Believe it or not, before he was Brian Marvel Bendis, the creator worked on a Sam and Twitch comic book, and that’s where I discovered the writer. And loved him! And the title! So while I’m reticent to fully embrace anything helmed by Kevin Smith, I’m very intrigued by this news.
Hey! Party like its 2000! I have no desire to see a new Jay And Silent Bob movie. I’m going to cling on to my fuzzy Clerks nostalgia and push the rest of it to the side.
I first saw The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai last month, and I fucking *loved it* through and through. What a coked out masterpiece of 1980s history. But a TV series? Being adapted by Kevin Smith? I’m cautious, at best.
Part of me wonders if I would still enjoy Mallrats in a juvenile, nostalgic manner. But the rest of me is terrified to see what I would find. That same part is also cringing at this still-developing sequel.
Generally I troll Stephen King because Bateman and Rendar have both admitted to me under chemical duress that they’ve masturbated into copies of The Dark Tower. But I’m going to be the straight-man here. And far be it for me to critique what people jerk-off into. The Stand seems cool, but I haven’t read it. So I don’t know how to react to this news.
Kevin Smith is giving us what the Marvel Universe (and to be fair the DC Universe, and all the other sorts of Comic Book Universes) seem reluctant to do: a superhero flick starring women. Specifically, teenage women. Most specifically, Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughters. You read that right.
Darkseid is going to be the villain in the upcoming Justice League movie. If you believe the rumor. Or have common sense. Or you’re secretly an employee of Warner Bros. and have had access to the script. One of those. I mean — this is obvious, ya?
This is about that time I found out that I had a hairy asshole. I remember it like it was seventeen years ago, which is to say I remember very little about it. It was a balmy summer night (I’m making this up), I was in an AOL chat room trying to cyber with anyone who would let a precocious fourteen year-old with a trigger-scrotum digitally ejaculate on them. Gender, age, ethnicity, religion, political creed, didn’t matter.
(I’m making up about only 40% of this now.)
It’s been a long goddamn while, but I’ve finally managed to find my way back to Spaceship OL. What’s been keepin’ me? Why’s Caff-Pow been forced to man the wheel without my navigational assistance? Well, we were pushing the `ole Nerd-Bird through some specially turbulent space-waters and I went to check on the chimp cages. In the process, I fell overboard.
Yes, I’d been drinkin’.
Anyways, I ended up getting sucked into an Ennui Vortex and was propelled beyond my control through some of the vilest scenarios of my entire existence. There were Responsibility Phantoms and Work Monsters and Accountability Ghouls. Hell, at one point I floated through a strait that saw the Stress-Scylla on one side and the Overtime-Charybdis on the other.
It was terrible!
But lo! and behold! I survived! Here I am! The one and only Rendar Frankenstein, hack-writer extraordinaire, in the digital-flesh! And you’d better believe I’m here for some haphazard word-slingin’! So let’s shuffle off the stains of yesterday and strap on our immortal foils! After all, this is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, the spot for sharing ideas about actualizing spiritual potential! How do we survive the onslaught of everyday malaise?
First, I’m goin’ to run you through some of the keys I’m using to unlock my mind. Then, you hit up the comments section and share the strategies you’ll be using to break open your idea-doors!