COMICS TIME THIS WEEK: Watch The Spaceman Choke, You Assholes.

Do you know how many comic books I read last week? One. I read the newest issue of Prophet  and that was that. It was a gloriously hypnotic trek through a devastated post-apocalyptic Hemingway novel, and after that I shut my brain down for the week. I’ve been trying to slice the fatty material out of my comic diet. Much like my life I’m sure I’ll continue to binge, but the ideal is to strip down the pull-list into things I want to read. Not things I want to read, feel implored to read, and have a passing interest in at the cost of my wallet.

With that in mind, this is Comics We’re Buying This Fine Week. The column where we sit cross-legged in a circle, pantless of course, and share what we’re digging on in the funny book universe on a given Wednesday. I’ll go first. You follow me into the closet and count to 20. It’s going to be awesome.

Not sure what is coming out? Hit up ComicList.


Ultimate Comics Ultimates #8
Hickman always tows the line between meticulous plotting and meticulously plodding, and I’ve gotten a bit of the impatience in my taint with this series of his lately. Even though I love it! I just want smashy smashy. If all Hulkian signs are to be believed, then I’m going to be in for a treat with this issue. Why?

The Hulk. That’s why.

You don’t want to fuck with Bruce Banner. Don’t let all the recent advertisements for The Avengers  fool you. Even though he is inexplicably smiling while everyone else stands around flexing and posing like brooding assholes, the dude isn’t to be trifled with. In this new issue of Ultimate Comics Ultimate Time Ultimate Avengers #8, Banner is heading into the heart of Not Dead Reed Richards’ robot city. Methinks the genius is in for a Stone Cold Stunner or two.


Choker #6
Sweet Tits On A Ram! I would be lying if I said I hadn’t almost completely forgotten about this comic. I mean, good grief! The first issue dropped over two years ago.  The last issue? A year ago! Yet here we are at the sixth issue. We’re just getting to the middle part of a baker’s dozen. The good news is that I assume that the delay in the comic is due to the raging success of Ben McCool and Ben Templesmith. Can’t hate on creators you dig getting busy. Even if I forget what the fuck has been going in in the narrative.

I know that it takes place in Shotgun City and the protagonist is a dude named Johnny Jackson (I think) who is hunting down some dude who…deals vampire drugs or some shit.Meanwhile a blond chick he rolls with reminds me a lot of Kara Thrace and swears a good goddamn lot. That’s enough to get the peep drip staining the white loins. Throw in some acerbic wit, ultra-violence, and gorgeous Templesmith artwork, and you’re golden. Even if you’re not sure what that golden hue exactly looks like anymore.


Uncanny X-Force #23
I’ve had a soft spot for Rick Remender’s insane X-Squad for a while now. He’s done the impossible. Made me give a fuck about an X-Title. Made me give a fuck about Otherworld. Those are impressive feats. The trial of Fantomex wraps up this issue, and I’m the storyline will conclude with the same blood-splattering mayhem that all the other ones have so far. As an aside, I’m ready for Remender to bring his his Gore Soaked Gang back into the 616. They’ve been ballin’ out in the Age of Apocalypse and Otherworld for a good while now, and it’s time they touched down and ripped some ass in the Universe Proper.


Spaceman #5
Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso’s Dystopian Mind-Fuck is proof of an axiom I’ve come to see recently. For romanticizing  geeks like myself, there’s a certain allure to dilapidated cultures and rotting bellies of existence if the conditions are correct. What are those conditions? I’m glad you asked. Namely that these we interact with these cultures only in fiction. I mean, I fucking love Blade Runner. I wouldn’t want to live there. God forbid I stay on message and realize that the place isn’t sexy, in fact it’s our own insanity reflected through the funny book prism.

Still though, I can’t be the only one. Don’t pretend you haven’t wanted to walk the Wasteland in Fallout  or snack at a shitty diner strewn somewhere throughout Midgar in Final Fantasy VII. Don’t pretend! I’ll know. Jesus will know. The Easter Bunny will know. The three of us, all knowing, will condemn you at our weekly poker game. Forbidding you from entering Glowing Eternity or getting any jelly beans. Yeah man, we’re serious.


Around The Horn:
On a whim I snagged Daredevil #9  and I dug it. There’s a good chance I’ll snag the latest issue tomorrow when it drops, thereby already staggering away from my proclaimed diligence. Better souls than myself like my brother will be lathered up for All-Star Western #7. I can’t get down with the Hex. From all the good things I hear about it, I consider it something of a personal flaw. Finally just to remind myself how much I suck, I’m throwing it out there that Unwritten #35.5  is dropping tomorrow and no,I haven’t read it.

I apologize.


That’s it for me, what are you snagging?