#September2012
JOSS WHEDON spits about ‘AVENGERS 2’ calling it “complex and difficult” and other jazz.
After Avengers, just let Joss Whedon do whatever the fuck he wants. Let him. He has earned it. He turned your skeleton of a script into the best comic book movie of the past few years. Now he should be given the keys and told to have the car home by…whenever the second movie is due out.
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AMC Plans Six Film ‘AVENGERS’ MARATHON On May 3. Don’t Do It
The day before Avengers drops, AMC is holding the mega-wowie of all marathons. Do you have the power to bare witness to the Ultimate Marvel Marathon? Do you, foolish mortal?
Sam Rockwell Hates Turtles
Yes, that’s Sam Rockwell as a thug in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I would rank the performance as his third best of all time, falling behind the first-place Moon and the second-place Iron Man 2.
Seriously though, Rockwell is one of the most underappreciated actors currently working. Hopefully Iron Man 2 brings him some cash. Maybe we could pass around a collection plate?
Johansson As Black Widow Gives Me A Purple Priapism
My sickness is growing. After seeing Iron Man 2 today, I came across this Double-Gulp cup at 7-Eleven. Yeah, I came across it. There’s a pun in there.
Scarlett Johansson tucked into form-fitting skirts and pleather for two hours almost broke me. She gives my erection an erection.
Iron Man 2 Trailers Get Remixed, Tony Stark Breakbeats A-Go!
This shit is righteous. If you haven’t been able to figure out my insane ass-crush on Tony Stark, RDJ, and the Man of Iron, you haven’t been paying attention. This remix of the trailers have my pale, pasty, cottage-cheese ass booty poppin’. Here’s the full-scoop:
via slashfilm:
San Francisco-based audio/video mash-up artist/performer Mike Relm has created a cool remix of the Iron Man 2 trailer. Director Jon Favreau saw it and even showed it to the Paramount marketing department.
New Iron Man 2 TV Spot: Scarlett Johansson Likes It Dirty
Is that dirty enough for you?
It’s getting there.
Between RDJ, Scarlett Johansson, and ridiculous techno-gadgets, I swear to god my groin is going to explode during Iron Man 2. Hit the jump for the video.
Now I Can Slurp Up Tony Stark
Oh shit! Check this shit out! I was at 7-Eleven today to pick up my mandatory morning energy drink when I spied this cup. Not even wanting a slurpee, I, like a true asshole, just paid the slurpee price for the cup. I peed a little bit in excitement. It even moves when you rotate it! Swoosh!
My Mom came down into the dungeon today while I was taking this picture, and I was like “MOM CHECK IT OUT AN IRON MAN 2 CUP, IT EVEN MOVES” and she laughed and shook her head. It was the laugh of a mother knowing she bore out of her uterus a Manchild.
What can I say, it’s the little things in life, yo.
Scarlett Johansson As Black Widow Makes My Gentalia Swell To the Point of Pain
This poster was also in the same post as the True Blood one at Slashfilm today, but seriously, I had to dedicate an entire post to it. Scarlett Johansson has always been on my list of ridiculously amazing babes. Let’s ignore perhaps her little piggy nose, and focus on the fact that she’s got curves that could stop a lesser mortal’s heart.
You take those curves and stuff them black leather? Between her and Robert Downey Jr, My groin is seriously going to burst.
New Iron Man 2 Trailer Features Suit Case Porn
Holy sweet Jesus Christ, the new Iron Man 2 trailer makes me throw rope everywhere. It’s got everything to put a Tony Stark fanboy like myself into a state of rapture so powerful I want to explode with nerdgasm. Alright, so Mickey Rourke is either going to be cheeseball villain perfection to some, and unbearable goof to others. He’s commentary about God and blah blah and the crappy accent? I dig it, but I can see why you wouldn’t.
All I know is that the moment when Stark takes Iron Man armor out of a suitcase and it binds onto him? Pure technogasm sex. No, seriously. As a gadget fiend, I was fapping furiously and unrepentantly. One of my favorite aspects of the first movie was all the toys and technology Stark employs. The clicking and clinking of armor in the first one was sex to me, and the suitcase armor in this trailer gives the same service to my nerd-nads.
Also euphoric? Scarlett Johansson as a righteous redhead, what looks like to be some derivative of the Crimson Dynamos, and fucking War Machine. I need this shit, now. Check out the trailer below.
