Buy These F**king Comics – May 2, 2012: 1990s Reboot Makes My Boner Dance

I just ate an entire Domino’s deep dish pizza. I’m covered in crumbs. My asshole is already writhing in hate, preparing to shotgun out waste across a porcelain tomb. My girlfriend and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on serious life issues. My bank account shrinks with the same rapidity my doughy ass’d waist expands. If this isn’t the perfect time to escape through some funnies, I don’t know when will be. Comic books, please deliver me from mortality, ideological stances, caloric repercussions, dependence on foreign oil, the problematic desire to respect women’s issues and also rub seed on their butts, and other complicated things. Just fucking do it, okay?

This is Buy These Fucking Comics, the column where we chat about what you’re procuring this week in the world of sequential art and female objectification. If I don’t drop something you dig, for the love of Thanatos speak up. That’s the entire point of this fucking enterprise.

Don’t know what’s coming out? Check right hurr.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – April 25, 2012: Martian Babes and Dinosaur Hunting

Yeah, I’ve been toying with the name of this column for weeks now. I’ll just accept it. Ain’t no one home when it comes to this little installation on Spaceship Omega. Buy These Fucking Comics!, the column where we all share the funny books we’re buying this week. In theory. Most of the time it’s just me pissing into the wind, waiting for a friend. S’all good though. I like pee play, and like many things in life while it isn’t ideal to do it alone, it sure as shit beats not doing it at all.

Actually want to play the game? Hit up ComicList.

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COMICS TIME THIS WEEK: Watch The Spaceman Choke, You Assholes.

Do you know how many comic books I read last week? One. I read the newest issue of Prophet  and that was that. It was a gloriously hypnotic trek through a devastated post-apocalyptic Hemingway novel, and after that I shut my brain down for the week. I’ve been trying to slice the fatty material out of my comic diet. Much like my life I’m sure I’ll continue to binge, but the ideal is to strip down the pull-list into things I want to read. Not things I want to read, feel implored to read, and have a passing interest in at the cost of my wallet.

With that in mind, this is Comics We’re Buying This Fine Week. The column where we sit cross-legged in a circle, pantless of course, and share what we’re digging on in the funny book universe on a given Wednesday. I’ll go first. You follow me into the closet and count to 20. It’s going to be awesome.

Not sure what is coming out? Hit up ComicList.

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Comics We’re Buying This Week: ‘ORC STAIN’ IS BACK, Stop F**king Everything!

Welcome to  Comics We’re Buying This Week.  At the end of a long fucking day, during a long fucking week in which I haven’t actually read  any comic books, I come to you.  My task!, should I choose to accept it: to tell you the funny books I’m buying during this ungodly weekly cycle. All I ask in return is that you partake in this community (I accidentally typed ‘cummunity’ so you can see the threads coming apart in here) by rattling off the swag you’re either buying or interested in that are dropping this week. It’s a simple conceit. Yet in these complicated times, isn’t that just a bit comforting? Make the nips soften a bit knowing every Wednesday lies some friends and some funnies.

Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit ComicList, then come back here. We’ll wait.

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Preview Of Hickman and Ribic’s ‘Ultimates #1’ Makes Me Care About That Universe.

Last week I was totally going emo over the lack of care I had for Marvel’s Ultimate universe. Somewhere, despite having been aware of it, I didn’t recall this forthcoming gem. Jonathan Hickman writes my favorite titles for the Marvel Universe, and  Esad Ribic’s work on Uncanny X-Force was some of the most glorious art I’d seen in many a fortnight. Put the two of them together on Ultimate Comics Ultimates #1 (worst title ever) and all of a sudden I’m rather stoked. Stoke-ified. Stoked through and through.

Hit the jump for a preview.

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