Monday Morning Commute: My Areolas Are Taut For Tony Stark

The Sex Files

Boston has been struck with some sort of water crisis. I’m not really sure what the crisis is; I just know that I can’t drink the water. Which naturally, makes me want to drink the water even more. Something about a water main breaking, and something, something, and then my eyes glaze over and I stop paying attention.

It’s all horse radish anyways. Apparently the worst thing it can do is give you diarrhea or something in a week. And let me tell you something, the shits and me are like peas and carrots. I actually prefer a nice liquid blast to some sort of sludgy hate crime. It makes clean-up so much easier.

Just sayin’.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

Iron Man 2

Watching /  Iron Man 2

If you’re any sort of frequent visitor to OL, you know that I have a dicklust for Iron Man 2/ RDJ / Scarlett Johansson / Tony Stark / Gadgets and Armor and Mechs that extends far beyond comprehensible scope. So yeah, the fucking Iron Man is returning for a second movie this Friday, and I’m stroking in anticipation.

Proverbially. It’s like, you know, just like, a metaphor. Or something.

Bear with me.

The movie isn’t doing as well as the original in the eyes of the critics, alas. What can you do? You know what they say about critics: cite them when they support your argument, dismiss them when they give you an opinion contrary to what you want to hear.

Either way, this movie is going to entertain me some some degree. I can feel it. Otherwise? Otherwise I’ll just lie to myself.

The Adventures of Bobby Ray

Listening / B.o.B, The Adventures of Bobby Ray
As I’ve mentioned before, I usually abscond from recommending music in MMC, because people become most douchey when it pertains to this particular art. I’m much less sophisticated when it comes to music. When I hear something, I ask myself if I enjoy it. Then if I do, I continue listening to it. I don’t try and prop it up with justifications. Half of what I listen to is corporate barfed slush-pop, and the other is awful prog rock, and since I’ve never been good at math, there’s a lot of other pensive and lame and dumb shit in there too.

But I couldn’t help but put this album down, since I’ve been listening to it since it dropped last week. For sure, he looks like Kid Cudi’s clone, but he sounds more like Andre 3000. Along with the Cudi-meister, B.o.B seems to want to blend emo pontificating and pop sensibilities into his hip-hop, and I’m not going to complain. Dude has hooks like woah. I don’t listen to the radio, but if he isn’t all over it yet, it’s only a matter of time.

Halo: Reach

Not Playing / Halo: Reach Beta

Everyone and their dog is jizzing their Master Chief underoos about the Halo: Reach Beta which opened up today to anyone that bought Halo: ODST. I bought the game, but I can’t seem to fucking care. I don’t know.

I’ve never been one who likes playing beta titles. Maybe I’m retarded. I’ve had the chance to play the beta of World of Warcraft’s WOTLK and TBC, but I balked at them. Even though it’s just the multiplayer for Reach, I’d much rather wait for the sexy finished packaged to be given to me.

And maybe it’s also because I seem to be the


human being in existence who actually enjoys the Halo titles’ single-player campaigns more than their multiplayer. Am I? Maybe? Yes? No?

And that’s my life this week. It’s a shit load of scholarly articles, wrapping up the semester, and waiting for RDJ’s sexy mug and Scarlett Johansson’s gorgeous curves on the big screen. Anticipation, you son of a bitch!

What are you fucks up to?