#February2017

Kevin Smith Helming ‘Sam and Twitch’ TV Series For BBC America

kevin smith sam and twitch bbc america

Believe it or not, before he was Brian Marvel Bendis, the creator worked on a Sam and Twitch comic book, and that’s where I discovered the writer. And loved him! And the title! So while I’m reticent to fully embrace anything helmed by Kevin Smith, I’m very intrigued by this news.

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Kevin Smith Announces New ‘Jay And Silent Bob’ Film

kevin smith new jay and silent bob movie

Hey! Party like its 2000! I have no desire to see a new Jay And Silent Bob movie. I’m going to cling on to my fuzzy Clerks nostalgia and push the rest of it to the side.

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Kevin Smith resurrecting ‘Mallrats’ as a 10-Episode TV Series

‘The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai’ being adapted by Kevin Smith for TV

buckaroo

I first saw The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai last month, and I fucking *loved it* through and through. What a coked out masterpiece of 1980s history. But a TV series? Being adapted by Kevin Smith? I’m cautious, at best.

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Kevin Smith’s ‘Mallrats’ sequel is called ‘MallBrats’

Mallrats.

Part of me wonders if I would still enjoy Mallrats in a juvenile, nostalgic manner. But the rest of me is terrified to see what I would find. That same part is also cringing at this still-developing sequel.

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‘The Stand’ director says it will be four movie mega event.

the stand

Generally I troll Stephen King because Bateman and Rendar have both admitted to me under chemical duress that they’ve masturbated into copies of The Dark Tower. But I’m going to be the straight-man here. And far be it for me to critique what people jerk-off into. The Stand seems cool, but I haven’t read it. So I don’t know how to react to this news.

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Kevin Smith making a teenage girls-starring superhero flick.

Kevin Smith.

Kevin Smith is giving us what the Marvel Universe (and to be fair the DC Universe, and all the other sorts of Comic Book Universes) seem reluctant to do: a superhero flick starring women. Specifically, teenage women. Most specifically, Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughters. You read that right.

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Rumor: DARKSEID totally the villain in ‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ movie

Darkseid

Darkseid is going to be the villain in the upcoming Justice League movie. If you believe the rumor. Or have common sense. Or you’re secretly an employee of Warner Bros. and have had access to the script. One of those. I mean — this is obvious, ya?

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Opinions Vary: PUBERTY IS WILD

PUBERTY

This is about that time I found out that I had a hairy asshole. I remember it like it was seventeen years ago, which is to say I remember very little about it. It was a balmy summer night (I’m making this up), I was in an AOL chat room trying to cyber with anyone who would let a precocious fourteen year-old with a trigger-scrotum digitally ejaculate on them. Gender, age, ethnicity, religion, political creed, didn’t matter. 

(I’m making up about only 40% of this now.)

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Monday Morning Commute: Climbin’ Aboard, Slingin’ My Words

Slingin' Words.

Holy smokes.

It’s been a long goddamn while, but I’ve finally managed to find my way back to Spaceship OL. What’s been keepin’ me? Why’s Caff-Pow been forced to man the wheel without my navigational assistance? Well, we were pushing the `ole Nerd-Bird through some specially turbulent space-waters and I went to check on the chimp cages. In the process, I fell overboard.

Yes, I’d been drinkin’.

Anyways, I ended up getting sucked into an Ennui Vortex and was propelled beyond my control through some of the vilest scenarios of my entire existence. There were Responsibility Phantoms and Work Monsters and Accountability Ghouls. Hell, at one point I floated through a strait that saw the Stress-Scylla on one side and the Overtime-Charybdis on the other.

It was terrible!

But lo! and behold! I survived! Here I am! The one and only Rendar Frankenstein, hack-writer extraordinaire, in the digital-flesh! And you’d better believe I’m here for some haphazard word-slingin’! So let’s shuffle off the stains of yesterday and strap on our immortal foils! After all, this is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, the spot for sharing ideas about actualizing spiritual potential! How do we survive the onslaught of everyday malaise?

First, I’m goin’ to run you through some of the keys I’m using to unlock my mind. Then, you hit up the comments section and share the strategies you’ll be using to break open your idea-doors!

C’mon!

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