Kevin Smith is bringing a ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’ animated series to Netflix. Sure? I guess?
Silent Bob is bringing a motherfucking Masters of the Universe animated series to Netflix. How do I feel about this? Not sure. I love Kevin Smith, the dude. As far as Kevin Smith the creator? It’s been, uh, a bit since he did something for me. Like, we’re talking Chasing Amy.
Believe it or not, before he was Brian Marvel Bendis, the creator worked on a Sam and Twitch comic book, and that’s where I discovered the writer. And loved him! And the title! So while I’m reticent to fully embrace anything helmed by Kevin Smith, I’m very intrigued by this news.
Hey! Party like its 2000! I have no desire to see a new Jay And Silent Bob movie. I’m going to cling on to my fuzzy Clerks nostalgia and push the rest of it to the side.
I first saw The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai last month, and I fucking *loved it* through and through. What a coked out masterpiece of 1980s history. But a TV series? Being adapted by Kevin Smith? I’m cautious, at best.
Part of me wonders if I would still enjoy Mallrats in a juvenile, nostalgic manner. But the rest of me is terrified to see what I would find. That same part is also cringing at this still-developing sequel.
Generally I troll Stephen King because Bateman and Rendar have both admitted to me under chemical duress that they’ve masturbated into copies of The Dark Tower. But I’m going to be the straight-man here. And far be it for me to critique what people jerk-off into. The Stand seems cool, but I haven’t read it. So I don’t know how to react to this news.
Kevin Smith is giving us what the Marvel Universe (and to be fair the DC Universe, and all the other sorts of Comic Book Universes) seem reluctant to do: a superhero flick starring women. Specifically, teenage women. Most specifically, Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughters. You read that right.
Darkseid is going to be the villain in the upcoming Justice League movie. If you believe the rumor. Or have common sense. Or you’re secretly an employee of Warner Bros. and have had access to the script. One of those. I mean — this is obvious, ya?
This is about that time I found out that I had a hairy asshole. I remember it like it was seventeen years ago, which is to say I remember very little about it. It was a balmy summer night (I’m making this up), I was in an AOL chat room trying to cyber with anyone who would let a precocious fourteen year-old with a trigger-scrotum digitally ejaculate on them. Gender, age, ethnicity, religion, political creed, didn’t matter.
(I’m making up about only 40% of this now.)