‘Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’ Final Trailer: Well fuck me I’m interested in this show!

Somehow I went from shitting hard, deep, and vigorously on both House of the Dragon and the new LOTR show to enjoying the former and being stoked for the latter. Life comes at ya fucking fast, eh? Whatever! I’d rather admit I’m stoked after watching this final trailer for Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power than deny myself a dope experience.

Read the rest of this entry »

Amazon’s ‘Lord of the Rings’ series is dropping September 2, 2022. Goddamn that’s a fucking wait!

amazon lord of the ring series september 2 2022

Amazon has dropped the release date for its Lord of the Rings series. That’s the good fucking news. However there is bad news, motherfuckers. The wait is more interminable than the series the show is based on. It ain’t arriving until September 2, 2022!

Read the rest of this entry »

Amazon’s ‘Lord of the Rings’ series casts ‘Bandersnatch’ star Will Poulter as lead. Sure, okay, I have no opinion on this.

lord of the rings amazon will poulter

Amazon’s Lord of the Rings has cast Will Poulter as the lead. It is a series that I will absolutely not be watching. That said? The dude is a good actor.

Read the rest of this entry »

That ‘Lord of the Rings’ TV series for Amazon is going to be a prequel. ‘Cause why not the teats must be milked

lord of the rings amazon prequel series

Hey! How do the powers that be at Amazon compensate for pretty much all of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit having been beaten into paste, snorted, puked up, and snorted again? ‘Cause, you know, they’ve got a TV series coming? Prequel, baby! Ah yes, that insipid fucking narrative technique.

Read the rest of this entry »

Amazon in talks for a ‘Lord of the Rings’ TV series, in case the franchise wasn’t already paste

amazon lord of the rings tv series

I thought Peter Jackson and his nauseating ocular puke jobs masquerading as Hobbit movies had already stretched Tolkien as far as he could go. But, I was wrong! Amazon is taking another stab at extracting every ounce of wonder from the franchise.

Read the rest of this entry »

Peter Jackson and his ‘LOTR’ team are adapting ‘Mortal Engines’

peter jackson mortal engines

Peter Jackson and the writing team behind Lord of the Rings are adapting Mortal Engines for the big screen. Jackson will be writing the script with Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens, and Christian Rivers will be directing.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tolkien’s 88 year-old ‘BEOWULF’ translation finally published


Oh shit! Tolkien’s 88 year-old translation of “Beowulf” is finally seeing the light of day! I can’t fucking wait! In all honesty I didn’t even know this shit existed. However, it is certainly fucking cool that we will see the Hobbit King’s translation of a work which Surely Influenced Him. GOOD LUCK fucking topping HEANEY’S TRANSLATION THO, bro.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rumor: Universal and Tolkien Estate planning Middle-earth Theme Park. Walk the boring walk yourself!

Naw, I’m just playing. I want to go to Middle-earth. It seems like a pretty awesome place. Just walking around with your bros, hugging and tickling pretty much on the reg. Fall down some hills, finger vaginal symbols and fear its influence. Command ghost armies. Fly giant eagles like way, way too late into the adventure. Let’s get this theme park going.

Read the rest of this entry »

New dinosaur named after SAURON from ‘Lord of the Rings.’

Hell yeah! While it isn’t exactly the embodiment of the Evil like his character in LOTR, a dinosaur is a pretty menacing thing to hang the name Sauron on.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY’ gets 20 new images. Including Legolas’ dad.

Here’s a truckload of new pictures from The Hobbit: Bloated Subtitles. Nothing really tremendous in them for me, but I’m not particularly excited about the whole endeavor at this point.

Read the rest of this entry »