#June2012
iPads Installed In Tennessee DMVS To Cut Down Wait Times. The Future. Yeah!
This is pretty fucking rocking. As anyone who has ever listened to the sagacious mewing of Les Claypool knows, Hell is spelled D-M-V. The peoples of Tennessee are aware of this, and in an effort to cut down on the fire and brimstone in their pockets of the Underworld, they have installed iPads. Cyeah!
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3D Images That Are ‘Indistinguishable From Reality’ Could Be A Mere 40 Years Away. Holo-Smut Get!
I mean, c’mon. Don’t tell me we aren’t all clamoring for 3D holograms that are indistinguishable from reality if only to go to the local holo-pr0n bar. Walk in, program in your specific fetishes: rabbit tail, latex, water sports, and enjoy your insanely real appearing holo-stripper.
Scientists Working On Device To Help Stephen Hawking Communicate Through BRAIN WAVES. Futurism ++
Everyone knows that Stephen Hawking is both one brilliant motherfucker and also the victim of a most uncool disease. The device that has helped the duder communicate since losing his voice thirty years ago are failing, leading totally wizard scientists into creating an equally impressive new one.
Humanity Weighs In At 287 Million Tonnes…But We Carry It Well!
How is this for a curious use of calculating abilities. Biologists have used their wizardry to calculate how much humanity weighs. The findings are being used to figure out our fat-footed impact on good old Earth.
SPINAL FLUID To Power Human BRAIN IMPLANTS? The Future Is Good.
The wonky motherfuckers at MIT have struck once more. Everyone knows that brain implants granting the human flesh telekinesis and flight are right around the corner. What is going to power these reality-bending wunder machines? Obviously spinal fluid.
Scientists Create SYNTHETIC SYNAPSE; The Rubicon Has Been Shit On.
There’s been a breakthrough in the development of synthetic synapses, and it’s a goddamn privilege that I even get to type that sentence. We’re flying head first into the future, folks. What is even more impressive is that soon that head is going to be cyber-nano-non-organic.
WATCH: First Video From Google’s Glasses. Unremarkable++
Here’s the first video from Google’s glasses. Pretty unremarkable stuff, right? This isn’t the augmented future I was promised! Patience, Caff. Patience.
An Entire Town In Wales Is Covered In QR Codes; Augment EVERYTHING.
Ain’t this an interesting eye sore all over the teats of a town in Wales. Riffing off of a TED talk that talked about doing an entire down in QR codes, they’ve plastered more than 1,000 codes onto their structures and such.
Apple Pledges To Power Data Center ENTIRELY With Renewable Energy; Futuro Swag.
I can only imagine the amount of power it dates to keep something like Apple’s date center in Maiden, North Carolina. What I imagine are a lot of hamsters, tethered to fuel-tanks by skull-conduits, generating kinect-telepathic energy to feed the Hive Mind. That’s like, a lot of power. The truth isn’t nearly as exciting, though it is sort of neat.
A VIRUS That Creates ELECTRICITY? Oh, You Scientists, You.
A virus that creates electricity. Just think about that shit in your brain-stem for a moment, augmenting it with this further thought. It’s real. It’s really real. Welcome to the future where the computer you’re watching furry-snuff porn on is powered by virii generating electricity from the thumping of your stroke hand.
