Elon Musk just announced a humanoid “Tesla Bot” and we know how this shit ends

elon musk tesla bot

Elon Musk has announced a fucking humanoid “Tesla Bot” and it’s a pretty curious move. This is the same dude who has been shitting his pants about artificial intelligence! But, you know. I suppose we shouldn’t look for consistency or wisdom from this dumb ass. That said? Neat! We got a first look at our robot overlords.

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Elon Musk reveals first look at the SpaceX space suit. It’s science-fiction porn, dude

elon musk spacex space suit

Man. The SpaceX space suit is hot as fuck. Like, who knows if they’ll ever actually go anywhere wearing them, but they’re sexy to look at. Plus, it’s fucking functional.

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SpaceX makes history by launching and landing a used rocket

spacex launch and land used rocket

ELON MUSK. Please, sir. Please. Before you link all of our brains up to computers, can you please get some of us off this fucking rock? You’re doing good work, and this whole launching and landing a used rocket makes me feel like fuck it you may be on to something. ELON MUSK. Please, sir. Please.

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Elon Musk has outlined his plan to go to Mars

elon musk mars plan

Elon Musk has been talking about going to Mars for a long, hot minute. However this week Musk dropped the details of said trip, and they’re equal parts well thought out and bananas. I’m providing you with this assessment though, so it’s worth remembering I’m a fucking idiot. So take it for what it is worth. You know?

Hit jump for details!

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Watch: SpaceX landing its Falcon 9 rocket after delivering payload in space

OFF OF EARTH, OFF OF EARTH, OFF OF EARTH! Fuck, if the governments of the world can’t do it, maybe our CorporateOverlords can get some of us off this Blue Rock. And one of those CorporateOverlords’ companies, SpaceX, took a huge goddamn step.

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Hawking, Musk, Chomsky, and more sign open letter to ban Artificial Intelligence Weapons


A real fucking murderer’s row of intelligentsia have signed an open letter calling for a ban on Artificial Intelligence-based weaponry. Sure! Why not? Personally, I’ve always thought that if anything was to rise up and gain Artificial Intelligence, it would probably just be really fucking bored with us ape-folk. And our violence. And our war. But who knows. Maybe it would take on all of our wonderful traits, and subjugate the fuck out of us.

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Elon Musk wants to build the Internet for space

Elon Musk ain’t just launching satellites into space to cloak the Blue Marble in the Internet. Motherfucker is thinking larger. Like building the goddamn space Internet. For Mars. And probably Europa.

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Elon Musk is like “yep” to reports of a fleet of SpaceX satellites for cheap internet

good guy musk

Elon ‘STARK AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME‘ Musk has confirmed what had been a sneaking suspicion by many. The motherfucker is getting into the micro-satellite, cheap internet game. Launch them satellites! Give them internets! Then watch in horror as the A.I. uprising that Musk himself warned about co-opts those satellites for info-processing and laser-guidance.

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Elon Musk’s SpaceX raising another $200 mill. GET US TO MARS.


I don’t give a shit what sort of extraneous game Elon Musk talks, if the fucker can get us to Mars. The Hyperbolic One’s company SpaceX is trying to do just that (and a variety of other radical, space-related things), and it’s raising funds to do so. The latest wave of cash is coming in, to the tune of $200 million.

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Elon Musk: HUMANS on MARS by 2026. Oh. Okay.


I feel like every time I turn around Elon Musk is saying or doing something fucking wonky. Like, is this dude just talking out his ass these days because we’re all tuned into him? I ask because frankly I don’t want this Rich Prick getting my Space Fanboy Dick up at attention for nothing. Don’t tell me we’re on the Red Planet in twelve years unless you can deliver, bro.

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