Watch: ‘Empire Strikes Back’ gets James Bond-esque Opening Credits

WATCH: That original BOBA FETT SCREEN TEST. You know, Jango’s clone.

Boba Fett screen test.

It must be “Hey, check out old as fuck Star Wars footage week.” You know, in honor of America. I don’t mind, though! Not one bit. The latest footage is from Boba Fett’s first screen test. From way, way back when. Prior to the days when Boba was just some annoying-as-fuck clone of Jango Fett.


You Prequels.


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Kevin Smith calls ‘CLERKS 3′ the series’ ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.’ This explains everything.


This dumb as shit quote from Kevin Smith explains a lot. Namely, how willing he is to pander to geeks’ loves. Or how out of touch he can be with his own work. Or how he would routinely praise the prequels back in the day.


Just no.

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Dave Perillo strikes awesome with this ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ poster. I know, -1 for the pun.

This is no cave!

Dave Perillo’s Empire Strikes Back poster is an adorable (albeit expensive) little morsel of nerdery I wish I could purchase. Seeing that I am poor (I originally typed porn here, if you want a look into my psyche), I must worship it from afar.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Strange Moments in Solid Movies: Return of the Jedi Buzzkill

Call me crazy, but I subscribe to the notion that, since its beginning, the universe has been ever-spreading and everything within its massive expansion has gone along for the ride. Following suit, every initial notion with storytelling potential tends to enlarge exponentially, growing with time and purpose into stories and, if the commercial and/or artistic drive remains resolute, these stories multiply into sequels and beyond. This especially holds true for the interstellar saga from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. After its explosive entrance into the public sphere in ‘77, the Star Wars universe took three years to develop from A New Hope into The Empire Strikes Back, wherein its archetypal characters became more complex and their dilemmas darkened as SW’s expansion followed its primary course into the emptiness of space. But then something changed: George Lucas, supreme author, came down and let there be lightness where the darkness once dominated. And this certifiable change is evident in the trilogy’s finale, Return of the Jedi.

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Deleted ‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Sees Han Going Full Douche.

There’s a delete scene from Empire Strikes Back making its way around the internet from the upcoming Star Wars Blu-Ray release. It’s pretty sweet, if you think that Han Solo acting like an even douchier misogynist is sweet. Just kidding! I sort of enjoy it. Buy that infernal piece of crap mutilated collection  sorts of enjoy it? Please!

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Empire Strikes Back Director Irvin Kershner Passes Away. Bummer.

The director behind the Empire Strikes Back totally became one with the Force today. Lame jokes ahoy! Seriously though, Irvin Kershner passed away tofay at the age of 87. Goddamn. As the director of my favorite installment of my favorite thing ever, the dude has a special place in my heart. Ah, mortality! You son of a bitch.

Rest in piece duder, high five Nielsen for all of us.

So it goes.

Darth Vader Spoils Empire Strikes Back In 1978. Oops.

[Source: io9, Click to Enlarge.]

Back in 1978, the man behind the stature of Vader, David Prowse dropped a bombshell on an adoring crowd in Berkeley, California. He revealed that he was, in fact, Luke Skywalker’s father. The crowd went bananas batshit about the information. The most impressive part? The dude was probably full of shit.

As everyone knows by know, even George Lucas didn’t have a fucking clue who Luke’s father was. His father’s identity was bandied about, and for a while it was considered to be Obi-Wan. In fact, even when it was decided that it was Vader, Lucas had Prowse say the lines “Obi-Wan killed your father!” (fixed to save geeks from apoplexy) while filming the ultimate emo-kid asshole scene of the actual reveal. James Earl Jones’ dialogue with the actual paternity megaton was dubbed in later.

So did Prowse know before everyone else? Or was he just spitting garbage? Either way, it’s amazing. And as io9 points out, this was before the internet. Shit like this happened now, it’d be everywhere, and Lucas would probably have Prowse assassinated.

BioWare: Mass Effect 2 Is Like Empire Strikes Back, Me: Isn’t Every Sequel?


There’s a few things that are frequently rocketing around the anticipatory portions of my brain. Bayonetta, Final Fantasy XIII and…Mass Effect 2. Apparently, Mass Effect 2 is going to be the “Empire Strikes Back” of the series. Which really isn’t, you know, news at all. Isn’t every sequel something that aspires to be the ESB of the series?   BioWare co-founder Greg Zeschuk comments:

Via IGN:

“If you recall, Empire Strikes Back was the darker chapter and that is how we designed the ME2 story and experience: to try and make the player reflect on the challenges of the character. If you put ME2 next to the original it is definitely a darker, harder game.”

It makes sense. I don’t really have anything else to say about it. I’m just a whore for anything Mass Effect 2. Mass Effect 2’s obvious correlation to ESB, Mass Effect’s money-grab with unique armor, Mass Effect fanfiction featuring Shepard and Wrex intercourse? I’m there, there, there.