and sisters, it’s got me goddamn sprung.

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