It’s finally the fucking weekend, my dudes. Finally! What a fucking week. Stressful ass end of the semester. My wife’s dance with a drug test for her new job, which will be decided one way or another by the time this column drops. Insomnia. Erratic weather. Just a real cavalcade of bullshit that has me thanking JCVD that weekly reprieve has arrived. Not a moment too soon, not a minute too early. I’m looking forward to blasting my brains into the ether-realm with The Universe’s Flower, eating a tremendous amount of junk food, and hanging out with your dank, musty, dingleberry’d asses.
Hey, friends! It’s September, and I hope you’re all settling into the transitioning of seasons. As well, apologies for not penning columns as of late. Or, rather, typing. You know. Whatever the case, transmuting thoughts into symbols which make sense to you all. I’m just in a fucking funk, man. And when that shit happens, my expression-based faculties wither. Don’t wanna do anything other than fall inwards! That said, I’m hoping to blast out the comic books column this weekend, and high-five you fuckers in here.
The source of the malaise? Asides from Dead Cells? I think it’s emanating from a general sense of anxiety about teaching online, and the sadness that comes with it. Just not stoked, man. At all!
Welcome one, welcome all to Weekend Open Bar. The weekly weekend column where those of us lucky enough to have the next couple of days off (and those unlucky enough to not have them off, too) gather around the Digital Hearth. We share stories of what we’re going to be doing to enjoy our weekend. We share stories of the games we’re going to play, the movies we’re going to watch. We share stories of the meals we’re going to eat, the mistakes we’re going to make.
And go ahead! Make mistakes! Kiss that guy you can’t see yourself with long-term. Eat that twelfth slice of pizza. Play Overwatch until 6:30 am, bleary-eyed and too caffeinated to sleep well. Too hungover to yield a non-spinning room. And go ahead! Make mistakes!
I was worried for a hot minute about the United States and our crown as the Gluttons of the Planet. Pizza Hut over in the UK and the Middle East were unveiling truly heinous concoctions and there was silent on our Western Front. Worry not, friends. Burger King has got our back.
Look at this friggin’ madness. The various Pizza Huts of the world are upping their game. First it was the Pizza Hut UK claiming hot dog-stuffed crusts. Now Pizza Hut Middle East is smashing hamburgers on top of their fucking pies.