I don’t know man, I don’t know. Can anyone faithfully bring to the big screen the glorious, gorgeous, hilarious, occasionally dense as fuck cyberpunk (and top 5 all time of mine) book, Snow Crash? I’m not certain. But if it’s going to happen, Attack The Block‘s Joe Cornish is a good director to tap. But. I don’t know man, I don’t know.
Before John Boyega was Finn, he was Moses (Moses!, Moses! Moses!) in Attack The Block. In fact, the reason I was stoked for his casting in Force Awakens was due to Boyega’s performance in the aforementioned flick. This news, then? The news that Boyega is once again brainstorming with Block’s director? Tremendous.
Yes, Ant-Man. Yes! Continue to mutate into some abomination. Slough off your Wright-Cornish skin. Waddle through the comedic mud of Adam McKay. But! But continue your metamorphosis! Let us not stop tweaking this script until every ounce of Inspired Auteur has been left in the rubbish pile, replaced with the Clarion Call of Meddling and Wasted Potential!
Man, fuck! Like four hours ago I was really frothing down in the pink and soft area over the potential of Joe Cornish directing Star Trek 3. Now! Now like fucking out of the blue, a hammer of gloom is smashing a nail of disappointment into my heart of (insert another crappy metaphor).
To which I say, obviously, good! You may or may not know my opinion on Star Trek Into Bland But Pretty Action Movie Territory (but you do now!). So all I’m going to say is that I love the idea of some new blood working on the flicks.
Joe Cornish! I thought you were going to provide me with the Snow Crash adaptation I’ve fantasized about in my bed. Late at night. But hey, what can you do. If you end up directing Star Trek 3, my chubby will be nearly the same. Cornish’s Attack the Block is fucking fantastic, and I think the good sir could inject some heart into the Trek after the shiny but deadened Into Darkness.
Ant-Man! So real it has its own set of test footage. You pumped? Jacked? Pumped and jacked?
‘ATTACK THE BLOCK’ Director Joe Cornish To Write & Direct ‘SNOW CRASH’ Adaptation. This F**king Rules.
Holy convergence of awesomeness, Batman. My tits are twinkling over this one. Snow Crash is getting an adaptation, and the talent behind it is responsible for one of my favorite flicks of last year.
For those of us in the United States, today is Presidents Day. If I’m not mistaken, the holiday came about by merging the observances of Washington’s Birthday and Lincoln’s Birthday, and then including every other dude to ever serve as commander-in-chief. Personally, I think that this inclusivity is a bunch of malarkey. I mean, Washington was pretty dope for setting the presidential precedents, so I get wanting to celebrate his life. And Lincoln? Hell, the dude freed the slaves and preserved the Union! Who doesn’t want to give Honest Abe a high-five?
So while there’ve definitely been a few president-studs, they’ve most certainly been outnumbered by the duds. As I sit around today, watching television and reading books and not doing an ounce of work, I’m going to pick and choose the presidents to whom I give thanks. It only seems right.
I’d like to start by giving mad props to Benjamin Harrison, known for serving a single term between President Grover Cleveland’s two terms! Truth!
Without further adieu, welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where I ramble about some rubbish, and then show you the various ways I’ll be entertaining myself over the course of the week. Your task is to hit up the comments section and show off your own strategies for surviving the workweek.
Okay, let’s go for it.
Spielberg, where you been, man? The last time you thrilled me out of my seat was with Minority Report way back in 2002. Since then you’ve made some great flicks, but that Crystal Skull trick you tried to pull for your last movie was garbage. You’re back in one big way with a whirlwind of a movie: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. You’ve brought some friends with you too: Peter Jackson as producer and Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright, and Joe Cornish as writers. I wasn’t scared off by WETA’s motion-capture animation either, which is usually terrifying and gives humans cold, soulless eyes. Tintin is a balls-out action adventure mystery thrill ride form beginning to end. Take your War Horse and shove it, Tintin’s running this show.