#September2012

JOSS WHEDON spits about ‘AVENGERS 2’ calling it “complex and difficult” and other jazz.

After Avengers, just let Joss Whedon do whatever the fuck he wants. Let him. He has earned it. He turned your skeleton of a script into the best comic book movie of the past few years. Now he should be given the keys and told to have the car home by…whenever the second movie is due out.

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AMC Plans Six Film ‘AVENGERS’ MARATHON On May 3. Don’t Do It

The day before Avengers  drops, AMC is holding the mega-wowie of all marathons. Do you have the power to bare witness to the  Ultimate Marvel Marathon? Do you, foolish mortal?

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Sam Rockwell Hates Turtles

Sam Rockwell TMNT

Yes, that’s Sam Rockwell as a thug in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I would rank the performance as his third best of all time, falling behind the first-place Moon and the second-place Iron Man 2.

Seriously though, Rockwell is one of the most underappreciated actors currently working. Hopefully Iron Man 2 brings him some cash. Maybe we could pass around a collection plate?

Johansson As Black Widow Gives Me A Purple Priapism

Yes.

My sickness is growing. After seeing Iron Man 2 today, I came across this Double-Gulp cup at 7-Eleven. Yeah, I came across it. There’s a pun in there.

Scarlett Johansson tucked into form-fitting skirts and pleather for two hours almost broke me. She gives my erection an erection.

Monday Morning Commute: My Areolas Are Taut For Tony Stark

The Sex Files

Boston has been struck with some sort of water crisis. I’m not really sure what the crisis is; I just know that I can’t drink the water. Which naturally, makes me want to drink the water even more. Something about a water main breaking, and something, something, and then my eyes glaze over and I stop paying attention.

It’s all horse radish anyways. Apparently the worst thing it can do is give you diarrhea or something in a week. And let me tell you something, the shits and me are like peas and carrots. I actually prefer a nice liquid blast to some sort of sludgy hate crime. It makes clean-up so much easier.

Just sayin’.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

Iron Man 2

Watching /  Iron Man 2

If you’re any sort of frequent visitor to OL, you know that I have a dicklust for Iron Man 2/ RDJ / Scarlett Johansson / Tony Stark / Gadgets and Armor and Mechs that extends far beyond comprehensible scope. So yeah, the fucking Iron Man is returning for a second movie this Friday, and I’m stroking in anticipation.

Proverbially. It’s like, you know, just like, a metaphor. Or something.

Bear with me.

The movie isn’t doing as well as the original in the eyes of the critics, alas. What can you do? You know what they say about critics: cite them when they support your argument, dismiss them when they give you an opinion contrary to what you want to hear.

Either way, this movie is going to entertain me some some degree. I can feel it. Otherwise? Otherwise I’ll just lie to myself.

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Scarlett Johansson As Black Widow Makes My Unmentionable Vomit

Scarlett Johansson - Curves Like Wut.

[via popoholic]

It’s not fair.

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Iron Man 2 Trailers Get Remixed, Tony Stark Breakbeats A-Go!

I-I-I-Am Iron Man

This shit is righteous. If you haven’t been able to figure out my insane ass-crush on Tony Stark, RDJ, and the Man of Iron, you haven’t been paying attention. This remix of the trailers have my pale, pasty, cottage-cheese ass booty poppin’. Here’s the full-scoop:

via slashfilm:

San Francisco-based audio/video mash-up artist/performer Mike Relm has created a cool remix of the Iron Man 2 trailer. Director Jon Favreau saw it and even showed it to the Paramount marketing department.

New Iron Man 2 TV Spot: Scarlett Johansson Likes It Dirty

Is That Dirty Enough For You?

Is that dirty enough for you?

It's Getting There

It’s getting there.

Between RDJ, Scarlett Johansson, and ridiculous techno-gadgets, I swear to god my groin is going to explode during Iron Man 2. Hit the jump for the video.

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Now I Can Slurp Up Tony Stark

Iron Man 2 Slurpee!

Oh shit! Check this shit out! I was at 7-Eleven today to pick up my mandatory morning energy drink when I spied this cup. Not even wanting a slurpee, I, like a true asshole, just paid the slurpee price for the cup. I peed a little bit in excitement. It even moves when you rotate it! Swoosh!

My Mom came down into the dungeon today while I was taking this picture, and I was like “MOM CHECK IT OUT AN IRON MAN 2 CUP, IT EVEN MOVES” and she laughed and shook her head. It was the laugh of a mother knowing she bore out of her uterus a Manchild.

What can I say, it’s the little things in life, yo.

Scarlett Johansson As Black Widow Makes My Gentalia Swell To the Point of Pain

Black Widow : Sweet Jesus

This poster was also in the same post as the True Blood one at Slashfilm today, but seriously, I had to dedicate an entire post to it. Scarlett Johansson has always been on my list of ridiculously amazing babes. Let’s ignore perhaps her little piggy nose, and focus on the fact that she’s got curves that could stop a lesser mortal’s heart.

You take those curves and stuff them black leather? Between her and Robert Downey Jr, My groin is seriously going to burst.